Moaning In The Bedroom – You Should Do It More!

[00:00] [Phoebe] Want to know the benefits of moaning how moaning affects each partner whether or not you should fake it
How not to be self-conscious when you’re making those noises

[00:14] [Guest] You’re listening to Swinger University with Ed and Phoebe
Welcome to Swinger University. We’re learning is fun and sexy
Here are your helps
Ed and Phoebe

[00:32] [Unknown] Before we get started let’s thank our brand new patron Roy. Thank you very much for your support. We appreciate it

[00:41] [Phoebe] Sound is an important role in our lives when you listen to music
It moves you it makes you
You know empowered it can make you feel more angry or angsty it can make you feel sad it can make you feel joyous
Yeah, that feeling that you get when
Sound is being made is stimulating

[01:07] [Ed] Yeah, and the other interesting thing that sound will do is it will trigger memories and it will inspire those feelings and release
Those same endorphins and chemicals that your brain experience when you first had those feelings so
those first
Sexual experiences that you had where there was potentially a lot of noise
Your brain remembers that and it triggers those sensations all over again

[01:35] [Phoebe] You know, we have a good friend that calls up the playlist and when he
When that playlist starts playing in his brain it starts getting everything going for him right
Moaning creates intimacy and closeness
It it’s a form of communication between you and your partner. It’s a form of communication with yourself
it actually
You on as well, not just your partner
It transports us to a state of heightened sensory pleasure with no distractions and really drops us into our
core of
sexual energy
it relieves that
daily stress and
We just focus on

[02:20] [Unknown] Flesher

[02:21] [Ed] Yeah, it’s a really important way for your brain to kind of focus on what is at hand and it
It does it removes all of those distractions because it kind of tunes you to the situation
And gets your brain focused on what’s going on

[02:39] [Phoebe] Yeah, and actually when I think back to to my days of therapy when when you’re
You’re trying to get out of your head and
Analyze, you know, whatever issue is going on that you’re trying to resolve in your life
And you just get down to that core emotion or feeling once you leave
Like the multitude of words and sentences and you kind of just get down to sound

[03:07] [Ed] It has a very therapeutic and kind of cathartic cathartic feeling. Yeah, so sound really is

[03:15] [Phoebe] Very very critical to our being as humans

[03:20] [Ed] So while making sound in moaning
We’ll we’ll phrase it this way

[03:27] [Unknown] real moaning actual

[03:29] [Ed] pleasure
triggers those feelings
Faking it actually might be sending your brain the wrong message

[03:38] [Phoebe] If you’re faking it your partner doesn’t know
What really feels good to you and so
You’ve just given them signals and communication that really is not beneficial to either one of you because your partner does truly deeply want to please you
And you deserve to be pleased so it’s
It’s it’s not good to fake you think you’re doing a good thing, but it’s not

[04:03] [Ed] Yeah, in a sense it’s like giving a stranger directions to the wrong place
Right because you’re telling them this is good when it’s really
Probably not that good because you’re having to fake it
So it’s probably better to just verbalize what you would like to happen instead or give them a little direction to the left to the right harder softer
And not just fake the moan to try and get it over with unless you are trying to get it over with
Yes, and we have heard stories about that too where it’s just like
I’m done. We gotta get out of here. I don’t want to hurt this person’s feelings

[04:44] [Guest] I came we’re over

[04:46] [Unknown] Roll over

[04:48] [Ed] But the other thing that it’s doing too is because you’re so focused on that fake dialogue that fake communication

[04:58] [Unknown] You’re

[05:00] [Ed] You’re in your head
You’re not thinking about what’s going on. So if anything you’re
Actually making the situation worse for yourself because you can’t even enjoy the little bit of pleasure that they might be having because you’re having this internal monologue

[05:14] [Phoebe] Like talking about baseball and you may also want to think about why you’re faking it, right? There’s a reason for everything
Is it a confidence issue? Is it shame? Is it something that maybe you might benefit talking through with somebody
You know, maybe some therapy or some coaching
There’s a ton of of sex coaches out there right now and really great therapists out there that are tuned into
To sex positive, you know behaviors and between couples and lifestyle
A stuff as well. So you may want to consider that and if you are feeling self-conscious
Here are some tips for you that can help

[05:56] [Ed] Think about why you’re self-conscious if you’re self-conscious because of
Maybe physical appearance. Maybe you have some body image issues
Think about how you can light the room to maybe help with a little bit of that
Dim the lights a little bit use colored lights a red lights actually very flattering for most people skin tones
And it kind of sets that sexy
I don’t check a wow wow mood

[06:21] [Phoebe] Yeah, having those cool lights. It sets the stage for we are going to just focus on us now or not just
An afterthought after dinner or something. We’ve set time aside to prepare for this
You know intimate interaction that we are going to do together. So the lighting is kind of crucial for that

[06:42] [Ed] I think I love it
It’s it’s almost like that visualization that you go through when you when you’re competing where you keep talking about it
It’s like an internal dialogue, but here’s an external
The room is prepared and everything is kind of leading up to that. Yes. Yes

[06:59] [Phoebe] And talk to your partner for support too
You know have those intimate conversations. I would say probably outside of the bedroom
Would be best to have this type of conversation with your partner and say you know when we when we’re together
Um, you know, I really want to try this one. We’re really self-conscious about about this
aspect right and and you can talk that through before you get to the bedroom and it
To kind of take some of the pressure off of that particular moment
And we’re prepared going into it the next time you want to experiment

[07:35] [Ed] Another really exciting thing to try to inspire that new relationship energy with your partner
Is to try something different. I mean you read cosmopolitan and all those magazines and they’re like try something new and fresh in the bedroom
Well
Yeah, try something new and fresh in the bedroom something that you’ve never done with your partner if it’s getting
Typical if it’s getting routine then break up the routine
Try feathers try massage oil try leather straps try
Kitchen implements maybe a spatula maybe something

[08:13] [Unknown] fun and different

[08:15] [Ed] You never know it may just be the right thing to set off a whole new set of feelings and sensations

[08:24] [Phoebe] Yeah, anything to kind of kick off
Something new and different right that’s going to inspire you to be vocal. That’s the key right
The other thing that I would encourage you to do is mirror practice
It can be incredibly uncomfortable. I’m not gonna lie
But it’s really really good
Take some time to stand in front of the mirror you can do it closed first
But I would encourage you to do it naked as well
and start
Moaning just start moaning and laugh at yourself because it’s kind of feel awkward and you’re gonna think you look stupid
But then eventually if you keep doing it you will
Feel your body kind of just drop into your sexual energy in that power and you’ll start to feel different trust me and
then
The more you do it, it’ll just start to feel more natural because anything you do repetitively
Feels more natural and so I would encourage you to try that
Don’t just do it once. I mean this is gonna take a little bit of practice
But it will give you that confidence and you’ll get used to hearing what you sound like first before you
Do that in front of somebody else and maybe that will help and and this is a

[09:49] [Ed] Little bit different than the previous faking it. This is faking it till you make it in a sense
It’s conditioning you to be comfortable with
Your own vocalizations you making sound and and not
Not feeling embarrassed because you’re making noises right. It’s okay
You’re having fun. You’re playing with yourself. So to speak in front of the mirror
Or you could be playing with yourself in front of the mirror and making noises which would also work very well right

[10:18] [Phoebe] So you know in conclusion you in moaning during foreplay and sex can be very very powerful and it’s a great form of communication
For yourself and for your partner
It creates that heightened sensory experience for the both of you own your mones
And remember to communicate with your partner
explore together
And create a more pleasurable experience

[10:48] [Unknown] Oh one last thing before you go if this episode helped you in any way

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