What REALLY Happens at Swinger Parties: The Honest Truth

[Phoebe] Hi everyone, thanks for coming to class.[Unknown] This is Ed.[Phoebe] And this is Phoebe.[Phoebe] In today's course, we are going to talk about[Phoebe] dipping into your first swinger event.[Phoebe] We will cover cost, boundaries, intent, goals,[Phoebe] reconnecting, and that afterglow.[Ed] My favorite.[Phoebe] Attending your first swing event can be terrifying,[Phoebe] exciting, and fun.[Phoebe] You will learn more about yourself and each other[Phoebe] with each swinger event.[Phoebe] So, come inside.[Unknown] It's class time.[Phoebe] All right Ed, how are you doing?[Ed] I'm feeling all right.[Phoebe] Ed's got a summer cold.[Ed] That's a friend of Orgy.[Phoebe] I know, tired of him blowing his nose.[Ed] I'm tired of blowing my nose.[Ed] So yeah, we've done a lot of episodes up to this point.[Ed] We're on number 11 now.[Ed] We've talked about all kinds of stuff,[Ed] building profiles, and talking to people.[Phoebe] And now, let's get to the party.[Phoebe] Get to the party.[Phoebe] Like everything in life, the good things cost money.[Phoebe] I know.[Unknown] Oh my god.[Phoebe] It's not a cheap hobby, as I like to say.[Phoebe] A lot of people call it a lifestyle.[Phoebe] You can call it that, but it is our hobby.[Unknown] Although lately, the hobbies probably[Phoebe] turn more into a lifestyle, because we're doing it more often.[Ed] Yeah, and we've got this whole podcast thing going too.[Ed] So this is what the more of a lifestyle is.[Unknown] So there goes our argument.[Phoebe] But I was very specific in the beginning.[Phoebe] It's a hobby.[Phoebe] It's not a lifestyle.[Ed] And like all hobbies, they cost money.[Ed] So yeah, let's talk a little bit about cost.[Phoebe] Not cheap.[Phoebe] So if you are in an area where you've got a club like in Florida,[Phoebe] there's a club called Tripese.[Ed] And there's clubs all over the place.[Phoebe] Yes.[Ed] But what we've decided to do is give you some costs[Ed] in various places around the country[Ed] to give you an idea.[Unknown] Exactly.[Ed] So continue with Tripese.[Phoebe] Tripese.[Phoebe] We went down there.[Phoebe] We were on a swing or cruise.[Phoebe] So of course, while we were there,[Phoebe] we decided to check out this club.[Ed] When in Florida.[Phoebe] Right?[Phoebe] I'm there.[Unknown] Have to check it out.[Ed] Yeah, and like a lot of clubs in a lot of different states,[Ed] they actually require a membership in addition[Ed] to the cover charge.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] They do that for legal reasons.[Ed] Because if it's a private club, then they[Ed] can't get rated by the police, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.[Ed] So.[Phoebe] And they don't serve alcohol.[Phoebe] You bring your own alcohol.[Phoebe] They put a number on it.[Phoebe] You're tagged with your number.[Phoebe] It's all kept behind the bars.[Phoebe] Exactly.[Phoebe] All great.[Ed] Tripese for a two-month membership is $50.[Ed] And if you happen to want to go on a Saturday night,[Phoebe] they'll be an $80 cover charge for that night.[Ed] So the night that we went, it cost us $80 and $50.[Ed] So not an inexpensive evening, but if you're plus your alcohol.[Ed] If you live in the area, it's great.[Ed] You do dinner at home.[Ed] And then this is like a night out on the town.[Ed] So you can kind of do it two for one.[Ed] Oh, and they serve food.[Ed] So it's actually a little bit better than a lot of places.[Ed] Because there was a whole buffet and a dessert.[Phoebe] And their food was great.[Ed] There were some great food there.[Phoebe] I was surprised.[Phoebe] Compared to the other places that we've been, yeah.[Ed] Right.[Ed] We're intended to be cheese and crackers and some hot snacks.[Ed] So the other part of that is if you happen to live in the area[Ed] and you want to go frequently,[Ed] they do have a one-year membership for $300.[Ed] We're not pushing trapeze.[Ed] We're just giving you some numbers.[Ed] Now, West Coast, San Francisco,[Ed] there is another club that we've attended once called Twist.[Ed] Great club.[Ed] We had a lot of fun.[Ed] We went there on Christmas Eve.[Phoebe] I know.[Ed] That was a Merry Christmas to you.[Ed] And that was a $90 charge for the two of us to get in.[Ed] Now, if you're a single male,[Ed] you can double or triple most of these costs.[Ed] If you're a single female, sometimes it's free.[Phoebe] Yes.[Phoebe] It's very inexpensive for a single female.[Unknown] We want you to come and arrive at the club, too.[Phoebe] The other type of events you may find in your area[Phoebe] are events held at hotels.[Phoebe] In our area, for example,[Phoebe] there are events four times a year at a hotel.[Phoebe] They're very upscale.[Phoebe] It's a nightclub setting, lighting, boom, boom, boom,[Phoebe] room, SNM room.[Phoebe] It's security.[Phoebe] It's awesome.[Unknown] Yeah.[Phoebe] And to get into those events,[Phoebe] you will pay anywhere from $50 to $80 a couple.[Phoebe] Same price, I think, for a single male.[Phoebe] $10 to $25 for a single female.[Phoebe] Non-members, $60 a couple, $20 for a single female.[Phoebe] Plus, the prices are going to go up as you get closer to the event.[Ed] Right.[Phoebe] And these prices, I believe, also vary a little based on[Phoebe] whether it's Halloween or New Year's[Phoebe] because those are very popular events.[Phoebe] Now, at a house party,[Phoebe] you can expect to pay $40, $60 a couple.[Ed] Yeah, so we show up at the door,[Ed] and hand them a little bit of cash,[Ed] and you're into the party.[Ed] And the house parties that we've been to,[Ed] there's typically food.[Ed] They typically serve alcohol as well.[Ed] It's somebody's house.[Ed] They're throwing a chindig for 40 to 120[Ed] of their closest friends.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] So, in addition to all that cost, ladies,[Phoebe] you have the clothing of the sexy outfit[Phoebe] that you want to wear.[Phoebe] You've got your hair done.[Phoebe] You've got your nails done.[Phoebe] You may have waxing done.[Unknown] Maybe you tan or spray tan.[Phoebe] And maybe you're trying to get your game on,[Phoebe] and you decided, I'm going to get my body back into shape.[Phoebe] And now you've got a gym membership.[Phoebe] So, things start to add up.[Unknown] Click, click, click.[Ed] To the other costs that you're going to encounter,[Ed] if you are at a hotel takeover,[Ed] you're probably going to want to spend the night.[Ed] And I say that for two reasons.[Ed] One, if you're drinking,[Ed] you're going to have to take an Uber home,[Ed] or you're going to spend the night there.[Unknown] Now, the second reason that you want to spend the night,[Ed] is a lot of times the party continues[Ed] long after the last call.[Ed] And we've had plenty of after parties[Ed] that have been as fun if not more fun than the main party.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] You meet people out on the dance floor.[Ed] You exchange room numbers and they invite you back[Ed] and all kinds of heck breaks loose.[Ed] It's great.[Phoebe] Yeah, it's awesome.[Phoebe] You make all kinds of great connections.[Phoebe] People don't always want to play in the playroom,[Phoebe] but they're like, hey, we really love you.[Phoebe] We think you gel with this other group of friends[Phoebe] that we have going on in an after party.[Unknown] Come on up to room 69.[Ed] All right.[Ed] We need your help so that your community,[Ed] the very one you love and have so much fun with,[Ed] can also find our show.[Ed] Here's a really easy way to do that.[Ed] If you're listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify,[Ed] hit that follow button and leave us a rating.[Ed] If you're watching on YouTube, subscribe[Ed] and turn on notifications.[Ed] We can't emphasize enough how much this helps[Ed] the Swinger community and it truly is up to you[Ed] to make that happen.[Ed] It makes a massive difference[Ed] in whether new listeners can even find us.[Ed] And here's the thing.[Ed] When someone searches Swinger Podcasts,[Ed] the algorithm doesn't care how good our content is[Ed] or how long we've been around.[Ed] It only cares about ratings and reviews.[Ed] We'd appreciate it.[Ed] And your community will really appreciate it.[Unknown] Thanks for listening.[Ed] And as you heard in our last episode,[Ed] that can benefit you in a whole bunch of ways.[Ed] You can make some long term friends[Ed] and have all kinds of fun long after the event.[Ed] Now you could factor in your time,[Ed] going to any event and hotel.[Ed] You know, if you've got to take time off work,[Ed] depends on what your schedule is.[Ed] Some people work weekends.[Ed] There's a lot of things like that[Ed] that you'll have to consider.[Phoebe] We did run into people, yes, time off work, yep.[Ed] And for us living in the valley[Ed] and traveling into San Francisco,[Ed] we have to get a hotel room because it's too far.[Ed] Two hours each way, it's just not convenient.[Phoebe] And we've got little ones.[Ed] If you've got little ones, you may have to pay a sitter.[Ed] And I have no idea what the going rate[Ed] for babysitters are.[Phoebe] I think it's at least minimum wage right now.[Ed] It's probably more than that.[Ed] I suspect most of the time,[Ed] sitters are CPR trained, all kinds of crazy, whatever.[Ed] But that's for you and good luck with that.[Ed] Now, here's a really important thing.[Ed] You've got an image of what you want to happen.[Ed] So you have expectations already in your head[Ed] for going into this party.[Ed] The trick is reality is usually different[Ed] than what your expectations are.[Unknown] Oh yeah.[Ed] And we suffered from this early on[Ed] and I would fully admit that most of our early party problems[Ed] were completely because of our expectations.[Phoebe] Right, and we knew, I mean, we knew not to have them.[Phoebe] It's just so difficult to not have them.[Phoebe] You will have them because based on, it's just natural.[Phoebe] Based on your life experiences, what you've heard,[Phoebe] it's hard not to make assumptions.[Phoebe] I feel like it's this innate thing[Phoebe] that protects you for like what you're gonna walk into.[Ed] Absolutely.[Phoebe] So it's normal and it's natural.[Phoebe] Just try not to set the bar too high.[Ed] Yeah, and we just talked about cost.[Ed] You just spent a 140 bucks to get into a place.[Phoebe] You know, God damn it.[Phoebe] I'm gonna get laid.[Ed] At least, you know, that's what you have in your head.[Ed] You're like, I'm going to a swing or event.[Unknown] I want a swing, but it doesn't always work out that way.[Phoebe] No, no.[Ed] Because the lifestyle is so fluid, people are fluid.[Ed] Sexuality is fluid.[Ed] I mean, everybody who's listening to this has had a night[Ed] where you're like, you know, normally I'm okay[Ed] with fucking every night.[Ed] But tonight, you know, I'm just not really into it.[Ed] It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes it does.[Ed] Everybody in the room is going through the exact same thing.[Ed] It's an off night.[Ed] They had a hard time at work.[Phoebe] They drank too much.[Ed] They planned for this party.[Phoebe] They ate something bad.[Ed] Yeah, they hoped it was gonna be a great event,[Ed] but it's not going well for them.[Ed] And that happens to be the couple that you're talking to.[Guest] It can happen.[Ed] So managing expectations is kind of important.[Ed] And I like to think of it as it's kind of like[Ed] watching the movie trailer.[Ed] You can expect that it's going to be the greatest movie[Ed] that you've ever seen.[Ed] But, you know, it's often safer to just go in going,[Ed] you know, it might be okay.[Ed] I'm trying to keep my expectations low,[Ed] so I'm not disappointed.[Ed] Lifestyle events the exact same way.[Unknown] Don't expect everything that you see in the trailers.[Ed] Some people will actually have sex at the event.[Ed] Some, a lot of people don't.[Ed] We happen to be the couple that likes having sex[Ed] at every event if we can.[Ed] But there are a lot of people who are new[Ed] and they're just not comfortable.[Ed] They're not there yet.[Ed] So your expectations may not match up with theirs.[Ed] Some of the examples of expectations matching up,[Ed] they may be soft, you may be full or vice versa.[Ed] The woman may or may not be bisexual.[Ed] So if your wife's looking to have sex with a woman,[Ed] it may not happen.[Ed] We have actually met straight women before at events.[Ed] And they're really only interested in swapping[Ed] with the husband and it's not going to be[Phoebe] everybody having fun with everybody else.[Ed] Which brings us to a story.[Phoebe] Dun, dun, dun.[Phoebe] Our first event.[Ed] We thought it was fitting talking about your first event[Ed] and what you can expect to our first event[Ed] and what, well, what we expected and what,[Ed] oh my God, what the hell happened.[Phoebe] I think you should tell it because you're a good storyteller.[Unknown] All right, I love this story, too.[Ed] I know.[Ed] This is a great story.[Ed] So we'd been to a couple different events previously,[Ed] so to speak.[Ed] We went to one event where we decided to just watch[Ed] and it was a really awkward event.[Ed] But we went and we just watched.[Ed] So it was one of those things before we'd even decided[Ed] that we were, quote, in the lifestyle.[Unknown] I know.[Ed] And it was a crazy event.[Unknown] Oh yeah.[Ed] But we're not going to talk about that story.[Guest] Okay, we'll talk about it.[Ed] It is the first event where we're like, yes,[Unknown] we're pretty sure we want to be swingers, let's try it.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] Let's see what happens.[Ed] So we went to a glow party and it was a hotel takeover.[Ed] And we got there and holy crap.[Ed] The place was off the hook.[Ed] Everybody was dressed up.[Ed] The music was great.[Ed] Everybody was having a great time.[Ed] Oh yeah.[Ed] The play rooms were up on like the eighth floor.[Unknown] I'm making a number up.[Ed] And it was two rooms that were adjoining each other[Ed] and they'd open the doors between them.[Ed] And so there were two beds, two queens in each room.[Unknown] Well, we liked to fuck.[Ed] So we decided to just start.[Ed] And there was a bunch of people in the room.[Ed] Actually, there were a few people in the room.[Phoebe] Yes, a few.[Ed] Not many.[Ed] So I started going down on Phoebe and it was delicious[Ed] as always.[Ed] And the next thing you know,[Ed] there's this sexy brunette that decides[Ed] that she wants to play too.[Ed] And so she asks if she can start fondling Phoebe's breasts.[Ed] So she client, and of course we say yes.[Ed] I mean, who, like, yes.[Ed] So she climbs up on the bed behind Phoebe[Ed] has her head in her lap and is massaging[Ed] and playing with her breasts while I'm dining at the Y.[Ed] Well, next thing you know,[Ed] things are starting to heat up.[Ed] People start removing clothes.[Ed] We're having more and more fun.[Ed] And more people start coming into the room.[Ed] So this kind of set the bar for us[Ed] because we've decided ever since then[Ed] that we pretty much start the party[Ed] and then the party kicks up as soon as we start going.[Ed] It would be great.[Ed] So here we are.[Ed] We're playing with each other[Ed] and there's a couple sitting in a chair.[Unknown] Oh.[Ed] She's going down on him.[Ed] Yeah, Mary.[Phoebe] We call them Mary Ann and…[Ed] We didn't have a name for him.[Phoebe] But she's Mary Ann.[Phoebe] We have no idea what her name is,[Phoebe] but she looked like a Mary Ann.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] And we were really interested in Mary Ann at the time.[Phoebe] I know. We've never seen a show.[Ed] Super cute.[Ed] So they're having their little fun time[Ed] in a lounge chair.[Ed] We're on the bed[Ed] and we've all made eye contact with each other.[Ed] Totally nonverbal communication.[Ed] All just them looking at us, us looking at them[Ed] and at some point, somebody like[Ed] Winks, nods, shakes the eyebrows.[Ed] I can't remember exactly what it was,[Unknown] but it was one of those…[Ed] You can come over, please.[Ed] Next thing you know, she's on me,[Ed] Phoebe's on him and it's full on soft swap.[Ed] And she's soft and wet[Unknown] and she's enjoying me and Phoebe's mostly enjoying her man.[Ed] She was very enthusiastic at the time.[Ed] It was hard to tell that she wasn't really interested,[Unknown] but it was great.[Ed] Okay, so we went from two to three.[Ed] Now we're up to five.[Phoebe] Okay, when did we get to eight?[Phoebe] Cause there was eight or ten.[Ed] Well, so gradually more and more people start joining in.[Ed] We stand up and it's like a circle[Ed] of blow jobs and hand jobs[Ed] and all kinds of crazy stuff going on.[Phoebe] It's the ultimate Roman orgy in this…[Ed] Of soft swap.[Phoebe] It wasn't even soft.[Phoebe] Yeah, it was this fluid, barely spoken.[Phoebe] All harmonious, just amazing euphoric.[Ed] So there you go.[Ed] Oh yeah.[Ed] Our first swapping experience and it was a level 11.[Phoebe] Oh God, yeah.[Ed] In terms of soft swap.[Ed] It was great.[Ed] And in terms of euphoria, we talked about that for months.[Ed] Well, we're still talking about it years later.[Ed] So obviously it had an impact on us.[Ed] But that's part of this portion of the podcast[Ed] set the bar really high.[Ed] Because every event after that had to live up to that.[Phoebe] Oh, are you telling them to set the bar high?[Phoebe] Cause they need to set it low.[Ed] No, I'm saying it set the bar high for us.[Phoebe] Oh, ours set the bar high.[Phoebe] Oh yeah.[Phoebe] That event was amazing.[Ed] And many parties after that, we were like,[Unknown] wait, what happened to the lab?[Phoebe] Where are the people at?[Phoebe] Where'd everybody go?[Ed] And that's where we learn to manage our expectations[Ed] because it's not like that every single time.[Ed] It may never be like that for some people, right?[Ed] That will be very sad and I have pity for those people.[Unknown] But you can make things like that happen[Ed] if you go in with an open mind[Unknown] and you meet some good people and there you go.[Ed] So set your expectations appropriately for the event.[Ed] We went in with low expectations.[Ed] We ended up being literally blown away.[Unknown] All right.[Phoebe] You will run into people that I,[Phoebe] I call them people that want to get their sexy time on.[Phoebe] They're, they're watchers, they're warriors.[Unknown] They're, they're not swingers per se.[Phoebe] They're not there to swap or even soft swap,[Phoebe] but they want to be in that fun, sexy environment.[Phoebe] It's exciting to wear sexy clothes[Phoebe] and not have someone groping you inappropriately.[Phoebe] It's fun to be able to express yourself in that way.[Phoebe] It's fun to be able to watch people have sex[Phoebe] and not have any expectations.[Phoebe] And yes, Mr. Ed.[Ed] Well, and I was gonna say the other thing[Ed] that's really important about this[Ed] is swingers are very nice people.[Phoebe] Oh, yeah.[Ed] Really, really nice people.[Ed] And we've found a number of people[Ed] who just enjoy the non-judgmental environment.[Unknown] So, you know, a heavy set people[Ed] who wouldn't wear these clothes in normal life[Ed] will wear, you know, super skimpy clothes.[Ed] Why?[Ed] Because no one's gonna say anything about it[Ed] because it's like, you know, you do you.[Phoebe] Yeah, it's this thing.[Phoebe] It's all okay.[Phoebe] It's freedom of expression.[Phoebe] It's just wonderful.[Unknown] People are very, very lovely.[Ed] People let their hair down[Ed] and they're having a good time[Ed] because everybody is just really open-minded.[Ed] And there's something there for everybody.[Ed] So, I'm gonna take by my previous comment[Ed] that everybody's heavy said,[Ed] everybody comes in all shapes and sizes.[Ed] Absolutely.[Ed] And it's great.[Ed] Mm-hmm.[Ed] And everybody's really nice.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] So, you need to kind of,[Unknown] for a lack of a better word, weed through,[Phoebe] you know, who's a swinger, who's not.[Phoebe] Right.[Phoebe] Conversations become really important[Phoebe] because some people are there for different reasons.[Phoebe] You can't expect that they're all there[Phoebe] for the same reason.[Phoebe] Yes, some people are there just to get their party on.[Phoebe] They just wanna drink and party.[Phoebe] Maybe they take some X or a pair of water,[Phoebe] whatever their thing is.[Unknown] We've run into that a lot and they dance.[Phoebe] They dance their pants off[Phoebe] and they're having a good time.[Phoebe] That's all they wanna do, right?[Ed] They wanna wear skimpy clothes, dance around,[Ed] and just have sexy good times.[Phoebe] Yeah, it's great.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] But that was confusing for us in the beginning[Phoebe] because we just assumed everyone was a swinger,[Phoebe] but that's not the case.[Ed] Yeah, we made a lot of assumptions when we went in.[Ed] We found out the converse.[Ed] And, you know, it's a great environment.[Ed] And even if you're not up for playing the first time[Ed] you go, go.[Ed] Yeah.[Ed] Just go and have a good time[Ed] because you're gonna see things[Ed] that you've never seen before.[Unknown] And I encourage everybody to just go watch.[Phoebe] Oh, yeah.[Phoebe] Go have a good time.[Phoebe] Your first five events just go and watch.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] Don't wait five events, but go and watch.[Phoebe] Being okay with spontaneous versus planned,[Unknown] that's very important.[Ed] Here's why we sail on Virgin.[Ed] It's adults only.[Ed] No kids screaming at breakfast, no family buffet lines.[Unknown] Just champagne at noon, late night pool parties,[Ed] and people who actually want to be there.[Unknown] The vibe?[Ed] Think boutique hotel that happens to float.[Ed] Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants[Ed] you'd actually pay for on land.[Ed] Plus, when you're looking to connect with other couples[Ed] who know how to have fun,[Ed] let's just say Virgin attracts[Ed] a very specific type of adventurous.[Unknown] No wonder bread cruisers here, just your people.[Ed] We tend to find at events[Ed] that these spontaneous encounters[Ed] work really well for us.[Ed] We've had some of our best experiences[Ed] with just the spontaneous stuff.[Phoebe] Yes.[Phoebe] Plan dates, not so much.[Phoebe] It's just, I don't know.[Ed] It's a lot of work.[Ed] And you set up with a whole bunch of work.[Ed] Once again, expectations, right?[Ed] You put it all this time.[Phoebe] Communicating back and forth.[Phoebe] Communicating back and forth.[Phoebe] Foto, you finally give them your phone number[Ed] because you're terrified that there's some crazy person.[Ed] You figure out, okay, they're probably okay.[Phoebe] You go to the restaurants or the bar or to their house.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] And you find out, it's just not a match.[Ed] They're boring or you don't get along[Phoebe] or they look like my dad.[Ed] They've got some annoying trait.[Phoebe] And was so disappointed.[Phoebe] I was disappointed too.[Phoebe] The wife was incredibly gorgeous,[Phoebe] but I couldn't get past the guy[Phoebe] because he looked like my dad and I'm sorry.[Ed] Yeah.[Phoebe] I'm not gonna fuck my dad.[Ed] That was tragic.[Phoebe] I know.[Ed] Very tragic.[Phoebe] I know it says.[Ed] But it happens.[Phoebe] It does, it happens.[Ed] That's why we like the spontaneous stuff[Ed] because you kind of meet them for the first time.[Ed] You hit it off and that's why these events[Ed] are really good for trying it out.[Phoebe] Because you're interacting with three to 800 people.[Ed] Yeah, target rich environment.[Ed] You got lots of people to choose from[Unknown] and you can play the room and just meet everyone there[Unknown] and somebody is gonna click.[Ed] Somebody is going to push your button.[Ed] Exactly.[Ed] Or all of your buttons.[Unknown] What else said?[Ed] Well, unfortunately, even having a great connection[Ed] with someone, even playing with someone[Ed] for the first time doesn't necessarily mean[Ed] that you're gonna continue playing with them.[Ed] So kind of think of these events as a tryout,[Ed] an opportunity to see whether you mash or not.[Ed] But there's no commitment here.[Ed] I mean, you can decide later that, yeah, that was fun,[Ed] but I'm not really interested in playing with them again.[Ed] And that will come up.[Ed] So keep that in mind.[Unknown] Okay.[Phoebe] Setting boundaries.[Phoebe] This is really important.[Phoebe] Decide how hard or firm your boundaries are.[Unknown] We, well, let's see.[Phoebe] Let's give them an example of some boundaries[Phoebe] that most people set.[Ed] A lot of times people will say that they're same bed only.[Ed] The first time.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] Say with your partner and you're just gonna play[Ed] on a bed next to somebody else,[Unknown] or even better yet, more safe.[Ed] You're just gonna play.[Ed] You're gonna go to the lawyer room.[Ed] You're gonna play on a bed all by yourselves[Ed] and just have people watch you.[Phoebe] Absolutely.[Unknown] Yeah.[Ed] That's a lot of fun.[Unknown] And it's really safe because you know your wife[Ed] or your partner and it's all good.[Ed] Nobody's crossing any lines.[Ed] There's no jealousy involved.[Unknown] It's just the two of you.[Ed] And it's hot as hell having an entire room[Ed] of people watching you have sex.[Ed] Right.[Phoebe] That's great.[Phoebe] Or watching other people have sex.[Phoebe] I mean, it is a lot of visual stimulation to process.[Ed] Live porn.[Phoebe] It's nothing like porn.[Phoebe] Right.[Phoebe] It's 10 times better.[Phoebe] It is a lot to process.[Ed] There's sounds and sights and smells and everything.[Ed] It's all right there.[Phoebe] Oh my gosh, it's overwhelming.[Phoebe] I was always overwhelmed.[Ed] So go into it with some boundary setting.[Ed] Almost every couple has some kind of rules[Ed] that they have imagined in their mind that,[Ed] okay, this is my line.[Ed] I'd be okay with everything up to this point.[Ed] Now what we found is in the heat of the moment,[Ed] you set these rules up because you expect[Ed] to understand how you're going to feel.[Unknown] When you're actually doing it, it doesn't feel the same.[Unknown] Yeah.[Ed] And you'll find out, you're totally different example.[Ed] You're scared to death of heights and you decide,[Ed] I'm never gonna try skydiving.[Ed] Oh yeah.[Ed] And then next thing, you know, you got to parachute[Ed] on your back and you're jumping out of a plane[Unknown] and you're like, you know what?[Ed] That was a hell of a lot of fun.[Ed] I didn't think I was gonna like it,[Ed] but I knew I had to do it because it was on my bucket list.[Ed] Okay.[Ed] So now you're at a lifestyle event[Ed] and you guys have said just us on the bed,[Ed] people are watching and the next thing you know,[Ed] you're surrounded by 10 other couples having sex[Unknown] and somebody decides to join you and you're like,[Ed] oh my God, they're really hot and you look at your wife[Ed] and you're like, are you okay with this?[Ed] And she's like, oh yeah, he's hot.[Ed] Yes, please.[Ed] And the next thing you know, you're on the same bed[Ed] as another couple.[Ed] Well, and one thing leads to another,[Ed] you're touching each other.[Unknown] And even if it's just as simple as holding hands[Ed] or caressing somebody's hair, it's intense.[Ed] But it's a small boundary that you kind of wash over gently[Ed] and everybody's on board.[Phoebe] And I will say, I was very afraid of having these conversations[Phoebe] with you in front of people.[Phoebe] They're very small sentences.[Phoebe] I'm saying conversations.[Phoebe] It's a small sentence, are you okay?[Phoebe] And what I found is as we've been through the lifestyle[Phoebe] and we've had these conversations,[Phoebe] everyone does this.[Ed] Absolutely.[Phoebe] And everyone expects it.[Phoebe] So it's not weird or uncomfortable and they expect[Phoebe] and sometimes we will say to you,[Phoebe] where I've heard people say to other couples,[Phoebe] are you all right?[Phoebe] Actually, I've done this with other women.[Unknown] Yes.[Phoebe] I can see another woman's face and I know that look[Phoebe] and I go, hmm, she doesn't look very comfortable.[Phoebe] And I will be her protector and I'll go,[Phoebe] hey, are you all right?[Phoebe] You know, she's with some other guy[Phoebe] we're playing on the bed, I don't know.[Phoebe] And she's like, hmm, no.[Phoebe] And I will be her voice for her.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] I will step in if she wants to give me that power.[Phoebe] But it's rare people have,[Phoebe] I know I'm getting a little off topic,[Phoebe] but having that conversation, it's safe in that moment.[Phoebe] It's not strange.[Ed] And you absolutely need to have that conversation[Ed] if you need to have that conversation.[Phoebe] And it's okay.[Ed] And everybody will understand.[Phoebe] They will, they do.[Ed] So you can have boundaries,[Ed] understand that in the heat of the moment[Ed] and I'm not talking like you get over enthusiastic[Ed] and go full swap on the first time.[Unknown] That's not talking about extending boundaries[Ed] or pushing boundaries.[Ed] That's bulldozing over them and you're in the next county.[Ed] We're not talking about that.[Phoebe] No, no, no, no.[Ed] Because there are couples that were like,[Ed] we agreed that there was only gonna be this[Ed] and then you went and you stuck your dick in her.[Phoebe] Oh yeah, that one there was weird.[Ed] That's not what we're talking about.[Phoebe] Drama, yeah.[Ed] It's, no.[Ed] Those subtle changes where you're like,[Ed] you know, I didn't think I was gonna be comfortable with this,[Ed] but you know what, watching,[Ed] now I'm okay with it.[Ed] Because it's not as scary as I thought it was gonna be.[Unknown] Yeah.[Phoebe] I didn't think I'd like a woman sucking my nipples[Phoebe] but I kind of enjoyed it.[Ed] To, you know.[Ed] I think you did.[Ed] Now, not all couples have boundaries.[Ed] Some couples we've met are so comfortable with each other[Ed] that they're like, no, yeah,[Ed] we pretty much don't have any rules.[Unknown] Never have had any rules because of whatever reason.[Ed] I mean, they were either together forever[Ed] and they were like, no, we're experimental, we're carefree.[Ed] We just said, no, why have rules?[Ed] That's silly.[Phoebe] Oh yeah, yes.[Phoebe] We ran into that couple.[Phoebe] Yes.[Ed] We did.[Unknown] We had that couple over and had sex with them.[Phoebe] I was trying to be discreet but I just threw it out there.[Ed] Yep, I just threw it right down on the bed.[Unknown] Okay.[Phoebe] Down on the bed.[Ed] Here is our advice.[Ed] Have a goal.[Phoebe] Oh yes.[Ed] So when you're going to an event,[Ed] talk about it ahead of time and decide[Ed] on a goal for the evening.[Ed] If you're waiting for something to happen,[Ed] if you're a wallflower, guess what?[Ed] You're going to be bored.[Ed] You're going to be ignored.[Ed] And you're going to be really, really disappointed[Ed] because you just spent 140 bucks to listen to the music[Ed] and you were a swing club[Ed] and everybody else was having fun except for you.[Phoebe] And you can go to the airport for that.[Ed] Yeah, you want to listen to music?[Phoebe] And people watch, go to the airport.[Ed] Heck, you can go to a nightclub for $20 cover charge[Ed] and it's a lot cheaper and you can have[Ed] the same exact experience.[Ed] So don't do that to yourself.[Phoebe] Yeah.[Ed] Here's the first goal that I recommend.[Unknown] And the reason I recommend this is it breaks the ice.[Ed] It gets you past that fear of rejection.[Ed] Go introduce yourselves to at least three couples.[Unknown] At least three.[Ed] Because the first one,[Ed] they may be the people that you want to pull the rip cord on[Guest] and run away or they may not be.[Ed] The first couple you go and introduce yourselves to,[Ed] you may end up playing with that night.[Ed] You never know.[Unknown] Yeah.[Ed] And we found after we'd been in the lifestyle[Ed] for a year or two where we finally figured[Ed] that stupid thing out and every party after that was amazing.[Phoebe] Yes, because we're wall flowers.[Phoebe] We are traditionally introverts.[Phoebe] We have grown to be amnaverts.[Phoebe] I think that's how you say it.[Unknown] Amnaverts, it's a, you're an introvert[Phoebe] but you learn how to be an extrovert.[Phoebe] And we had to push those boundaries[Phoebe] and we had to become comfortable.[Ed] And it's benefited us like.[Phoebe] Absolutely.[Ed] Like nothing else that we've tried.[Phoebe] And we padded ourselves on the back afterwards for doing[Ed] it was like high five, we accomplished our goal.[Ed] We accomplished our goal.[Ed] You can also set other goals that are a little simpler[Ed] although I recommend that goal in addition[Ed] to any of the other ones that I'm listening here.[Ed] Watch only.[Ed] If this is your first event, you've never done it before.[Ed] And watch, that was our first goal.[Ed] And it was great because at the end of that night[Ed] nobody crossed any boundaries,[Ed] nobody had made anybody feel uncomfortable[Ed] and we got to watch people fucking a foot in front of us.[Ed] And we left that party, horny as hell, and blown away.[Phoebe] I still remember that party.[Phoebe] Detail by detail by detail.[Ed] Absolute, so you can have a great time[Ed] just going and watching.[Ed] Don't leave it at that.[Ed] You can go pass that but for your first event,[Ed] that's a great goal.[Unknown] Absolutely.[Ed] The other one, which we mentioned earlier,[Ed] play by yourselves.[Ed] You can do that in a play room.[Unknown] You can do it in your hotel, any number of situations[Ed] or circumstances.[Phoebe] Right, try out the different rooms[Phoebe] that they may have set up at the hotel[Phoebe] or if you're on a cruise, they'll frequently do a theme room[Phoebe] and SNM room.[Unknown] Yeah.[Phoebe] If it sounds weird or creepy,[Phoebe] I'll set that aside, just go and watch.[Unknown] You never really, I mean, you may find[Phoebe] you're really interested in it.[Phoebe] Right.[Phoebe] It's just a different kind of kink.[Phoebe] It's fun, it's fascinating, it's interesting.[Ed] Yeah, exactly.[Unknown] And that's part of this experimental thing.[Ed] It's opening yourself up to two experiences.[Phoebe] Everything, yeah.[Ed] So you're running around the room and you're talking to people.[Ed] Do do do do do, ask questions.[Ed] So here's three really good questions[Ed] that you can have with it.[Ed] Annie Swinger Couple.[Phoebe] Hi Ed, I'm Phoebe.[Phoebe] How long have you been in the lifestyle?[Ed] Not nearly long enough.[Phoebe] Well, Ed, how many of these have you attended?[Ed] Lots.[Unknown] Oh.[Phoebe] Well, have you ever been to any house parties?[Unknown] Do you have any that you like?[Ed] And these are great questions to start off with.[Ed] And you can ask others that are similar to this[Ed] have you ever been on a lifestyle cruise,[Ed] if you've been to any of the destination resorts?[Ed] These are great because you get more information[Ed] about all these different things.[Ed] And these are our questions still[Ed] because we haven't been to desire.[Ed] We haven't been to keto.[Ed] And we want to know.[Phoebe] And there's sexy questions that aren't[Phoebe] talking about your kids.[Phoebe] They're questions that aren't getting into more[Phoebe] of your personal life about your job[Phoebe] that people want to keep that anonymity.[Phoebe] So these are perfect questions to start off with.[Ed] They're also really good questions[Ed] because they remind people of those sexy events[Ed] that they've been to before.[Ed] So you're setting people's minds up[Ed] to recall all of those sexy thoughts that they'd had before.[Phoebe] Oh, you are smart Ed.[Ed] I know.[Ed] And I'm dirty and I think of all kinds of ways[Ed] to get people in bed.[Phoebe] Psychologically getting into their mind.[Unknown] Exactly.[Ed] Work it.[Ed] Speaking of working it.[Phoebe] Yes.[Ed] Work the room.[Phoebe] Da, da, da.[Ed] So you got to meet three couples.[Ed] How do you do it?[Ed] Well, you walk around.[Phoebe] Absolutely.[Ed] Don't sit down.[Ed] Nope.[Ed] Except for with those stupid shoes that you love.[Ed] I know.[Ed] But women always wear that are like five minute shoes.[Unknown] Right.[Ed] Try not to wear those.[Ed] Try not to wear those.[Ed] Wear something that's comfortable[Ed] so that you can actually walk around or dance and not[Unknown] be in pain because, well, unless you're into that,[Ed] it's not sexy.[Guest] Oh, if you're into it, then it's really sexy[Ed] and wear those horribly painful shoes[Ed] if that's your thing.[Ed] Although, I don't think, I think even SNM people[Ed] draw the line at painful shoes.[Unknown] I mean, you, I don't know.[Phoebe] I've never, I've never seen that in the SNM room.[Ed] But those shoes, I don't know.[Phoebe] That's a new thing.[Phoebe] Maybe we have to start that.[Ed] Maybe it's a thing.[Unknown] Foot bondage.[Ed] Foot binding?[Phoebe] I think there's gotta be a kink for foot binding.[Ed] There probably is.[Unknown] All right.[Phoebe] The last, well, not the last, but at the last event,[Phoebe] we started targeting people that were standing.[Phoebe] It was just easier.[Phoebe] It was less.[Ed] They're less closed off.[Ed] There's not a table between the two of you.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] And you're not taking somebody's seat[Phoebe] or sitting down in front of their drink.[Phoebe] You're, you're approaching people that are standing.[Phoebe] They're having active conversation.[Ed] Yeah.[Ed] And speaking of people who are standing,[Ed] there's also a dance floor at a lot of these places.[Ed] So go dance.[Ed] And you dance next to couples.[Ed] And who knows?[Ed] Maybe somebody winks at you.[Ed] They move a little closer.[Ed] Maybe they little bump grind.[Ed] And the next thing you know, you've[Unknown] hit it off with these people.[Phoebe] Absolutely.[Unknown] It can happen.[Phoebe] Now at some of the hotel parties that we've been to,[Phoebe] they have a VIP.[Phoebe] Well, they have several VIP areas.[Phoebe] They have a VIP cabana that you can buy for the evening.[Phoebe] And there's multiples.[Ed] These are like couches around lounge areas all the way around.[Ed] Lounge areas.[Phoebe] Very nice.[Phoebe] Very upscale.[Phoebe] And then they have VIP tables.[Phoebe] Right.[Phoebe] And people that buy these areas, they want you to come by.[Phoebe] We didn't even know this until about a year later.[Phoebe] Until they told us and we're like, what?[Phoebe] Oh, the reason they buy those, it's like a fly catcher.[Ed] Exactly.[Phoebe] In a very non-sexy way, I could have used a better example.[Phoebe] But.[Ed] It's a honey trap.[Unknown] It is a honey trap.[Ed] So you sit down on that nice comfy couch.[Ed] You watch people dance and buy.[Ed] And you go, hi, honey.[Ed] Hi, come on over.[Unknown] Come on over.[Ed] And you sit down on the couch.[Ed] You have a good conversation with them.[Ed] And at New Year's, we ended up in some actually[Ed] multiple people's cabanas.[Ed] And it was just for that because they didn't buy this back.[Ed] And they're like, hey, we've got some champagne.[Ed] We're doing our thing anyway.[Guest] I know, it's so fun.[Ed] Don't feel intimidated by the VIP areas, right?[Ed] At least at the club that we go to,[Ed] it's not VIP is in like exclusive only.[Phoebe] Very important.[Phoebe] Don't step across our.[Ed] Yeah, this isn't like off limits.[Ed] It's we bought this because we want people to come and join us.[Phoebe] Absolutely.[Ed] You've gone around the room.[Unknown] Now it's time to talk about some of the language[Phoebe] and the rules.[Ed] Yeah, some guidelines.[Unknown] Yeah.[Phoebe] So as a woman, I always make it a point.[Phoebe] And I think this is a very good rule to say hi[Phoebe] and hug the woman first.[Phoebe] If she's open to a hug, but always greet the woman first.[Phoebe] The woman in the lifestyle is always the gatekeeper.[Ed] Hey there, podcast listeners.[Ed] You've been tuning into our episodes,[Ed] but have you ever wondered about the steamy details[Ed] of our adventures or maybe hungry for some[Ed] sultry erotic stories?[Phoebe] Well, guess what?[Phoebe] We've got something special just for you.[Phoebe] Our exclusive Patreon page.[Phoebe] It's like a VIP pass to the saucy[Phoebe] or side of our world.[Ed] So if you're ready for an exclusive behind the mic experience,[Ed] head over to our Patreon page now.[Ed] Trust us.[Ed] This is where the magic happens.[Phoebe] See you there, patrons.[Ed] And if you're a guy, greet the husband first,[Ed] greet the man first.[Ed] If you go straight first, wife, he might be offended.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] So shake hands, make eye contact.[Phoebe] Yes, I always want the woman to feel comfortable.[Phoebe] I would always want to feel comfortable.[Phoebe] And you know, I don't know, I'm just sensitive to that.[Phoebe] I think that is very important.[Unknown] I think that makes a big difference.[Phoebe] I think women feel less offended[Phoebe] if you say hi and greet them first.[Phoebe] Women all want to feel very special[Unknown] and you know, important.[Phoebe] So I feel like that.[Phoebe] And why not give that to another woman?[Phoebe] So I do that.[Ed] Absolutely.[Phoebe] And I think that, I don't know if that really works,[Phoebe] but that's me.[Unknown] I think it's important.[Ed] Now, one of the other things to agree upon ahead of time[Ed] is how close you are going to be next to your partner[Ed] or other couples.[Ed] It's not a rule per se, but you can kind of talk about[Ed] how comfortable you are being on the same bed[Ed] or on separate beds near your partner.[Ed] And I think it's kind of like a rule,[Ed] but it's also about your comfort level.[Ed] We, Phoebe and I really like having close contact[Ed] with each other when we're having sex.[Ed] For a number of reasons.[Ed] It's hot looking into each other's eyes[Ed] while we're having sex with other people.[Ed] It's just sexy.[Ed] And we like that contact.[Ed] We like having all the people on the bed having contact.[Ed] So proximity's a good thing to talk about ahead of time too.[Unknown] And the number one rule at any lifestyle event,[Ed] ask first.[Ed] It's a consensual thing.[Ed] You want everybody's consent.[Ed] And you know, it's really not okay to touch somebody else[Ed] unless you've asked.[Ed] And people will get really upset if you do that.[Ed] So it's better for everybody if you just ask first.[Ed] Plus it shows that respect.[Ed] Much like Phoebe was talking about[Ed] greeting the woman first.[Ed] Right, asking for permission.[Unknown] Right.[Ed] It consent is sexy.[Phoebe] And usually when I ask first to touch,[Phoebe] I don't go right for the nipple.[Phoebe] Usually I'm caressing the shoulder or the back.[Phoebe] Or I don't go right between the legs.[Unknown] You know, you need to think about how you would like that.[Phoebe] I mean, a guy who has no problem[Phoebe] if you just reached on his pants and Greg is.[Ed] Yeah, I think I'm okay with that.[Phoebe] Yeah, women like a little warm up.[Unknown] So you can't just go like bam, go in for the kill.[Phoebe] So yeah, just how you would like it.[Phoebe] How your wife likes it.[Ed] Be suave.[Ed] Think about that.[Ed] You got to warm up to everybody.[Unknown] It's no different than, you know, your partner.[Unknown] Now the converse with that, of course,[Ed] is be okay with saying no, no thank you.[Ed] And this was a struggle for us early on.[Ed] And that was being comfortable with saying no.[Unknown] A lot of times you feel this sense of obligation[Ed] or you don't want to disappoint people.[Unknown] And you know what?[Ed] You're gonna be disappointed at the end of the evening[Ed] if you did something that you didn't want to[Unknown] or you were, you know, you got tangled up[Unknown] in something that you just didn't make you feel good.[Ed] So say no, you can be polite and you can smile[Ed] and just say, oh no, thank you.[Ed] No one's gonna be offended.[Ed] And if they are, they shouldn't be there in the first place.[Ed] But we've never had a problem with that.[Ed] It's, people are very respectful.[Ed] It's probably the best way to describe it.[Phoebe] It's awesome, it's amazing.[Phoebe] It's like they took the nicest people on the planet[Phoebe] put them all in one place and labeled them a swinger.[Unknown] And then made them all naked and climb into bed together.[Ed] And like we told in our story,[Ed] sometimes there's nonverbal communication[Ed] and it's that eye contact.[Ed] It's the come hither finger.[Ed] That happened in that first event that we went at.[Phoebe] Oh yes.[Ed] There was a number of those where it was like,[Ed] you know, you can wave people over.[Ed] And that's a great thing in the playroom.[Ed] If you see somebody who was staring,[Ed] a lot of times, you know, they'll walk by and you go,[Ed] there's room.[Phoebe] You pat the bed and rub it a little nonverbal.[Unknown] Come on over.[Phoebe] That happened on the boat too in the salarium[Unknown] where people were walking by and we just finger them over.[Ed] Yeah, finger them over.[Unknown] A little come hither.[Phoebe] Reconnecting.[Phoebe] So you've played with someone maybe[Phoebe] or you've played with each other on the same bed.[Phoebe] Usually reconnecting sex is,[Phoebe] you've been with somebody else[Phoebe] and you're coming back together.[Phoebe] Right.[Phoebe] To reconnect, to be with your partner,[Phoebe] to share the bond that only you and your partner have.[Unknown] Yeah.[Phoebe] And it's really important.[Phoebe] Some people do it, some don't.[Phoebe] We find it important.[Phoebe] We've heard other people express how important that is.[Phoebe] And it's lovely, it's fabulous.[Ed] And it's comforting to come back to your partner[Ed] and to show them that you're still interested in them[Ed] and that they're still important to you,[Ed] that you still find them desirable and sexy.[Unknown] Absolutely.[Ed] And we enjoy it.[Ed] Plus we're all jazzed up from the previous encounters[Ed] and makes our sex even better.[Unknown] I know.[Phoebe] Then you also want to talk about your feelings[Unknown] if anything came up, what happened?[Ed] If you were uncomfortable about anything.[Phoebe] Yeah, how you felt, maybe you need some reassurance,[Unknown] but it's always important to go through that process[Unknown] afterwards, it'll be natural.[Phoebe] You'll figure that out, something'll come up.[Unknown] Yeah.[Ed] And you'll find that there are times[Ed] when you need to talk about how you're feeling.[Ed] And sometimes the reconnecting sex happens right there.[Ed] Sometimes it happens back in your room.[Ed] Sometimes it happens.[Ed] You're having a conversation coming away from the party.[Phoebe] Sometimes I had feelings to process.[Phoebe] We didn't have reconnect sex[Phoebe] because I had some feelings come up[Phoebe] that I couldn't really articulate[Phoebe] or didn't really know what that meant.[Phoebe] And so we had reconnect sex the next morning.[Unknown] Yeah.[Ed] We had to process it.[Ed] You had to figure it out.[Ed] You had to go, well, I'm having a feeling,[Ed] but I don't know why I'm having this feeling.[Ed] What the heck is this about?[Unknown] Right.[Unknown] So then you will also find yourself in this afterglow discussion.[Ed] Yes.[Phoebe] About the fun and the play by play and perspectives.[Phoebe] We find it incredibly erotic[Phoebe] to talk about an event afterwards[Unknown] and inevitably one person will be the sharing a story[Phoebe] that about something that I didn't get to see.[Unknown] Right.[Ed] I mean, you get involved in sex[Unknown] and you don't realize everything that's going on around you.[Ed] And honestly, you shouldn't.[Ed] You should be paying attention to what's going on.[Phoebe] Right. You're trying to focus on your own orgasm[Phoebe] and then you can't be like your head can't constantly[Phoebe] be on a swivel.[Unknown] So you're like, uh, uh, and meanwhile,[Phoebe] your partner's over here doing their thing.[Phoebe] And then later you're like, wait, I didn't see that.[Phoebe] And so then you get to hear this.[Ed] Heck, we even learned things happened at the last party.[Ed] We didn't even know happened until someone else[Ed] was telling the story about it.[Ed] It wasn't even our story.[Ed] We're like, what happened?[Ed] And, you know, you talk about things that you liked[Ed] and things that you didn't like.[Ed] And as those stories come out, you go, you know,[Ed] there was this thing that I just, you know,[Ed] I didn't like that or…[Phoebe] Well, yeah, this, the not like versus the like,[Phoebe] yeah, also very good to talk about.[Ed] But there's also the things where you really liked it.[Phoebe] Yeah, techniques, we've learned new things[Phoebe] from me having other partners with oral play.[Ed] Oh, yeah.[Phoebe] And there were certain techniques that I try to describe to Ed[Phoebe] and we've successfully replicated that,[Unknown] which is really exciting.[Ed] And as an example from the previous party,[Ed] I've shown a couple women how to squirt.[Ed] Oh, yeah.[Ed] So talk about them having a conversation afterwards.[Ed] They're like, okay, you got to do this thing.[Ed] Okay, no, your fingers got to be like this.[Ed] Okay, now, do push this and rub and add this motion.[Ed] It's great.[Ed] You can learn new techniques.[Phoebe] Absolutely.[Ed] We hear about couples all the time who were like,[Ed] I didn't know this was a position.[Ed] We were listening to a podcast the other morning[Ed] and they were talking about some new position[Ed] that they'd never tried before.[Unknown] Right?[Phoebe] I know.[Phoebe] And how do you know if you don't know?[Phoebe] I mean, you don't know.[Phoebe] If you don't know.[Phoebe] And then someone does something.[Phoebe] I mean, you don't know the taste of a strawberry[Phoebe] to you had a strawberry.[Phoebe] So I should say, cherry.[Ed] Cherry.[Phoebe] Chocolate.[Unknown] It's been a long time since I've had a cherry.[Phoebe] I don't think so.[Phoebe] Ha, ha, ha, well, yeah.[Phoebe] All right, everyone.[Phoebe] We hope that these tips and guidelines[Phoebe] give you a little confidence and inspiration[Phoebe] to set out and attend your first event.[Phoebe] Have a goal and set reasonable expectations for each event.[Phoebe] You will end up with lots of happy surprises.[Ed] Before you turn off our podcast,[Ed] take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away.[Ed] Please reach out and give us a review.[Ed] I know mashing a star is so much easier,[Ed] but a review is so much better[Ed] for sharing your love of what we're doing with others.[Ed] We would appreciate it.[Ed] If you want to share a personal story,[Ed] ask us questions, or share your comments.[Ed] Please contact us at SwingerUniversity at gmail.com[Ed] or on Twitter at SwingerUpodcast.[Unknown] Oh, one last thing before you go.[Ed] If this episode helped you in any way,[Ed] the single best thing you can do to support the show[Ed] is leaving a rating and review.[Ed] It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us[Ed] when they're searching for relationship education.[Ed] And we've made it easy.[Ed] Visit SwingerUniversity.com forward slash review.[Unknown] All the instructions are there.[Ed] Thank you for being part of this community.[Ed] We'll see you again soon.