Have you ever stumbled across something so intriguing it changed your life forever?

That’s exactly what happened to us. One night we were just a regular couple listening to a podcast. And the next we found ourselves at a secret swinger party we found on Craigslist.

Nervous, excited, and completely out of our depth. A share your wife party with total strangers.

Things got crazy. You won’t want to miss the shocking and violating club entrance requirement we never saw coming. Stick around because in this wild, unexpected story we talk about how we became swingers.

Welcome to Swinger University. I’m Ed. And I’m Phoebe.

Yeah. So let’s just get started. This is our other origin story. So we’ve done the episode where we talked about our first full swap experience. Yeah.

Check the link above. If you haven’t seen that story, this was like way back. This was like the first. This is how we got started. Like the whole thing. Yes. Yes. This crazy journey.

I remember very distinctly sitting on the bed. I was at your house. We were still dating.

And I was sitting, relaxing on the bed. It was after work and your office desk was also in the bedroom. And you were in your office chair and you turned around and you said, “Hey, I wanted to share something with you. I’ve been listening to this podcast called Sex is Fun.” And on one of the episodes, they were talking about swinging.

And I was like, “Oh, really?”

And you said, “Do you know about swinging? What are your thoughts on this?” And I said, “Well, actually, I thought about swinging when I was in my 20s.” And then of course, Ed’s ears are perked up and he’s intrigued. And then the conversation starts, right? He’s like, “Oh, well, tell me more.” And I said, “Well, at the time I was dating someone who was 30 years my senior.”

(Laughter) Can’t be cool. And I thought, “Well, he’s got to be.”

He grew up in the decade when swinging was really popular. I’m thinking, you know, the 60s. And he was a drummer. So I’m thinking he must have had a crazy wildlife, right?

And he’s a drummer. It was the 60s, free love. Of course he’s a swinger or he’s done it. And so I bring it up to him while I’m dating and he was emphatically a hard no.

Which I was just crushed because I thought for sure he’d be up for an adventure like this and it shocked me. I didn’t expect the no. I didn’t expect it at all. Yeah, yeah. And so I got shut down and that was the end of that. But I could have completely been on a swinger adventure in my 20s had I been with the right partner. I didn’t know it didn’t really exist. I figured he knew he had like the inside track. Right. And because he shut it down so hard and so fast, there was no conversation about what if or does it still happen or blah, blah, blah. Right. And so I just acquiesced to his preferences and that was that.

We’ve been going forward a few years and here we are having this conversation about swinging and you were intrigued enough where you started to listen to the podcasts too. And we started with one and then we switched to a different podcast and we were listening to every podcast we could about all of the lifestyle. Yeah.

And at the time there was probably five, maybe seven and they’d pop up and they’d close down just like they do now.

You’d get invested in people’s lives. And I remember this one couple, they’d always sit in front of the fireplace. They must have been in a cold environment and they had a crazy cat that would run around their apartment. And one time he like jumped up on their dining room table and like did a slide and like the candles sticks fell off and made this loud bang. And I remember how hilarious it was, but they were really entertaining and then they stopped podcasting and I was so sad because I was actually learning a lot from them. Right. And I loved hearing about their adventures and I wish I knew where they were today because I was invested. So we hopped around and I was listening to podcasts on the way to work, on the way home and while I was at work. So I was just like a sponge, soaking them all in.

Well, it’s one thing to listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos or try and learn all this stuff through other people’s experiences, but at some point it has to go from an academic pursuit to a practical pursuit. And we finally got to a point where we were scouring the internet, trying to find where do you go to do this? Especially where we lived in Sacramento.

How, where, who, what, what do we do next? Yeah. And I do remember researching vacations for adult vacations, but at the time, Desire and Hito, they weren’t even hinting that they were Swinger related at all. That was just adult. It was kind of like, what’s the other one?

The expensive one that’s adult only that’s completely vanilla. Oh, not temptations. It was right next to… Sandals. Yeah, sandals. They were like that. Their websites were like that. You didn’t even know that they were Swinger friendly. And so back then I was like, oh, well, okay. I don’t know. How are people doing this? Right. What’s our next step? What do we do? So we couldn’t find any of the adult dating websites, but we were, we did find a Craigslist ad. Yes. So at the time, Craigslist had a personal section and there were ads being run for a share your wife party. There was another one, which is like a gang bang party, which we didn’t go to. But the… That was too scary. That one seemed like extra, extra, but share your wife sounded safe.

And I think the biggest conversation that we’d had about that, and this kind of goes back to the last episode that we went into, which was we went at our own pace. So we knew, let’s just go and watch. We don’t have to do anything, right?

If it gets too scary, we can run. Like we can run. But we had, we were having a conversation with another couple on Craigslist and we’re having a dialogue going on and they said they were going to go. And so that also made us feel safe because we kind of knew somebody that was going. And so we, I was, I was, I took comfort in it, but I was a little nervous because I didn’t know if they had any expectations.

Because we weren’t ready to do anything, but just watch. And I think they wanted more.

Quite possibly. That was my feeling. Quite possibly. So we show up at this Craigslist share your wife party. I don’t think they run them anymore. They sure they stopped after like that first year. Of course, Craigslist is now defunct, but we arrived at this party and you’re all going to laugh at this because basically it was like a junior high dance. Everybody was kind of standing on the sides or, or sitting on the couch and there was this really awkward porn playing on the TV.

It was, it was really weird. There was like multiple TVs, lots of porn, no music, and nobody was talking to one another. Nobody was socializing. No one was making introductions. There was somebody in the kitchen because it was a two level suite. Then I had a full kitchen. Someone was in the kitchen trying to organize some snacks, which were really, it was like I think it arrived or something like that. It was, it was strange. So there you go. Painting the scene.

This other couple that we met, so to speak, finally arrived or we saw them at the party and we, we kind of walked over to them and like stood in the corner with them because they had their safety in numbers. Right. So here we were kind of awkwardly conversing with them, trying to figure out what our next moves were, what was going to happen. Because at this point, nothing is happening. Yeah. There’s, there is nothing sexy at all about this party. It’s just bizarre. Weird and awkward. And there were a lot of single males there, so not a lot of other couples. Right. So I kept wondering when is the rest of the party showing up? Yeah. Where’s the rest of the lives?

Yes. Right. Thank you. It was very weird. Yeah.

We’re probably there for 20 minutes. It felt like an hour. It felt like hours. Yeah. And then all of a sudden a couple walks in through the door.

Tall. Tall, slender, brunette.

Hip-hugger white jeans that are in a crop top, I remember. So she comes in the door with her partner in tow and she’s just stripping. Taking off her jacket. She starts taking off her top. She goes straight upstairs to the bed. Yeah. I mean, this is like. No conversation just in and up and stripping. Yeah. And we’re like, wow. We’re like, well, what is this? Who is this? Is this a show? Is this entertainment? I don’t understand. Right. First party. Have no idea what’s supposed to happen. Have no idea what’s going to happen. Right. Next thing you know, we all kind of look at each other and go, well, apparently. The party’s upstairs. Something’s going on upstairs.

So we follow and we go up there and of course we’re like huddled together, staying very close to each other, making sure that nothing happens to us.

And this girl is already naked and having sex. Yes.

And the next thing you know, there’s a whole bunch of single guys. Yes. Lining up to also have sex with this woman. Yes.

And then who shows up at the party?

Grandma shows up at the party. Yes. After there was like two, I think there was two couples on the bed. There were two couples on the bed. There was an Asian woman with her partner. They looked a little awkward. Yes. And so they got on the bed, they started to do their thing and then they got off. And so I was like, why are they so awkward? And this other woman is so confident and comfortable. And is this how it’s supposed to be? Right. I don’t know.

So there’s quite a difference between comfort and non-comfort. You could tell how people were. Okay. Yeah. So an older woman is there with her partner. We call her lovingly. We call her grandmother. Right. Because she’s probably in her mid to late 70s at this point. Oh, like now? No, then during the party. Oh, think so?

Seemed like it. No. Anyway. Could be.

Yeah. And that’s a good one. We’ll just leave it at that. And she had an agreement with her husband, what we gathered. We had a conversation with them, very brief conversation where she was there to just have a gang bang as many single men as she wanted. And so all the college guys were lined up and military guys.

And holy shit, grandma was having the time of her life. We were just blown away. She was having so much fun. Oh yeah. And she had some killer calves. Oh yeah. Because her legs were in the air. Yeah, great legs. She was having fun. She was having a lot of fun and I kept looking at her husband and he was just smiling.

He was enjoying just watching her and enjoying her pleasure. And of course there were other, during the lineup, all the guys were standing around the bed, jerking off, which was a little unusual and a little…

We hadn’t experienced that before. No, I wasn’t used to seeing that. I wasn’t used to seeing live sex for crying out loud. No. So not only, I mean, there was just a buffet of firsts in that evening and I thought for sure someone was going to grab us and drag us onto the bed because people were lining up to have activity. And I thought, well, just by being there, does that mean we consent to having activity, social activity also? Right. Because we didn’t know. I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know about consent and negotiation and all that. Right. Which we will get back to with our last story. So bear with us. You got to hang into the end because we’ve got a great, great wrap up for this. The whole room just smelled like sex. Oh yeah. There were legs in the air and we were standing next to each other and there’s this leg waving right next to our heads. And I’m like, oh my God. And the whole time you were just waiting. You’re like, hold on to me. I don’t want to get pulled onto the bed. I was like arm in arm with Ed. I was like, oh.

So that experience, we walked out of there. We stayed probably for a little bit. The same thing kind of happened over and over again. And eventually we were just, I think just overstimulated. We had no idea. We knew we didn’t want to do anything. So we didn’t know what else to do. So we were like, we need to go talk about this. It died down a little bit. I actually wanted to leave a little sooner, but we were kind of trapped in a corner. And then once it started to clear out a little bit, then we went downstairs and more things were continuing in the party and we got in our car. I think people peeled off and went to other hotel rooms. That’s right. They were going to do like an after party at another room. And we were just like.

Our mind was blown. We sat in the car for a good 15, 20 minutes before we even left the parking lot, just trying to decompress everything that we saw. We couldn’t even speak because we were just overwhelmed. It was amazing. Yeah. Yeah. And it was one of those conversations. We were just speechless. Literally. And trying to process what we had seen.

Like, did that just happen? Did we see what we think we saw? Like, and then we were. And of course, while we were there, we weren’t talking. We were just watching. And so like having to like remember what we experienced and have the conversation afterwards, and did you smell the sex? And did you like all the sounds and did you see that thing? And how about that? Yeah. We sat in the car for probably a good half hour, 45 minutes. Just. Oh, you went to a half hour, 45 minutes. I said 20 minutes. It just was crazy. Yes.

So then we, and we, and we never went back. We never did another one. We never went back, but we tried to figure out on our own what the heck happened. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and, and we’ve never seen that ever again. Nothing like that. Right. Never something kind of close. Yeah. We’ve seen similar things, but yes. But yeah.

Oh, and the, we left without, I don’t think we even say goodbye to the other couple. No, I think we just bolted.

Just like ran out. But we did stay in touch and we went to the next event with them. It was a club that was vanilla during the week and swinger on the weekends. Right. And this was a bar, pool hall and hotel all in one. And it had the bar had a stripper pool. There was a stripper pool. Yep. Yep. So we, we had this conversation with them about, Hey, what’s, what’s next? What’s the next club? Actually, I think they had said, we’re going to this party. Would you guys like to go with us? And so we, we’d exchanged information and we showed up at this club and we were a little nervous going in and we show up at, we see them arrive. And so we all go in together. So we’re in a group now four of us. Well, I remember sitting in the car, being very nervous. We re arrived first and I was already having some, some anxiety. Yeah. And I, because I didn’t know what the hell was going to happen, right? Already seen the share your wife thing. And I’m like, is it going to be the same? So I’m really nervous. I’m trying to breathe. I’m trying to, I’m thinking of canceling. I don’t even want to go in, but I rallied and we saw them get out, pull up. We see them get out of their car. We go meet them inside. And if you think she was nervous before, wait till you hear what happens next. My God. So we walk in the door. There’s a podium with a big, massive dude standing there signing people in. Right. So that was like, wow. Okay. Overwhelming. Next thing, you know, the host is coming up to us and saying, thank you for showing up, comment, come with us into the office. We have to do an interview with you before you can go in. Right. Right. And so I was also nervous about like putting down my real name. They want a real name and we’re trying to stay like under the radar. We can, we can provide our fake name. Like they wanted all the real stuff. And I think our IDs also. Yes. And so that was really disconcerting. That doesn’t happen anywhere. Well, actually it does happen at a real club. Sort of. Yeah. This wasn’t a real club though. It was a conversion. So I didn’t really know who these people are. Are they protecting my identity? I don’t know all these questions. So overwhelmed. So we walk into this office. Yes. And this is when all four of us, all four of us, we’re all in this office together with bright fluorescent lights, the female manager and, uh, the big bouncer guy. Yes. And the next thing she says is you need to all strip down before you go in.

And I was like, what?

Everybody kind of looked at each other and said, Huh, why, what does this have to do with going in here? You had the biggest issue of all, um, I’m perfectly happy to just take my clothes off anytime anyone asks. But you for sure were like, I’m already really nervous about this. And now what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. You sprung it on me. It wasn’t anywhere listed. I’m not prepared for this. It’s in a bright fluorescent room. I’m not getting naked in front of one, two, three, four other people. I don’t even know. Right. Let, let alone the bouncer. Right. And, and this couple we just met and I said, I’d be willing to get naked in front of you, the office manager, but not everybody else. And she said, no. Right.

She said, no. And I’m like, why? So now I had all kinds of questions like, so are you afraid I’m wearing a wire? Do you think I’m a cop? I can unbutton my shirt and you could look, I could peel it open. And she’s like, no, you have to get completely disrobed. I’m like, what about just down to my underwear, my bra and pennies? No, you have to get completely naked. And I’m like, what the actual F. Right. I’m like, are there cameras in this room? Like, how do I know you’re not filming me? You’ve got my face. You’ve got my real identity. Now you’re like, what? I’m like, no, everybody. So I think the bouncer left. She negotiated with him to go. Right. And the other two couple, they stripped down. Yep. The woman was a little hesitant, but she eventually did it. You did it. Yep. And I’m like, fuck no, I am not doing it. And so the office manager, she clears everybody, including me, even though I didn’t, I think, I think you did flash your bra. I think I flashed my bra. And that was it. And that was, that was it. Now, of course I’m standing there in my underwear. Yeah. And so she’s, but she made us get completely naked. Maybe I was, maybe my wang was wiggling around. Possible. I mean, it happens. So we all get, they all get dressed and we’d go out the door where the podium is and she’s like, okay, you can go in. And I’m like, fuck it. I’m out of here. I’m like, this is bullshit. I’m like, I’m already, now I’m really traumatized. Yeah. I mean, it, it set the whole night to be weird. I mean, way off. And now knowing what we know now, no club would ever ask you to do that. It is so weird. And we’ve never heard another story like this. So if you’ve heard a story equally as weird or more disturbing, please let us know because we’ve never heard anything like this before. It goes against everything about consent. It goes against everything about privacy. Privacy.

Like why? There’s still no reason for it. We still to this day have no idea why they were asking. We have good, we have good guesses that we’ll tell you about at the end. Yeah. Yeah. We’ll give you a little, little hint. We think, we think we know why they did it. So at the, we’re out at the podium. Now I’m feeling pressure to go in because we met people. We agreed to meet them. They wanted to meet us. They wanted to get to know us and they wanted to go into the club with us. And I am now feeling guilty that I want to leave. Like I want to run. Little conflicted. Yes. And so now I’m letting them down, but I have to honor myself. So I’m like, see ya. Bye. I’m running out of there. Like the place is on fire and I’m like, let’s just get to the car. So we go back to the car. They, they feel bad about me freaking out. And so they hang out in the club. You and I are having a conversation in the car and I’m just losing my shit because I’m like so overwhelmed and, and pissed off because I feel like the manager ruined my perfectly good evening. Yeah. We were nervous to begin with and now you’re angry and nervous. It was, it was definitely not the start to a great night. Like everything at this point is like, I don’t know how we’re going to recover from this. We had, we eventually calmed down, took some deep breaths and said, let’s, let’s go in the worst part. The worst part is over. Theoretically, we hope.

So we go back into the party and we, we get the full experience. We see what it’s, what’s going on. We see the bar, the, the, the, there’s some playrooms upstairs. They’re a little dark. It’s kind of hard to see what’s going on. And it wasn’t on the floor. It wasn’t particularly sexy. No, but there were people having sex and we did get to watch the other couple have sex. They were a little exhibitionist. Yeah. And that was our first kind of experience with, with that, with another couple that we knew personally having watching them have sex in front of us, which was super exciting. It was a little awkward for me watching more live sex fully closed. Yes. Cause I wasn’t participating and it felt like I was just a weird peeping Tom. Yeah. And I would say to kind of characterize that night, there, there, there were spots for us to sit. It was just me feeling a bit awkward. Well, sure.

We, we were kind of overwhelmed by the, at the first party because of the unknown. And then of course the very high sexual tension that was going on. It was just hot and crazy. This one was awkward and angry and, and like violated.

And so the sexy probably wasn’t quite as sexy as it could have been because like everything is all thrown off. It was between fight or flight. Oh yeah. Fuck. This was get the, get the fuck out.

So it, it ended, it ended with kind of a weird feeling where are all the parties going to be like this? Is this going to be, this was the second thing. I mean, this is how our experience started off. We are just like, and, and, and I’m shocked because I’m like, I’ve probably listened to, Oh, I don’t know. A hundred and a hundred episodes of podcasts by then, at least 120 episodes.

That’s like a hundred hours at least. Yeah. And, and none of them, none of them talked about this. Right. And so now I’m feeling like completely unprepared because I went in so feeling like confident. I did all my homework and none of them talked about this and that made me mad. Right. You’re like, Oh my God, how did we get steered so wrong about this whole thing? Like where, what are we doing wrong? What that, what is this shit? Right. Right. And we, I remember just sitting in the car. I think it, cause we had been to that club, I think twice. We’ve, we went back a different time and hoping for a different experience. And it was, it was different, better ish. We, we never really had a good experience at that club and they don’t exist. They, they probably, I think they got shut down about a year, maybe a year and a half after we went and we found out. So this is the, this is where we think what happened and why they did what they did to us, they were being investigated. And we think that they were looking for people who were wearing wires and it either it was a newspaper who was investigating them or it was the police. But because it was a hotel and because they had a fully licensed bar, they were paranoid about losing their liquor license. And for anybody who’s ever had any experience with alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, they don’t fuck around. Yeah. And, oh, and, and ABC, which is the alcohol beverage, beverage and something. I can’t remember what that commission is. Yeah. Alcohol beverage commission.

You will lose your license so fast. And if you are a bar and like, that’s your thing where you have like a DJ and a dance club at night and you get people in there to drink and you can’t serve alcohol anymore. Yeah. Business is dead. They would have been out. Yeah.

So yeah, who knows? We, we talked to other people who had been there before years, decades later or more years later, we talked about and they, they said, oh, wow. We’d never, we’d never had that experience. Right. We, we knew some things were changing with ownership and they were, had some, some issues with being investigated, blah, blah, blah. This is how we learned it, but they’d never had that experience. No. And so it was probably very short lived for like one or two weekends and they stopped doing it. Right. Probably because people were complaining about it. Oh my God. It was so traumatic. It’s because we both look like cops. Yeah.

I guess, I don’t know.

Who knows the perfect, you know, I don’t know, undercover person next door.

Yeah. So needless to say, our first experiences were shit shows. Yes.

Now I will say, and this is for another episode, you’ll want to come back.

We had many other experiences after this and our next experience was if this was like the lowest, this next one was one of our highest experiences and it was fantastic. Is this the one with Marianne? Yes. Oh yeah. Yes. At a, at a glow party and it was off the charts exciting. So we’ll have to do another episode where we talk about that for, for sure. Yes. Because third time is the charm, right? We got to, we got to end on a high note. Although the first, the share your wife was, had some pluses to it. Yeah. It wasn’t a total shit show. No, but yeah. The third one, definitely epic.

Yeah. And I’ll, and it took a long time for that one to ever get matched. Yeah. Yeah. So you, you for sure will want to come back and listen to that episode when we get it done.

So if you want to go on a vacation with us and have a good time, it’s not going to be like that. Yeah. So be sure to check out our website because we’ve got all kinds of vacations that we’re going on. To next year, we’re going on two cruises with Virgin. So you want to be sure to get on those cruises, check out our vacation page on swingeryuniversity.com and don’t forget to do your homework. Be sure to tell a friend and leave us a review and a comment.

Tell us how else they can get ahold of us. I’m glad you asked Phoebe. You can also leave us a voicemail at 9 1 6 5 3 8 0 4 8 2. And we would love to get a call and not just a robo call from spam people, but actual people who want to con converse with this show, or you can contact us at swingeryuniversity.com. There you can send us an email or you can leave us a short message. And if you leave us a short message, it’s totally anonymous. We’ll get your little voice memo and we can include it in the show if you’re interested. Yeah. Ask us a question. We’ll answer it. Tell us your worst experience. Tell us if you’ve ever been strip searched going into a club. Even if there’s rubber gloves involved.

And as we like to say, keep learning, keep growing, and keep it sexy.