Costa Rica Swinger Vacation (LLV) – Day 1

[00:02] [Guest] Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program.
Group projects were never this much fun.
Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe.

[00:18] [Unknown] Hi, this is Ed.

[00:23] [Phoebe] And this is Phoebe.

[00:24] [Ed] We are recording live from Costa Rica.
Pretty much unscripted.
Yeah, this is probably as loose as we get in terms of scripting.
I mean, we get loose.
Yes.
I mean, don’t misconstrue that.
We will, like, get freaky.

[00:42] [Unknown] Yes.

[00:43] [Phoebe] So if you haven’t been on Twitter and you haven’t been on TikTok and all other social media,
you don’t know that we’re recording live from LLV’s Costa Rica takeover.

[00:54] [Ed] And if you’re not on Twitter or Instagram or any of our social accounts.
You need to be.

[01:00] [Unknown] Why?

[01:01] [Ed] Are you not?
Well, please, join us.
And we’re glad you’re listening now.

[01:06] [Unknown] Yes.

[01:07] [Phoebe] Oh, my God.

[01:09] [Ed] We actually, like, cracked the sliding glass door a little bit.
So you can hear the Costa Rican Roomba-style Zumba class.
Canadian type music.

[01:20] [Phoebe] Yes, that’s going on in the pool.
We can see the pool from our room.
It’s amazing.

[01:26] [Ed] And a bunch of naked boobies shaking.

[01:29] [Phoebe] Everyone is naked.
When we first got here, they’re like,
oh, some people might be naked.
You know, it’s just topless.
No, fuck no.
Oh, hell no.
Everyone’s naked.
Naked naked naked.

[01:39] [Ed] We’re down at the beach.
Anyway, we’re jumping ahead.

[01:42] [Phoebe] I know. I’m so excited.

[01:43] [Ed] Let’s start from the beginning.
Okay, start from the beginning.

[01:45] [Phoebe] Okay, so we get to the, we get the flight.
You know, what flying is like.
Flying sucks.
Flying sucks.
And so then we get to Costa Rica and the line for customs was really, really long.
It was hideously long.
And we, but what made it better was we met our first couple.
The pineapple customs.
The pineapple couple.

[02:09] [Ed] Do you have anything to clear?
Yes, we’re swingers and so are they.

[02:14] [Unknown] So, so Ed spots this guy with a pineapple shirt.

[02:20] [Phoebe] Pineapple shirt.
And very sparkly gold shoes.
But he didn’t relay the gold shoe part until later.
Like, that was an indicator that he was like a swinger.
And like, why were they gold?
The pineapple shirt did it for me.
But he’s like, oh, but look at the shoes.
They’re fabulous.

[02:36] [Unknown] That’s sparkly.

[02:37] [Phoebe] They’re so bam.
They’ve got to be event shoes.

[02:40] [Ed] Someone’s making a statement.
Yeah.
Yes.
Peacocking oil.

[02:45] [Phoebe] Some peacocking going on.

[02:47] [Unknown] So he’s like, look at that guy behind you.

[02:50] [Phoebe] You know, back over to your right.
He’s got a pineapple shirt.

[02:52] [Ed] So trying to be subtle.

[02:54] [Phoebe] Trying to be subtle.

[02:55] [Ed] Of course, we’ve talked to them afterwards.
Yes.

[02:58] [Phoebe] So I glanced over to my shirt.
And Mr. P.
Mr. Pineapple was so funny when he recounts the story.
And I wish he was here to tell it because he does it so well.

[03:07] [Ed] And we may actually pull them in for a minute.
Yes.
Which will be fun.

[03:11] [Phoebe] Yes.
Yes.
We’ll see if we can do it here.
Or not.
Or later.
Or not. Or later.

[03:17] [Unknown] Yes.

[03:19] [Phoebe] So I glanced over my shoulder.
I look the shirt.
I look at his face.
He catches my gaze.
Because he knew what was going on.
He spotted Ed.

[03:28] [Ed] Well, he wore the shirt for…
I mean, he’s trying to real fish in it.
So I don’t show them.

[03:35] [Phoebe] And then I’m like, fuck, he caught my eye.
I’m like, I just have to call myself out.
I look back over my shoulder.
I’m like, hi.
Hi.
I’m Phoebe.
Right.

[03:46] [Unknown] But I use my real name.

[03:47] [Phoebe] And so we introduced.
And yeah.
And so every time we go back and forth.

[03:56] [Ed] So we’re not what?
Five minutes into customs.
They came off of a different plane than us.
Because they came from the East Coast.
We came from…

[04:05] [Unknown] How fast is it?

[04:08] [Ed] Far from whatever.

[04:09] [Phoebe] Yeah, we went up to Alaska and came back down.
Just to say that.

[04:12] [Ed] Yeah, that’s ridiculous.
But we’re not in the line for five minutes.
And we’ve already connected with another couple.
Yeah.
So.
Super fun.
Ooh.

[04:22] [Phoebe] Yes.

[04:23] [Unknown] Advertise.

[04:24] [Ed] Walk up and introduce yourself no matter where you are.
Mm-hmm.
To the couple.

[04:29] [Phoebe] Because we met a second couple.
Once we got through customs and had the interview.
Yes.
And then we were ready to scan our bags.
As the last entrance into Costa Rica.
We met another couple who was…
Basically got pushed to the front of the line because of some…

[04:50] [Unknown] I don’t know.

[04:53] [Ed] We will not call anyone out.
But there was a politically incorrect person in line with us.
Correct.

[05:00] [Phoebe] And customs were very nice and pulled the nice people out of the line.
And put them over.
Anyway, they’re here too.

[05:06] [Ed] So we met two couples.
They’re just vanilla people.

[05:09] [Phoebe] Oh, they are?
Oh, yeah.
I got that so confused.

[05:12] [Ed] Okay, well whatever.
They were a very nice couple though.
And we introduced ourselves anyway.
Because you never know.
You never know.

[05:17] [Phoebe] Okay.
So getting on to the good stuff.
We get on the bus.
And it’s a bus like…

[05:22] [Ed] It’s like a charter bus.

[05:24] [Phoebe] It’s a charter bus.

[05:25] [Unknown] Full.

[05:26] [Phoebe] We wait.
And then…

[05:28] [Ed] Two more couples.
Three more couples.
Four more couples.
Come on.
Yeah, the bus is like three-quarter full.
The boost.
The boost.

[05:36] [Phoebe] Almost sounds like you said boost.

[05:38] [Ed] Busy?
What?

[05:40] [Phoebe] What did that guy say?

[05:41] [Ed] I don’t know.

[05:42] [Phoebe] Say it.
So we’re ready to go.

[05:44] [Ed] We’re getting ready.

[05:45] [Phoebe] Can you tell we’ve had some alcohol?

[05:47] [Ed] Yeah, and so our pineapple friend
had brought a bottle of fireball with him.
Yeah.
And he was too prepared to just start the party
right there on the bus.
On the bus.
And another gentleman on the bus
was like, let’s get the party started.
So he stands up and he says,
Hi.
Anyone who want to go on the back
of the bus and have sex right now?

[06:09] [Phoebe] In the bathroom.
And of course the…

[06:11] [Unknown] The heckling from the audience was…

[06:15] [Ed] It’s not the mile high club anymore.

[06:17] [Unknown] We’re on a bus.

[06:20] [Ed] It’s okay.

[06:21] [Phoebe] We can create a new theme for that.

[06:25] [Ed] The bus high club?

[06:28] [Phoebe] So it’s been a long day of traveling.
The bus ride was relatively short,
but the customs line was hideous.
And so then when we arrive at the resort,
I’m an impatient person.
I’m anxious to just get the party started.
And…

[06:47] [Ed] I can confirm North and I that VB is impatient.

[06:50] [Phoebe] Yeah.
So we…
The check-in process was a little…
It was a little more lengthy than I liked.
But I don’t like any check-in process.
They tend to be longer than I think they should be anyway.
But because LLV…
This was like their first time.

[07:07] [Unknown] And…

[07:08] [Ed] And literally this was buses of like…
30 to 50 people showing back to back.
It was a lot of people knowing that.
It was a lot.

[07:19] [Phoebe] I will say our check-in went a lot faster than everybody else’s.
So I don’t know what the fuck was going on with that.
But I am thankful for the multiple mimosas and beers
that they were passing around because that’s what kept me going.
So that’s that?

[07:32] [Ed] Cheers to the survey.

[07:33] [Phoebe] Yes.
So we get to the room, get everything unpacked,
and then what was happening?
Oh, drinks.
Lots of drinks.
Social hour.
And then…
Dinner.
Oh my god.
The dinner buffet was phenomenal.
Wait, did I forget something?

[07:50] [Ed] It was.
But I was going to add a little bit to the drinks.

[07:54] [Phoebe] Oh.

[07:55] [Ed] So there are multiple pools here.
And one of the…
Quote pools.
Church has to be…
Kind of a hot tub.
With a swim-up bar.
Mm-hmm.

[08:06] [Unknown] So…

[08:07] [Phoebe] Kind of like Desire Pearl, if you bend it a way out.

[08:09] [Ed] Yes.
It’s a big warm pool.
Yeah.
And we were all kind of hanging out.
Now, we happened to be in a small group,
the pineapple couple that we met in line.
Yes.
Turns out they weren’t a couple.
They were a thruple.
Yes.
So Phoebe and I immediately got hooked up with a third.

[08:35] [Phoebe] Extra fun.
Woo-hoo.
What’s not too loud about that?

[08:38] [Ed] Who doesn’t like more?
And so we’re hanging out with them at the pool.
And of course, we just decided to get naked.

[08:46] [Phoebe] Yeah, because no one was naked and we’re like,
what the hell?
So we’re all naked in the pool.
And then, oh my gosh.
Okay, so wait.
I can’t call this guy out completely.
Don’t say what his…
We will not say what airline he’s with.
Oh, I was going to say the airline.
Okay, so…

[09:02] [Ed] He’s a pilot.

[09:03] [Phoebe] Oh, I wasn’t going to say that.
We won’t say the airline.

[09:05] [Ed] We won’t say the airline.
I’m going to…
I’m just going to say…

[09:09] [Phoebe] Pilot.
Hello.
Pilot.
Policeman.
Fireman.
You know, pot.
Okay.
Hi, your pilot.
Oh, hi.
And he was sexy.
Dark hair.

[09:21] [Ed] He was also a flight attendant who was there.
Oh, I didn’t see that.
Who I was immediately like.
Oh, this will be fun.
I missed her.

[09:28] [Unknown] Why?

[09:29] [Ed] She was the petite little thing with the little movies in there.
Oh.
We would have had fun.

[09:36] [Phoebe] We would have had fun.
So we were…
So Mr. Pilot.

[09:39] [Unknown] We would have had fun.

[09:40] [Phoebe] He…
Oh, they’re probably gone now.
Anyway, so they swam up to us to our five-some at the time.
And so he became a six.
And we tried to get something together.
But dinner was going to be happening soon.
Right.
And he was going to stay tonight.
And the reason that he was there was because this particular airline
has a contract with this hotel to put their crew up here
when they have a layover.
Right.
And so there was about 30 of them staying here.
And so we were trying to drag him in.
And we were supposed to give him our contact information
because every once in a while I’m flying to Sacramento
and I’m like, ooh.
I can make this happen.

[10:19] [Ed] I have the whole heart is ready and ever.

[10:21] [Phoebe] And I haven’t seen him at all today.
No.

[10:24] [Unknown] So anyway.

[10:26] [Phoebe] But he was a little too drunk to probably make anything happen last night.
And we were so tired.

[10:32] [Unknown] We were very tired.

[10:34] [Phoebe] Especially after dinner and more drinks.

[10:36] [Ed] And so now to dinner.

[10:38] [Phoebe] Now to dinner.
The buffet.
It’d be a mess.
So much food.
You can’t even…
There’s a way you could eat or taste all of it.
There’s just something for everybody.
I took a little bit of maybe half of it.
Some of the stuff, yeah.
Yeah.
And it was phenomenal.
I will say the two times I’ve been to Costa Rica that I just love,
love, love, love the food here.
It’s so clean tasting.
It’s so just…
I can’t describe it any other way.
It’s pork.
It’s carnitas.
But it is like pure carnitas.
It is a tamale.
But it is like the best tamale.
It’s not just vacation mode.
It’s like it doesn’t have all the extra crap.
Right.
We put it into it.
Preservatives and shit in America.

[11:23] [Ed] So used to process.
Oh my god.
It’s so good.

[11:28] [Phoebe] So anyway, dinner was phenomenal.
It was a phenomenal drink.
Conversation.
Big tables.

[11:35] [Unknown] This was all around the pool.

[11:37] [Phoebe] So big round tables with tablecloths, beautiful chairs,
big blue bows and…

[11:42] [Ed] Nice saxophone playing.
There was like live sax music.

[11:45] [Phoebe] Woman.
Yes.

[11:47] [Ed] It was a little Kenny G for me.
Right.
A little more of a jazz purist.
But…

[11:54] [Phoebe] Yeah.

[11:55] [Ed] I get it.
It was still kind of fun.

[11:58] [Phoebe] But it was lovely.
And they were supposed to have a nightclub.
There was.

[12:04] [Ed] We just weren’t there.

[12:05] [Phoebe] We weren’t there.
A lot of people weren’t we heard.
Because it was travel day.
A lot of people were tired.
Some people traveled really far to get here.

[12:13] [Ed] There was a couple from Saudi Arabia.
Yeah.
We met them at the pool.
I met them at the pool.
You didn’t know who met them yet.
They’re from Australia via Saudi Arabia to Costa Rica.

[12:26] [Unknown] Dang.

[12:27] [Ed] So there you go.
There was like a 20 hour flight.
Oh man.
We had a…

[12:32] [Phoebe] Nine hour.

[12:33] [Ed] Nine hour plus flight.

[12:35] [Phoebe] Yeah.
Which normally you should take three or four.
But anyway, not going to get into that.
But you know, you’ve been there.
So yeah, here we are.
And so then today we wake up.
We get breakfast.

[12:49] [Unknown] Nice breakfast.

[12:50] [Phoebe] Practically nothing.
You know?
And to breakfast.
And everyone else is wearing practically nothing.
Which is awesome.
The food again.
Amazing.
And then we went on a kayak tour at nine o’clock.
Good morning.
It was amazing.
So much fun on the ocean.
It was really calm.
It was beautiful.

[13:08] [Ed] Betsy Pelicans.

[13:10] [Unknown] Some guy snorkeling.

[13:13] [Ed] Yeah.

[13:14] [Phoebe] Oh, we have to read and review this.

[13:16] [Unknown] Yes.

[13:17] [Phoebe] Our tour guide.

[13:18] [Ed] Our tour guide.
She was very cute.
She was very cute.
Costa weekend.
She said she’s going to be at the bar Tuesday or Thursday.
What I don’t know is if we can fraternize staff or not.
But I would seriously fraternize that particular girl.
She’s got some nice hips.

[13:37] [Phoebe] Boote.

[13:38] [Ed] Juicy thighs.
Yeah.
She’s seriously cute.
She’s very cute.
Very cute.
Very cute Costa.

[13:46] [Phoebe] Yes.
So fun.
And so then we come back.
And everyone is in the small hot tub.
When they called the hot tub pool.
It’s a smaller pool.

[13:56] [Ed] Which is 50 feet from the beach.
It’s like.

[14:00] [Phoebe] Where you can be naked.

[14:02] [Ed] From the beach.
And there’s this one up our lots of naked boobs.

[14:07] [Phoebe] Everyone was naked.
Yeah.
So it was nice.
No one was naked last night.
Everyone’s naked today.
And everyone is mostly naked in the large pool that I’m looking out at right now.
Mostly naked.

[14:20] [Unknown] You know what?

[14:22] [Ed] Totally naked is great for me.

[14:24] [Unknown] Yeah.

[14:26] [Phoebe] So that’s day one.
We’re only, you know, we’re like half a day to half a day.
And then tomorrow we will let you know what goes on tonight and tomorrow morning.

[14:35] [Ed] Right.
Because tonight’s theme is devil angels and devil.

[14:39] [Phoebe] Yes.
I’m the angel with a hidden devil inside.

[14:48] [Ed] So tomorrow we’ll let you know about all the angel and devil shenanigans we get into tonight.

[14:54] [Phoebe] Yes.
And hopefully the pineapple thruple.

[14:56] [Unknown] Yeah.

[14:57] [Ed] We really hope to get into a little bit of the pineapple thruple.
Yes.
That’s fun.

[15:03] [Phoebe] Let’s get back out there.
Because I’m ready to have some fun.

[15:08] [Ed] We gotta go party.

[15:09] [Phoebe] Miss everyone.

[15:10] [Unknown] Wish you were here.

[15:13] [Ed] Talk to you soon.
Bye-bye.
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[16:06] [Unknown] Oh, one last thing before you go.

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