Swinger Playdate got us Randy!

[00:02] [Guest] Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program. Group projects
were never this much fun. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. So away we go for

[00:24] [Unknown] Randy and Reno. Oh yeah, we’re gonna share with you our sexy swinger experience

[00:31] [Ed] and give you some pointers on communication and expectations. You don’t want to

[00:39] [Phoebe] slip out for this one. We met the sexy, flirty couple at New Year’s. Stayed in

[00:47] [Unknown] touch and decided to go visit them. But before this all came about, there was

[00:55] [Ed] some communication. Obviously. Communication. You got to keep the fire burning, but not

[01:05] [Unknown] so much that you burn it out. Exactly. People have lives. They have their own life,
and you’re not in their life. You’re sharing a little bit or a lot. A dessert in

[01:22] [Phoebe] their life. So this couple, we kicked them back and forth. As I mentioned, we met
them at New Year’s. I had a great time. We stayed in touch. We’re communicating
through kick, and they happened to mention that we should come up for the weekend. So you
know, we weren’t really sure they were serious. We figured, oh, they’re just high on the whole
New Year’s Eve experience. We’ll just kind of let them come down from that a little
bit, and a couple of weeks go by. Sure enough, they threw out the bait, and we bit. Some
swingers strategy is to not chase, which I think is good solid advice. And while we applied

[02:15] [Unknown] this strategy, I really liked Ed’s response when I asked, are we chasing? And I said,
sometimes you got to go where the fish are. And that’s when we decided to go. So it’s

[02:34] [Ed] really important to have some communication in terms of setting up details. Maybe a couple
picks here and there just to spice things up, give you a little taste of what’s coming,
but not go too much into it. And don’t build it up so much that your anticipation kind

[02:57] [Phoebe] of outpaces what the potential is. Exactly. So a couple videos and a couple pictures
later. The wheat progresses. It gets a little closer to Friday. And we noticed the communication

[03:12] [Unknown] got a little thin. And I’m just talking basic communication like, hey, how’s your day?

[03:18] [Phoebe] Thinking about you guys? There are some simple one liners. And so we got a little nervous
thinking, gosh, the hotel’s already booked. You can’t cancel. I’ve taken time off work.

[03:35] [Ed] So we said, we better have a backup plan because sometimes things happen. And when sometimes

[03:44] [Phoebe] plans go tits up, there’s always a strip club, especially in Reno. We’re not gamblers,

[03:55] [Unknown] but we do like titties. So we left work and drove up to Reno and dropped them another

[04:06] [Ed] line just to see if they were excited to see us. We’re getting there on the way. Turns
out they both just had crappy weeks at work, super hectic and were just beat. But they

[04:26] [Phoebe] let us know that they were very excited to see us, which was great. Yes. So yes. So

[04:35] [Ed] we’re sitting there at a restaurant right there in downtown Reno, a great little place
called the Depot. Yeah, that was really good food, great cocktails. And they gave us the
play by play in terms of where they were. How soon they were going to get there, taking
care of some vanilla stuff at home to make sure that that was all settled in. And then shortly
thereafter, their bubbly cells came bouncing into the room and hugs and kisses for everybody
and we sat down and had a little dinner with them. And it was so nice to see them. It
was the great end of the week for us. And I think for them too. Yeah. So we made plans
for the evening because it was still pretty early and decided what our original plan was.
So we had a backup plan. But the primary plan was to go hit PK there in Reno. PK is short
for poker nights, which is a nice club. It’s an actual swing club there in Reno. And tell

[05:50] [Unknown] them how they spell it. It’s poke her nights. It’s fun. We’ve been there twice now and we’ve

[06:01] [Ed] had a good time, both times, but it’s like any establishment. It’s kind of hit or miss
during the week, depending on what people schedules are like, because it’s always there.
It’s not like an event. It tends to be just like a nightclub where you kind of have good

[06:22] [Unknown] nights and lesser attended nights. Right. So we go, if we get there, we throw our coats

[06:34] [Phoebe] in the closet, we get some drinks and we head up to the hot tub. The hot tub is actually
upstairs, which is amazing. I don’t know how they did this, but it’s the size of a small

[06:47] [Ed] pool. It’s massive. It’s kind of be like a 12 person hot tub. 12. It’s like a 50 person

[06:56] [Phoebe] hot tub. It’s not that big. Okay, 30. It’s funny. It’s not that big. Oh, yeah. It’s big.

[07:02] [Unknown] It’s huge. It’s really big. It’s not that big. It was so fun. They had lockers to put

[07:11] [Phoebe] all your stuff, fresh towels, all folded, nice and neat, very, very nice, very, very clean.
So we all got in the hot tub and splashed around. And the tip was, and the reason why we got

[07:22] [Unknown] in the hot tub this night was, see that. You’re going to say the reason why you go, no,

[07:30] [Ed] okay, I won’t say it. But anyway, we were floating around in the hot tub and everybody started
to get a little frisky. So we decided to get out of the hot tub and get into some trouble,

[07:46] [Unknown] went into one of the rooms upstairs and had a good time. Sometimes the door was open, sometimes

[07:55] [Ed] the door was closed. Got a couple invites from the neighbors to come join them. We didn’t take

[08:00] [Phoebe] them up on it, but it was you, you in particular got the invite. Yeah, that’s true. And husband
invited you. My wife really, oh, I think she’s, he said she really liked your cock. Yeah, I think

[08:16] [Ed] she said, he said that. He said, you, she would really like your, yeah. We didn’t take him up on
the offer. I had plenty on my plate. Yes, I didn’t need, I didn’t need to extend myself.

[08:34] [Unknown] My house, I kept my, my appetites contained. We had a really good time, such a, such a good time.
Oh, yeah, it was great. Lots of fun for a while. And then we decided it was getting late. Yeah,

[08:51] [Ed] we closed the club out. Basically, there were only four people left by the time we left the room.
And that was perfect. We didn’t even know or care because we were in our own little bubble bubble.

[09:10] [Phoebe] Yeah, so we ended the evening. They dropped us off at our hotel because we got a hotel.
And initially, they wanted us to stay both nights with them, but it’s too much pressure on people
to have someone in your space for two nights. And we weren’t sure how it was all going to play out.
So as we said earlier, we had a hotel. So we went back to the hotel,
walked and slept and got up the next day. You’ve lost over that one real quick. You just like,

[09:39] [Unknown] we fucked and then slept. Sorry. Yeah, we need to go. I’m trying to get to the shopping.

[09:45] [Ed] Oh, well, you know, I know where your mind is.
And now you know where mine is.
It was great. And it was the end of a long day. We had a long drive. And it was nice. It turned out
much better than what we had hoped it was going to be. And at the end of the night,

[10:10] [Phoebe] they said, we can’t wait to see you again tomorrow. We’re going to be busing our ass basically
to clean the place and make it all ready for you. We’d love for you to come and stay. We’ve
got the pull-out couch, et cetera, et cetera. And so we were like, oh, because we didn’t have
expectations to stay another night because we really weren’t sure. You know, things can change.
So that leads us to expectations. Yeah.

[10:41] [Ed] It’s tricky because you need to have some degree of expectations when you’re planning stuff.
Like, you kind of want it to want it. Right. And we’ve been guilty of saying this before where

[10:56] [Unknown] have no expectations when you’re swinging. And you know, we admit we have said this in the past,

[11:05] [Ed] but after this weekend, we think we kind of figured out some of the intricacies of

[11:12] [Unknown] expectations. So if you don’t have any, you might be sending the wrong vibe. You might
seem off-putting in that you don’t care or you’re not interested. So while it’s important not to

[11:32] [Phoebe] over-invest, you still have to have some sort of skin in the game. You got to make sure that
you’ve got that line, the tug on the line on that fishing line.

[11:46] [Unknown] So the trick is to have some, but don’t like hinge your happiness, your entire evening or weekend
on this grand success that you built up in your head. It never, it never lives up to that level of

[12:06] [Ed] expectation. It’s okay to want something, like I said, but it’s the level of weight or importance
that you put on it. And you, you can’t let that outway the experience you’re going to have with
your own partner, which is going and having a good time. That’s the critical thing. And so
it’s good to not set yourself up for failure, but remember, you’ve always got at least one backup

[12:35] [Unknown] plans better to have two, one for the evening and one for you and your partner.

[12:40] [Phoebe] Right. And you know, your partner is the cake and the icing is really just swinging with

[12:47] [Unknown] a little decoration on top. Yeah. So we alleviated some of the expectations by removing some

[12:57] [Phoebe] pressure off of our new swing of friends. And they were super gung ho to have a stay two nights

[13:06] [Unknown] when we first started making plans, but we gave them a little bit of a relief from that. So
the expectations weren’t so intense. Right. Right. And it worked out because they weren’t ready to

[13:19] [Phoebe] have us over that night anyway. And the second night worked great. So we shopped, we did our thing
during the day and they called us up and said, hey, come on over. We’re ready. We’ve got the house clean.
Yeah, they did a spring cleaning. Oh, yeah. It was awesome. Got it all ready for us. Yeah,

[13:43] [Ed] it was super sweet. It’s pretty tough to have somebody living in your space and entertaining them
all weekend long. And just like we reconnected on Friday night, it’s important as a couple to be
able to reconnect. So after new years and the experience we had with them, then we knew that they
needed some couples time to reconnect. So Friday night, PK, they get to go back to their place.

[14:10] [Unknown] We went back to our place. Everybody got to reconnect. Yeah. And recharge for round two. Recharge, yes.

[14:19] [Phoebe] So flexibility. Yeah. Also very important. We were very flexible. They were very flexible. And

[14:27] [Unknown] knowing or having that awareness that things are going to change. And have your backup plan,

[14:35] [Phoebe] like Ed said, and that if everything falls to pieces with the other couple, then you know you’ve

[14:43] [Unknown] got some fun plans ahead of you with just the two of you. Right. So we were in a situation. I

[14:55] [Phoebe] don’t remember where it was, but something we’re supposed to meet someone or go somewhere,
something fun was supposed to happen. And it all went south. And we just decided to
go on the positive attitude. And we ended up pulling in somebody else. It must have been an event

[15:18] [Ed] or something. Something like that happened at New Year’s last year, where we’d had

[15:25] [Unknown] plans. And there was one couple who was real eager for us to connect with them. But we weren’t sure

[15:34] [Ed] how that was going to go. And we’d lost their room for a while. We didn’t know which room number

[15:41] [Unknown] they were in. We ended up in another party. And it was great because we’d gotten the second

[15:46] [Ed] invitation. It was a lot of fun. We’re still talking about that experience. That was great.
By the end of the evening, after that, after party, we’d gotten a text from them or a message
from them. And they’d given us their room number again. And we did end up meeting up with them.

[16:07] [Unknown] Oh, that’s right. Now, it’s always good to have backup plans and a positive attitude. Yeah.

[16:17] [Ed] We did our day shopping. We got over to their place. We watched a movie. We kind of relaxed.
And then we started getting ready for our second evening. Because we knew we were going to stay
the second night. We were both a little tired from the first night. But we said, you know, let’s

[16:38] [Phoebe] we’ll give it a shot. Yeah. So we got there early. It was Marty Grownite.

[16:43] [Ed] Yes. It was pretty fun. It was fun. We got some beads. I didn’t get the beads I wanted though.

[16:49] [Unknown] No. You did too much pressure. Yeah. I had to show my boobies. Which I’m fine. Show me my boobies.

[16:56] [Phoebe] But there was like 30 people standing in the lobby. And I just walked in the door. Right.
And I would have to on a simple my entire outfit, just to whip my boobs out. And then I have to put
it all back together. I know. This is way too much work. So I just decided to whip my dick out in

[17:14] [Unknown] the bar and got beads for her. Because the two ladies who were running the bar were happy with

[17:22] [Ed] that exchange of goods. And so we got some fun beads. But the crowd wasn’t quite the same as
the first night. There were more people there. And it just it just didn’t have the right vibe for
us. And we decided that we had more than enough company for ourselves. So we all headed back to

[17:49] [Phoebe] their place. Yeah. It’s almost like it was too distracting that evening. We just were like
super giddy and just wanted to go back and fuck at their house. Yeah. I think we really wanted to
try out their bed. Yeah. They have a really great bedroom. It’s fabulous. Oh, yeah.
It’s very sensual and sexy. And they’ve got
tight out. Dungeon-esque. Yes.

[18:17] [Ed] Yep. That was it. Yeah. I think that’s really what it came down to. It was like,

[18:23] [Phoebe] I’m sure had nothing to do with the two of them. No. No. Not at all. Not that they weren’t
exciting and fun. Yeah. Yeah. We wanted them all to ourselves. So. We did have them all

[18:38] [Unknown] to ourselves. For a very long evening again. Yeah. Oh my god. We were so tired at the end of it. But

[18:45] [Ed] it was so much fun. We tried a bunch of different stuff. Oh, we were all having great time.

[18:54] [Phoebe] And the couch. And yeah. Toys and without toys. And I think there was a costume change in there.

[19:02] [Ed] And there were some watching and some participating. Oh, yeah. The guys were watching.

[19:09] [Phoebe] Yeah. The misses. Have some fun for a little while. That was fun. That was quite the show.
We did enjoy. Yeah. We got a little relaxing. We’re a little reprieve with some eye candy.
It was juicy. So, you know, be flexible. The key is to be flexible with intent. Make sure your

[19:36] [Unknown] message is clear and not wishy-washy. I still want to meet up and have sex with you.

[19:44] [Phoebe] Is the message that you come to give. The key is to be flexible with intent. Make sure your
message is clear and not wishy-washy. You want to be sure to communicate that, yeah, I’m interested.

[19:57] [Unknown] I want to have sex with you. But be aware it’s, you know, it’s a little bit of a balance.

[20:03] [Ed] In summary, have good honest communication that shows intent with flexibility. Have expectations.
Just don’t let them run your entire evening event or weekend. Remember,
this is the opportunity for an experience with your partner. However, it may develop.

[20:27] [Unknown] Love one another and love often. Before you turn off our podcasts to take care of all the

[20:37] [Phoebe] vanilla things pulling you away, please reach out and give us a review. I am the first to admit
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[21:57] [Unknown] Thank you for being part of this community. We’ll see you again soon.