Phoebe and I have a love-hate relationship with chat rooms. Sometimes chat groups suck! Listen in as we break down all the things we hate about swinger community chats and forums, and some of the reasons why we think you might like them. If you’re in swinger chat groups, or want to be, you may want to check this episode out.

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Did you know that many swingers use chat groups and forums in order to communicate with each other and learn about the latest going on in their community? If you didn’t, you might be feeling a little fomo. Well, we’re going to let you in on the pros and cons of some of these chat groups, as well as our love and hate of them. Welcome to Swinger University. I’m Phoebe. And I’m Ed. Join us as we explore the exciting world of ethical mamanagami, sexual health, and sex education with an intellectual and sexy twist. All right.

I’m excited to talk about this topic because it drives me apeshit.

And I have struggled, struggled, struggled to try and figure out the value of chat groups, chat forums, and that way of connecting, whether it be through Facebook, Telegram, Discord, Miwi, name. Name any of them. Name it. Yeah. And I will say I have decided I am a round peg and chat groups are a square hole and we just do not fit. Yeah. Chat groups aren’t for everybody. Yeah. We’ve been in and out of them since we started in the lifestyle and we did the math recently, 12 years ago. Yeah. At least. And it’s kind of a love-hate thing. Like I said in the intro, sometimes we like them to be able to find out what’s going on, but usually we just, just don’t like them and we’ll get into some of the reasons why we don’t like them. Yeah. And there are some chat groups forums. They’re a little different. They’re more professionals. They’re built around conferences or events. Right. Mostly sold to companies that are trying to get that particular group together. So let’s just say it’s a sex toy convention, right? So people that are going to go to the convention, they’ll sell that to an entity. People can chime in and they can talk about what they like, what their favorite toy is and how they like it, how they use it, who they, whatever, their favorite color, this, that, and the other thing. What were you going to say? Well, I was going to say it’s kind of like LinkedIn or Facebook, which is like this big macrocosm of a whole bunch of groups of mixed whatever, but pared down to one specific group for one specific event so that the participants in that event can almost kickstart the conference early. Yes. You get a sense of who’s going to be there. You can have some conversations. You can reach out and network with those specific people and get the whole thing rolling. We’ve had good experience with those. Yeah. Sort of. Yes. And we still have some of our downsides that we’ll get into even in those groups. What is the real purpose of these groups? It’s a way to quickly exchange information in real time.

It’s a space for education and it’s a place to ask questions. It’s also a place to feel this sense of community and find your tribe, connect with others. Maybe it’s a brand new interest that you’re into. You just got interested in finger painting and you’re like, “Oh my God, I just found a bunch of people who like it.” Right? Right. And so now

you’re discovering there are other people out there like you. And so you get to kind of connect and geek out over this brand new thing that you discovered. Yeah. The key difference between a forum and a chat group for those people who haven’t waded into this, and there are a few of us out there who don’t hang out there all the time, you can kind of think of groups like Reddit, or even Discord to a certain degree. That’s more of a forum. There’s chatting going on. You can start a thread, a specific conversation with a specific question, and then people can kind of participate within that conversation. And it’s a permanent record of that conversation. So people can refer to it and they can use it as a reference later. Does Discord do that also? Reddit does that, I know. Yeah. Discord groups tend to work like that too. You can scroll back through the history and get that information. Whereas chats, depending on the app, that history can actually disappear. You might not be able to get the historical context. The other thing that’s unfortunate with chats, because they are, let’s say, a way to get to know people, if someone’s posted their picture and a little bio about themselves and it disappears, you have to keep repeating yourself. So there isn’t a common place within a big, long chat to have all of those bios who’s participating in the group and find out a little bit more about them. Now, some chat platforms are better than others. Telegram, it’s okay. And I think that a good tip would be to fill your bio out so that people have a better sense of who you are. So when you’re contributing to that chat, you can just jump into the person’s bio and maybe see a picture of the couple, maybe understand what their play preferences are, et cetera, et cetera. But let’s get into some of that. Yes. So what are some of these benefits? It does improve social skills. You get an appreciation of different perspectives.

You become more effective at communication, theoretically. You learn from one another and you can inspire one another. And why are they created in the Swinger community? A lot of people build them to build the community, right? They bring the community together within that community. Everyone has little sub interests. There’s communities that only are shopping, interested in bringing a single into their relationship. Some are poly, some are more BDSM. So different little subsections of the community. It creates a sense of belonging. And it also helps relay information about parties that you can’t always post everywhere else. Right. Maybe you don’t have a large following on Twitter or Instagram and you can’t, or you don’t have a Facebook following or a page. So you use the groups to do that. I will say a lot of the Facebook groups,

the Messenger people feel uncomfortable chatting and sharing sexy pics on Messenger. And I don’t even think you can send a sexy pic in Messenger. No, Facebook will probably shut it down. So a lot of people will go there to meet their group and then they’ll message to get to a MeeWe or Telegram chat where they can have more free conversations without being monitored.

You can set these groups up as a specific community for an area, which is great. Like maybe there’s a group of people who regularly get together and have house parties, get that group together onto a chat group and send your information back and forth. Unlike a larger party where you’re maybe doing it for profit, like a house party, and you want anybody who’s visiting or in the area, or maybe doesn’t even participate that much, maybe even newbies who’ve never participated. They wouldn’t know about your house party in a chat group because it’s a private group. Only people who’ve been invited there know about it. So if you want to keep your party smaller, maybe more intimate, maybe just your close friends or your recent acquaintances and not any random person in the internet, chat groups are great for that. Exactly. Let’s get to

why they suck. We have some strong, potentially controversial positions, opinions about chat groups. And as a communication major, I find them extremely frustrating. So they typically are unfiltered and loosely monitored by the host or monitor. They’re also very time consuming

for the host or monitor or admin and for the end user. So why are they very time consuming?

Well, the long and short of it is it’s stream of consciousness, just blurting out whatever’s on your mind or what’s going on in your life.

And I’m regularly popping into these groups and having to catch up because

let’s say there’s a hundred people in there. If everybody posts once an hour, that’s a hundred messages per hour. If you haven’t been in there all day, that’s 800 messages. So you can imagine by the end of a day, there’s 1500 messages. And some of them are just likes, thumbs up, little gifts, random stuff that really isn’t necessarily something that you need to keep up on because it was a message back to the original post. So there’s a lot of noise that you’ve got to scroll through in order to find the meat and potatoes of it. Right. There’s also this sense of not belonging. So if you are a late comer to the group, you kind of feel like you’re at the wrong reunion. Right. They’ve had a party before. They said, Hey, we all gel together. Let’s create a group chat and let’s be selective. Who else we want to bring in? Well, okay, great. But those other people that come, they’re late to the party. You guys have already, you’ve played together, you spent hours together, you have history together. There’s inside jokes that you don’t get. There’s just this kind of weird sense where you’re like kind of on the other side of the fence going, Hey, what? I don’t know. I don’t get the joke. I don’t know what’s going on. Exactly. So despite the host being able to introduce you and kind of bring you into the fold, you always get this feeling that you’re just an outsider. And I don’t think for me, it doesn’t improve the longer you’re there. So even though you give it the good try and you say, I’m going to be in there every day and participate and read through, and you could do that for 30 days. I think this goes back to some of our fundamental problems with online personalities versus real life personalities until you’ve met someone and actually had a face to face conversation with them or flirted with them in real life. You don’t really know who they are, but you’re right. It’s kind of an inside joke, if you will, because you’ve never met these people and people in real life are different than they are online. It’s not the same. Right. It’s not the same. The other thing that drives me nuts. And this is a pro and con. This is all in one. It’s a pro and con. Let me preface this with I understand the reason for the naked pics and videos. I get it, but it drives me nuts. It’s typically women being posting themselves or their husbands posting the women. So there’s usually not enough men to me, honestly, pros and cons. Let’s be real. It is a self-serving ego boost, and I get it. Let’s just be honest. You get to post a picture of yourself. You’re like, I’m feeling sexy today. I’m going to post this pic. Right. And you post that pic and someone’s like, oh my God, you’re so sexy. Oh my God. Heart, heart, heart, love, love, love, thumbs up, thumbs up, thumbs up. Hey, I’m all for that. Like I get it. But really, after a while, can we get over that? Like how long does it take for you to go?

Oh yeah. How long, how long does that? Now I personally enjoy posting pics. Now I don’t post very often. I post occasionally, usually when there’s a topic for the day and I have something to contribute to it, but there are individuals who post a lot more than others. And there are some people who post things and I’ll kind of get into the pictures and this is where we get to it. Some of these really turn into almost their own personal blog because they’re usually one or two individuals who post everything that they’re doing into that group chat. And oh my God. And that’s, that’s okay. Like if you have an Instagram account and you want to post what you had for dinner, what you had for breakfast, your latest shopping trip, all that kind of stuff. That’s, that’s cool.

But people who want to see your stuff and what you’re posting would subscribe or follow you on Instagram. That’s perfect for that. Right. But in a chat group or a forum designed to connect people together, how much of you does everybody want to see? My thought in kind of the rule that I have in my head is it’s a sexy group for sexy people doing sexy things. So keep it sexy. Right. And, and this gets to the, what is the purpose of the group? Right. What is the topic? If it’s about, let’s just say it’s about cats. Sure. Why are you posting photos from you at work? Why are you posting photos of you at the gym? I don’t care. Right. Like I really don’t care. Does that make me get to know you better? No. Yeah. I mean, in a sense you’ve tuned into group in order to find out about a topic and come to find out you get there and nobody ever talks about that topic. Well, you’re going to, you’re going to tune out after a while. It drives me bananas. One of the other things it’s kind of an unfortunate side effect of chat groups is if you’re not in the chat group and let’s say you’re at a party and a bunch of people are talking about, Hey, did you hear about this thing or the latest event or the next party? Oh, it’s, it’s in our chat group. Like what secret club that I’m not invited to. I’m already in the secret club, but there’s now a secret secret club. Yes. That’s just in this chat group. Yes. There’s a telegram group that we’d heard about at a house party. Real example. Everyone there at the party was in this group except us. Yes. And we were like, Hmm, I guess we’re a not the cool kids, right? Because we didn’t hear about it. Right. B how did we not hear about it? Right. And, and then C we, okay. Now we, now we really want to be in the group. And then once we got in the group, we didn’t participate enough. And so we got kicked out. Yes. Because literally people posted 24 seven, 365, like constantly. I’m, I’m convinced that some of these people actually don’t work. I, there’s no way I, I do not know how people actually hold down a job and do this at the same time. It cannot be risky, high explosive kind of work because they’re obviously not paying attention to whatever they’re doing because they’re on their phones all the time. Which makes me really nervous. Right. Depending on what kind of job you have. Probably they’re not, you know, pilots or something. Yeah. After all of this, like who really benefits from this

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thing, even existing. Well, what do you get out of it? Yeah. You, you, you do get a little bit of an ego boost from posting your picture and people admiring you from afar. I like the little hot things, but I was also the nerd in high school that nobody really paid attention to. And so now I’m kind of living a little vicariously through this going, some chicks actually think I’m hot. That’s kind of cool. Wait, you like the little thumbs up in the hearts. And I do, I do like that. And I will actually go in and see who liked it because it gives me a sense of who finds me attractive. But you don’t get tired of that. No, I don’t, but I don’t get very much of it too, because I’m a guy. Oh, cause women aren’t typically hearting or thumbs up in your, or do you just have to post them? Well, typically guys don’t post pictures and there, there’s a lot of participation of guys in forums, right? It’s all about the, the, it’s titty Tuesday. It’s right. Thick thigh Thursday. It’s most of those little themes that get kind of cooked up in forums. They’re for women to post their pics. Do you feel weird if it was titty Tuesday and you post your titties just to fit in? Well, some groups do a good job of creating a secondary theme for the guys to be able to participate. I can’t remember some of them off the top of my head, but like man meet Monday. Oh my goodness. You can guess what’s in there. Wait, wait. Okay. So, so I just bashed everyone earlier about the ego boost and it being enough already. Right. So did that offend you? Did you like, no, I’m not offended. How do you feel about that? Well, because I think that there’s in, in everything in life, there’s moderation. And if I were to post every five minutes, a picture of my junk, people would get tired of it. If I was constantly posting, even if it was sexy, let’s say it’s not a picture of the wood shop or me cooking a meal or any of the other things that I do around the house, scrubbing toilets, those things are not sexy. So people would, I would hope would get upset about me posting dumb stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with the topic at hand. But even if I keep it topical, even if I keep it sexy, there’s a limit. How many times do I need to see the same person post the same picture or a variation on that picture? Yes. It’s nice to be reminded every once in a while. Let’s say you get a new sexy piece of lingerie and you think it’s great. It’s okay to share that with the group. But if you’ve got an entire only fans batch of photos with the same piece of lingerie with 40 different poses, I don’t think you need to post all of those. So you’re saying moderation, not every day,

not the same photo. Right. Everything in life is great in moderation. Drink a little, smoke a little, have a couple pieces of candy. You don’t have to gorge yourself on any one thing. So don’t fire hose the chat with all of your pictures, even if they’re sexy. I think a lot of moderators think that keeping it sexy means sexy pics. Right. And I don’t, I don’t understand like the point of all of that. Yeah. Because I think that there’s other ways to engage people in foreplay, if you will, through conversation or through talking about sexy things. Right. What’s going to make that quality connection? Is it mental typically?

Yeah, especially for women. Typically topical. So once again, not about all those other examples that we gave before. Well, and to kind of get into a little bit of it, the enthusiasm about a particular topic, it’s much easier to express that than it is through a picture. Why? Because if you’re enthusiastic in a movie clip or a picture, you’re just doing something sexual. It’s basically just porn, but that doesn’t get into your, your inner feelings about how hot you think that thing is. Right. Pretty much everybody looks the same when they’re jerking off or playing with their tits.

That doesn’t look all that much different. I mean, we all moan a little bit different. We may have a different technique, but the mechanics of it are the same. But talking about it and getting into the juicy details of why you find that hot is way hotter. I agree. Way hotter. And you get a sense of that person and kind of what they’re, what makes them sexual, what makes them hot through that much better than you do that just seeing a picture of them. As we’ve said, talking to people and kind of digging into their personality and their sexuality is usually way more fun and interesting than getting a naked picture of them. Right. I agree. Much, much better than a 2D pic to have this type of conversation or insight into their mind, their interests, their, maybe even their kinks. Right. And that I think helps to build that quality connection, even though I’m still sticking by this. Yeah. Real life is so much better than a chat group. It’s a false equivalency to think that they’re the same thing. They’re not. I don’t care how much time you spent chatting with someone online, meeting them in real life is an entirely different experience. It is. It is entirely different. Do you, do you feel more connected to a community by being in these groups and, and how these are some of the questions I have are, do you feel more knowledgeable? Do you, do you have this sense of belonging and, and how so, what, what kind of information was shared about swinging that you didn’t know? And are you someone that really needs to be that connected and distracted all day long? And I would say in the beginning for us, that need to feel connected,

which was distracting because we, we, we were trying to figure out swinging in the, the, the, the components of it. There wasn’t a lot of information out there and everyone seemed to had it all figured out. And we were listening to a lot of podcasts to try and figure out what the heck is this thing? So it was very distracting, I will say. My brain was thinking about that quite often at work and it was new and novel and interesting and blah, blah, blah. So I do get that. But I will say the, in comparison that the groups and forums that are out today,

maybe more so the forums probably address a lot of the questions people have, like a new, a newbies have for the lifestyle. Depending on, depending on the forum. There are some that I think are very newbie friendly for, for people who are just getting into it, maybe don’t have a lot of experience with it. There are online forums and, and some chat groups that can help people and kind of foster that welcoming and encouraging experience. There are others, and I will not name them, but they are on Reddit that are one troll fests. And if you say just the wrong thing, you will be lumbasted out of existence. It’s unfortunate that there are, there are some people who are in the, well, we already know club and this is our club and we like to hang out here and talk. And by you bringing in questions that have been, and this is a very common phrase there, asked and answered, go read the forums, RTFM as they like to say, go read the fucking manual. And that’s not really conducive because people are just browsing. And here’s another thing. And this is, this is where it gets very convoluted and very frustrating in some of these groups. There’s actual internet etiquette that says, don’t go back, bring back to life. These old posts, if you have an additional question, they call them Necro posts because they just won’t ever die. And a lot of forums don’t want something from 1987 being brought back to life and brought in because things have changed. The answers are different. It’s not a good post. And a lot of times they want you to start a new conversation because the societal dialogue has changed. Can you imagine posts from the nineties talking about the LGBTQ community versus posts today? Entirely different conversation. Yes. I mean, back then you’d be talking about the HIV epidemic and how it was devastating your community. And now it’s all about prep and pep and all these other things. And it’s what was going on then is not the same thing that’s going on now. And the same thing is true in the swearing community. So it’s kind of a catch 22 with these posts and some of these groups be cautious, go in gently and don’t necessarily ask controversial things. Or if it starts to go controversial, just back out because it’s just not worth it. It’s not worth engaging in. I will say there are probably eight very good, could be as many as eight, eight very good Facebook forums for swingers that have large communities. We’re talking thousands, 50,000, 100,000 people. And there are very good contributors in that forum that answer questions. You get stupid answers like you shouldn’t even be a swinger then like, how is that helpful? Like really?

Those are the need your control responses. People are just trying to get a reaction out of people. I hate that. But there are a lot of people that go in and they have genuine questions, new people. And so that is a good way to get some questions answered. Sure. Sure. Yeah. They’re not all evil, but be cautious. Yes. When you step in it, you’ll know it. Right. It’s kind of smell that stink.

How to run a good chat. Here are some of the tips that we think and have seen how good chats are run a clear title on what the chat is about. So, you know exactly what you’re getting into. Right. If you’ve got some abstract title or it’s vague or it’s just cute and maybe quirky,

people don’t know what they’re getting into. Right. Clear and detailed rules. And this is so that people know how to behave and you know how to, and then you can hold people accountable. Right. So that you can follow up with people and go, hey, appreciate you participating. But rule number three says you can’t really say that. There’s a warning. Just, you know, be cautious, blah, blah, blah. Right. And these clear details rules really set the expectation and the tone for what that community supports and condones. Yeah. So if you’re not clear with your rules, people will do whatever they want. And as a society, we’ve got some people who are on varying ends of spectrums and there are certain things that maybe the group has decided we don’t want discussed. A lot of them that I would say in a Swinger group that you probably don’t want to bring up, you don’t want to bring up politics and you don’t want to bring up kids. Neither one of those things are particularly sexy and they are highly polarizing. Right. You want to have daily monitoring and with an admin presence, maybe multiple admins depending on the size of the group or you probably would like or should have a backup. You can’t always be in the group. Maybe you’re in multiple groups and you just don’t have the bandwidth. Something happens, there’s a death in your family or your job got really busy or you want to go on vacation. Having a backup or two or three backups is key. Or you have a job and during the day you need somebody who can moderate who maybe doesn’t have a full-time job or works different hours than you. Right. The monitors also keep the chat on track. Keep it from going to sideways. If it’s a chat once again about cats, cooking isn’t allowed. Right. So keeping the chat on track, keeping the group in the same space, it helps everyone to talk about the same thing. Right. And because you have rules posted and you keep enforcing those rules consistently, so consistent enforcement of the rules is very important. Right. Sending warnings out to those people who are not complying, they’re not following the rules and or even just pulling their posts down and then sending them a small message going, we had to pull that down because you started talking about politics or you started talking about fishing. Right. It’s a swinger group. Let’s talk about swinging. Right. You also want to reach out to those individuals who are extreme over-sharers and typically they’re off topic. Yeah. Or their people just dominate the post. Also, a good chat post forum is daily posts of information or questions to keep the group interested or to get the group talking. Maybe people aren’t really active. Right. It’s also a way to kind of swing the conversations back towards a particular topic or away from anything else that’s going on. Yeah. Maybe one topic spurred off a side topic and a side topic is kind of like way off on left field and you want to kind of bring them back. That’s also, yes, a very good way to do that. Consider limiting the number of people in the group.

A hundred? A hundred is pretty big. Yeah. And you’d be surprised at even a small group, even a small group, how many messages can fly through. And I think it comes down to what’s the purpose of the group. If it’s to foster a community and you’re not going to kick people out for lack of participation, then having a hundred people in there may not be that big a deal. Knowing full well that no one can keep up with the fire hose that’s going to happen in terms of information being sent through. But if it’s a small group for a specific party, yeah, limited to the number of people who you think are going to attend your party. Plus the people canceling at the last minute over planning. Yeah. So that’s a good point. When you were talking about maybe it’s a temporary chat for a party, but so why was it created and how long and it all kind of plays into that and the number of people you want. And if it’s one of those temporary chats, I would recommend shutting the chat down after the event. Yes. Yes. Maybe give them a week because they can reconnect.

One of the most frustrating things that we had when we first signed on to SLS as an example, they’d post a party. Everybody would say, I’ll be there. I’ll be there. I’ll be there. You go to the party, you meet them and you didn’t get their number or you didn’t get their name or you want to connect with them on the social platform. And what SLS would do is at midnight of that day, that event, it would disappear. They fixed that and now it hangs around for, I don’t know how many days, 24, 48 hours or something so that you can find their profiles and connect with them after those events. Yes. That’s key. It was key. I loved when they changed that feature because no one’s walking around with their phones. Typically, because it’s an event where you can’t have your phones out and you’re socializing with people. You’re not really on your phone. Yeah. So think about what the purpose of the chat group is or the forum and how long you want to keep it up. The main reason to shut it down after the fact is you don’t want to have to maintain two separate groups. So let’s say it’s a splinter group from the main chat just for this party. People who decided to go to this party. Well, you don’t want this to become its own group and start to grow and have its own personality. You want to bring those people back into the main conversation. So shut it down, move everybody back. Exactly. Admins are typically very good at introducing new people. That is a function they all in all the forums tend to know to do. In Discord, you are required to do that typically as part of your

schedule of things that you have to check off when you sign up. Right. There’s usually an order of operations before you can even participate in the group. Correct. Yeah. So if you’re not in a Discord group or like that, then in the chat groups, the admin will introduce you. And once they do that, then you go ahead and provide your own introduction, something else with a photo and whatever else that you’re into. Yeah. Yeah. Usually we’ll do basically like a mini bio, who we are, where we live, what we like to do, what we’re looking for. And another key one, whether you’re open to direct messages or not. So if it’s okay to DM, DM you say it in there, because then as people are reading your bio and they’re like, Oh, they’re kind of fun. We’d like to meet them. Then they can send you a direct message and they can start that conversation, which is the whole point, at least for us, right? Of meeting people online is so that we can meet them in real life. Exactly. Exactly. And for a new person, the admins should be the primary responder to the new people’s posts, at least for the first week, maybe two weeks. Kind of pull them in. To pull them in, make them feel welcome. And when an admin responds, other people tend to chime in. They’re like, Oh, the admin responded. And so then they’ll chime in. And you can kind of think of admins as the customer service or the public relations face, Julie Cruz director, if you will, of the chat group. Right. So they’re the designated greeter. They’re the designated participant. They’re the designated phone mentor of new topics. So you also become the person who tries to pull people into the chat and get them to participate. And some people just won’t participate, but you have to try. Right. And then the admin, lastly, will kick those out that don’t share. Some do, some don’t. I see this often where they do. Now a lot of admins will call them lurkers. We’re going to kick the lurkers out because they don’t share. There’s pros and cons with that. Pros and cons. Because what you’re forcing people to do is maybe be outside of their comfort zone. Maybe they don’t post pictures of themselves because of the job that they have or their position within a community. And, but they’re there to find out about parties so that they can actually hang out with the real people. So if your forum really is online only and you don’t have any intention of getting these people together, then yeah, you can kick people out if they don’t participate because that is the end goal, participation within the group. But if your end goal is to break the ice before a physical event, then kicking people out may not be such a good thing to do. Right, right, right, right. Exactly. All right. So well, that was exciting. A lot of pros and cons. And you definitely got to see my feelings and reaction to chat groups. What, let’s wrap this up. How do you feel about the forums and the chat groups? I have mixed feelings about forums and chat groups. And there are definitely some groups that I will not participate in because of the volatile nature of that community. For me, it’s not worth the risk of engaging in a hostile group or a potentially hostile group. And so I just avoid them. Even though I feel like I have information and we do as podcasters and 12 year experienced veterans within the lifestyle, we contribute. But I’m going to choose to contribute through the podcast, through our YouTube channel, and not in those forums because I don’t want to deal with the stress and the challenges of working with people who are there just to be mean. Yeah. For me, it’s not worth the stress. I’ve had enough crazy in my life and I choose to not engage with people like that, just like I don’t engage in a lot of political forums because of that. It’s just too polarizing. What about the chat groups? You don’t really participate much in them. I don’t. And I have a job. I work and it’s very focused job. It requires my attention. It’s very detail driven. Same. I could spend periods of time throughout the day doing that, but I also am managing our social media and I’m managing the podcast and I’m checking on our financials and all kinds of stuff. We’re planning trips and other social things. Other social outside activities besides that. Right. I get that a lot of people that this is their main focus and this is their main outlet for social engagement. I have a lot of other outlets and I have a lot of things that distract me from that. So yeah, my participation varies. It depends. I go through cycles where I participate more and less. I will typically try and get that notification counter down. So I’ll periodically go in, but I try not to go more than a day or two from jumping into those so that I’m not overwhelmed by the volume because it bothers me to try and catch up. And there have been key moments where I’ve missed out because a new couple maybe introduced themselves and I didn’t get to introduce us to them. Or you missed somebody’s introduction because it’s two days ago. It just went by. It’s gone. So you don’t really know the changes. That’s one of the features of some of the groups they can pin to the top of the thread. New information like a party or anything that’s new. And that’s nice to have in there when the admins do do that. But I am out of all of those groups now and you are in charge because it gives me so much stress. Viscerally, I can’t handle it. I just can’t. It is not my thing. It’s very anxious. Makes me very anxious. I have tried and tried and tried. Honestly, social media has never been my thing. And we are deep in it and we are pulling someone out of it. It just doesn’t do anything for me. And it just creates a lot of stress, honestly. But we realize they do have a lot of value for a lot of people and brings communities together. I think they can be great for information, especially for parties and things that are going on. Yeah. And I think that’s what I’m trying to rely on it for is an alternative to the typical Swinger dating sites like SDC and Cassidy and SLS. Because it is our local group, and these are people theoretically who we’re going to run into, I kind of want to get to know them a little bit. And it might lead us to attend an event or a party because those people are there. And we’re like, we really want to meet these people. They seem like a lot of fun. I will say in closing, the chat forums that I find the most beneficial are the ones that have a lot more structure to them. So it’s a different type of app. It’s more of a professional or business type of app where you get more options within the chat to break out different forums. It’s like a tree. It’s kind of like a discord in an app. Yeah. And it’s for a limited time. Let’s say you’re going to an event and the chat opens three months before it really does give you the opportunity to get to trying. You do kind of get to know people because there’s a tree of information. You get people that are interested in alcohols or BDSM or there’s different topics that start to crop up. And then you can kind of gravitate to those people and start having conversations. And then you connect with those people when you get there. Right. Because what they’ve done is they’ve taken the one long, massive super thread of all of the conversations and they’ve broken it up into sub topics so you can participate in the areas that you find interesting. Yes. It’s nice to be able to choose what you want to participate in. And with one big thread, you don’t get to choose. It’s whatever the group is doing at that particular time. Right. Right. All right. Well, it was very comprehensive this topic, I feel. It was a little all over the place, but we were very passionate about this topic and we hope it was very informative.

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