Kissing is SO Good

[00:02] [Guest] You’re listening to Swinger University with Ed and Phoebe
Bringing you sexy lessons for sexy fun

[00:15] [Unknown] Here are your hosts Ed and Phoebe. Oh, hi
Are you recording? Oh, yeah, we recorded that. Oh, this is Phoebe and this is Ed bringing you another

[00:50] [Phoebe] sexy lesson
This time we decided to discuss the benefits of kissing and why it is so important
We’d like to think of kissing as a dance an equal partnership where one leads and one follows
But you know what I think it was best described by Michael Christian as an art and
craft

[01:15] [Ed] Fun facts about kissing
We’ll start with some fun stuff because
Kissing is all about fun. Yes

[01:26] [Unknown] 90% of the world’s population kisses. Now is that 90% of people
population

[01:36] [Ed] What is this?
90% of all creatures. Oh people people all right. Just checking

[01:45] [Phoebe] Yeah, some people don’t because of
It’s a it’s a cultural thing almost a religious thing. I
Didn’t dive real deep into it, but it’s
Has something to do with you know your spirit you you don’t want to kiss or like a photograph
Right, remember how people used to be afraid of photographs because it’s steel your spirit. Wow, right? Yeah, so in order to preserve
Fascinating. We never heard of that. Yes, but I’m glad I
Don’t live in that because I really like to think

[02:25] [Ed] Me too
One of three people kiss with eyes open now I
Go either way at least with kissing. Yeah me too
Sometimes I like my eyes closed sometimes I like to watch sometimes I’m
Kissing someone and looking some play selves like the other bed to see what’s going on right

[02:53] [Phoebe] So I have my reasons for opening my eyes and part of that was that it’s so close that most people can’t focus
So the automatic responses to just close the eyes

[03:07] [Ed] It’s pretty hard for me to see that close now. It is
Really hard for me to see that close now
dupe glasses
Interestingly enough French kiss or French kissing
Was introduced into the English vocabulary in 1923 and
Oddly enough, it was actually a an ethnic slur
Against the French culture
Because they were overly sexual

[03:50] [Phoebe] How terrible how terrible yeah, I know I don’t get it

[03:57] [Ed] But anyway, there you go. There you go. Overly sexual French
Lips have one of the thinnest layers of skin on the body with over one million nerve endings
So very thin skin and lots of nerve endings which means you can feel
Everything through your lips. Yeah, which is probably why kissing and suckling and
nibbling with your lips feels so good

[04:34] [Phoebe] Yes
And before we get into the health aspects, I did want to say
We’re basically calling ourselves out in this episode by
I don’t know if that’s the right term. We
We were not fully understanding
Why some individuals
Were not great kissers, especially if they had been with their partner for 20 years or more and that bothered me
When I had said that and then it bothered me that I couldn’t figure out why and then it dawned on me
Well, if you’ve had the same dance partner for 20 years, well, how would you know if you didn’t research it or try new things
In experiment

[05:25] [Unknown] then you wouldn’t know

[05:28] [Phoebe] And some of those many of those people at their high school sweethearts. So I get that

[05:36] [Ed] first time in the lifestyle
same partner since high school
Didn’t have a good
Person to practice with oh, but then

[05:47] [Phoebe] But what I don’t get is you’ve been in the lifestyle for 20 years

[05:53] [Ed] And you still haven’t had enough practical practice
Yeah to learn a few extra tricks and I’m not even talking like
great a top shelf
quadruple gold star kissing. I’m just talking

[06:17] [Unknown] What the fuck was that I know that I think I just got

[06:24] [Ed] violated
That kind of kissing like it’s wrong. You you’re not doing this right. Just stop
I know
I know
Thankfully that experience was pretty reason we’re more forgiving with

[06:40] [Phoebe] Okay, sex than we are with bad kissing

[06:44] [Ed] I mean
Everybody’s been practicing this since high school like even burgeon’s kiss

[06:51] [Phoebe] That’s true. It’s usually the first thing you do
Yes, it’s first base

[06:59] [Ed] I know it doesn’t make it easy for all the rest of this stuff

[07:05] [Phoebe] It kicks everything off. I guess that’s how do you have the fire without the match

[07:13] [Ed] It was a bucket of cold ice water. I’ll tell you that

[07:21] [Guest] Okay

[07:23] [Phoebe] So it’s okay. Let’s get healthy. Let’s get healthy
So kissing does release hormones
It releases all that great stuff. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin
Which obviously increases your mood
It reduces stress because it lowers the cortisol
It reduces your blood pressure, dilates your blood vessels, increases blood flow, reduces headaches and cramps
Yes, I say cramps
Increases sexual response
Primes the parasympathetic nervous system
Stimulating your glands

[08:03] [Unknown] Yeah

[08:05] [Phoebe] Decreases cavities. Okay, this is a little weird, but
It increases the saliva which helps wash away plaque. So hey, you know, which is that parasympathetic response

[08:16] [Ed] I had to look it up. I had to look up when parasympathetic was
Your salivary glands are part of your parasympathetic
system, nervous system
And so kissing kicks off this whole set of chemical reactions in your body
Getting everything all juiced up for all kinds of fun stuff. Right, which is why therapists will say to you

[08:44] [Phoebe] If
one of the
Techniques I had read about years ago was
You know, a couple goes to therapy. They’re they’re really disconnected
They haven’t had sex in a really really long time
They don’t even know where to start because they’re so disconnected
In the therapist one of the exercises is
This she he will say just start kissing
But you have to do it for at least oh, there’s a time limit at least a minute. I think it was right at least 60 seconds
for things to start
kicking in
For the hormones to start releasing and then it starts to feel
Really good could feel really awkward at first if you haven’t kissed your partner in three years
It’s gonna feel really strange to kiss them again
But if you just start and you do it for 60 seconds
Then
You’re back in the mojo. It’s like riding a bike. Yeah, right?

[09:43] [Ed] Interestingly enough
one of those glands that is also stimulated are the the mucus glands
and considering that the vagina and lubrication are
basically
another

[10:01] [Unknown] mucus membrane

[10:04] [Ed] I know for you kissing you starts to get all kinds of fluids kicked off. Oh, yeah, I get so turned on
So great the other thing that was really interesting those ties right into this
I was just reading an article and they were talking about
spontaneous sexual
stimulation like
That sudden urge to just have sex that’s always in the movies right like there’s no buildup to it
Just like all of a sudden boom. They like
Kicks in and they just have to have sex
It doesn’t work like that
This article was saying

[10:43] [Unknown] That

[10:44] [Ed] It’s a process by which
With frequency you have that sexually stimulated
Feeling happened right your your urge to have sex the more sex you have the more sex you want to have. Yes
and so
Here’s an example of
Kissing on a regular basis keeps the juices flowing not only in the relationship, but in your sexual attraction

[11:13] [Phoebe] right right
and the more sex oh and

[11:18] [Unknown] I’ll talk about this in one of my other episodes

[11:22] [Phoebe] I don’t think I’ve talked about it yet because I’m doing research on several other ones
But they talked about the importance of the vaginal health and having sex
Well into you menopause and the reasons for for that is
It keeps the vagina lubricated keeps the muscles
Intact keeping them from atrophy right and keeps the the vagina from actually shrinking

[11:53] [Unknown] so

[11:55] [Ed] It which can result in painful sex etc. It’s right not shrinking in like

[12:01] [Phoebe] So like anything you know you stop walking
Stop exercising eventually your body starts to stiffen up things start to atrophy
Don’t have frequency of more sex

[12:13] [Ed] That’s what all the experts are saying kiss more and have more sex

[12:19] [Phoebe] That’s right. How are we supposed to do that this whole social distancing thing?

[12:23] [Ed] Well, we just have to kiss each other a lot more okay and have more sex okay like the last few days. Oh
Yes, exactly like the last few days
Speaking of the last few days it burns calories so you burned a lot
I’ve been getting my cardio in. Yeah, you did
eight to ten calories per smooch now
You’re you’re not going to get a habit burger burned off by kissing
That’s a lot of kissing and a lot of chapstick
Yes to keep that amount of kissing going but you know
Calder it’s like a step
You know right you got to get your ten thousand steps in you got to get your
That’s what we need we need a kissing app an apple watch app that will
Track how many kissing calories you but that’s what I want to know. I don’t care about steps

[13:25] [Unknown] I want to know about

[13:27] [Ed] Pound calories all right
All right

[13:32] [Unknown] Oh my gosh

[13:33] [Phoebe] It’ll tone your face facial muscles
And it actually improves your immunity by exchanging friendly bacteria
And increases our ability to fight off harmful bugs

[13:55] [Ed] We need your help so that your community the very one you love and have so much fun with can also find our show
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It only cares about ratings and reviews

[14:44] [Unknown] We’d appreciate it and your community will really appreciate it
Thanks for listening

[14:55] [Ed] It also is a self-esteem booster
Oh yeah, it gives you those those hormones that get released those oxytocin and serotonin adopamine

[15:07] [Unknown] hormones

[15:08] [Ed] Make you feel loved and connected so it boosts your self-esteem
Yes, that’s a mention the fact that your partner is making out with you heavily
Or because this is a swinging podcast
Whichever partner you’re with if you’re kissing somebody else
That’s a pretty big boost to your self-esteem

[15:30] [Phoebe] Oh yeah, yeah, super fun

[15:33] [Ed] All right, let’s talk about technique

[15:36] [Phoebe] Do we want to tease him a little more and put the techniques last and
Talk about why we kiss

[15:44] [Ed] We could we could we could push the technique off just a little yeah, we’re we’re gonna tease you guys
So to give you some tricks we’re gonna save the tricks for the end tricks

[15:55] [Unknown] So

[15:59] [Phoebe] We talked about oxytocin levels a little bit
attachments created
Through those talk oxytocin levels you’re more connected
It is an
excellent
barometer for sexual compatibility which is very important for swinging

[16:20] [Ed] We often refer to it as the

[16:25] [Phoebe] swinging measuring stick

[16:27] [Ed] Well, we released the the the trial run before
Or the dress rehearsal. Oh, yeah, dress rehearsal the main act
Yeah, it means like an interview it hasn’t never failed us

[16:46] [Phoebe] So y’all get your kiss on

[16:51] [Ed] Get if you can kiss well. We suspect other things will also go very well
Not necessarily
But there’s been a pretty strong correlation between the two. Yeah, yeah

[17:06] [Unknown] and

[17:09] [Phoebe] all
kinds
of animals mammals
Birds

[17:16] [Unknown] Do it

[17:18] [Phoebe] Kissing such as people
Yeah, so elephant’s Gerald song

[17:24] [Guest] Beards do it bees do it even educated please do it

[17:32] [Phoebe] It’s true. Yeah, we’re not the only ones lots of lots of animals kiss we are just

[17:41] [Ed] Other kinds of animals

[17:44] [Phoebe] It helps you assess suitability
Which you know we already touched on and it is actually a biochemical
Thing so I’m gonna reference another song
Baroon five song animals
Maybe you think that you can hide. I can smell your scent for miles just like animals animals like animals

[18:13] [Unknown] Bear bones. Yes
right

[18:17] [Phoebe] We actually have the ability to
Identify an evolutionary
Advantages partner
According to the professor of immunology at rohampton university

[18:33] [Ed] Mr.
Folvio
Daquisito

[18:37] [Phoebe] So glad you said that because I know I was going to screw that up
You said that very well

[18:43] [Ed] You’re very good with languages three years of French. I’m a cunning linguist

[18:50] [Unknown] Ha

[18:59] [Phoebe] I love when you I love anyone talking at different language to me. It’s just so sexy

[19:07] [Unknown] I could roll off French limerics and you would be all right you need to do that one we’re in bed next time all right

[19:16] [Ed] Got a few limerics

[19:19] [Phoebe] Just don’t say yokiro tako bed

[19:23] [Ed] No, not commercials

[19:27] [Phoebe] Dr. Sarah johns an expert in human reproduction and
evolutionary psychology at the University of Kent states that we have the ability to detect a
Different immune response in someone else by kissing
Therefore making them more attractive
Because coming from an evolutionary standpoint
This is really important since any potential offspring will be better equipped to fight infectious disease and therefore
Survival of the species

[20:01] [Ed] Dun dun dun

[20:02] [Phoebe] Hence maroon five sniffing you out
Ba ba ba

[20:08] [Ed] Yeah, it all comes down to
Biology biochemistry

[20:14] [Unknown] This

[20:15] [Ed] This constant need to reproduce
Yeah, you don’t have to produce offspring, but

[20:23] [Unknown] You should try. I never knew

[20:26] [Phoebe] That we had that ability to detect someone else’s
immunity
She stated that basically our
olfactory
Senses sense sense of smell was shit, but
Kissing we could taste
someone’s

[20:46] [Unknown] immune

[20:48] [Phoebe] Strength, hmm or response
fascinating and that was
If it was compatible or attractive and however that all happens

[20:58] [Ed] I would love to know in our monkey brain way back
Right, I would love to know what that study looked like
And when the next study is going to be conducted because
I volunteer

[21:20] [Phoebe] All right, we’re

[21:22] [Ed] The last one you have down here is a behavior that’s transferred from
Being an infant and I suspect that has to do with breastfeeding and kind of like the oral stimulation that we’re all kind of used to yeah
I was breastfed
I still love breasts
Clearly, there’s a correlation much

[21:47] [Phoebe] I love breasts too

[21:50] [Ed] See that’s the answer who doesn’t love a big big nose booby
Titties are the answer to the entire I know
Problem right there

[22:05] [Unknown] Okay, I always the answer love is the answer
No titties titties of the answer yes, you had made a really fun reference earlier to

[22:16] [Ed] Oh kissing kissing and unleashing all kinds of things

[22:20] [Unknown] Yes

[22:25] [Ed] Yeah, for me, it’s more than just the oxytocin and the hormones

[22:32] [Unknown] Kissing makes me want to release my pants

[22:38] [Phoebe] Every single time every single time I know every time it’s it’s it’s magic
It’s magic. They just pull right off fall right off bam. Yeah

[22:52] [Ed] Or I just wear the kilt and then I don’t even have to take them off right now raise the kilt

[23:00] [Phoebe] All right, everyone techniques. Yeah, I want to know some techniques. These are some fun techniques

[23:05] [Ed] These are fun. So these are things to try so get out your notepad get your pencil out
We’re gonna take notes

[23:15] [Unknown] first technique
Yep

[23:18] [Ed] Lip lining
Trace
The tip of your tongue around the curve of lips
Especially the thin skin in the corners. Mm-hmm. So do some
Lip laps

[23:37] [Phoebe] Lip laps. I like it. Yeah, I like to lip lap
Something else with my lips

[23:46] [Ed] There you go. See it feels really good

[23:49] [Unknown] It

[23:51] [Ed] It does really good

[23:54] [Unknown] Okay

[23:56] [Phoebe] Back to kissing uh gentle twirl
Slide the tongue inside and twirl it around slowly
Allowing lips to passionately engulf your partner’s lips
Men of course
Preferred deeper. What are kissing? I don’t know why I said of course. I like it the same. I like it deep and wet
But you do I have noticed that

[24:26] [Ed] Mm-hmm so many ways do I like it

[24:35] [Guest] Here’s why we sail on virgin
It’s adults only
No kids screaming at breakfast no family buffet lines just champagne at noon
Late-night pool parties and people who actually want to be there

[24:52] [Unknown] the vibe

[24:54] [Guest] Think boutique hotel that happens to float
Tattoo parlors drag brunch restaurants you’d actually pay for on land
Plus when you’re looking to connect with other couples who know how to have fun
Let’s just say virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous
No wonder bread cruisers here just your people

[25:22] [Phoebe] And you’ll start kissing me and what
Which turns me on and then I start kissing you deep and wet

[25:31] [Ed] So it’s like that dance we’ll take a short recess and pause this you won’t notice because I’ll edit this out but
We’re gonna take a little
All right with the energy kiss uh-huh
Rest your tongue inside your partner’s mouth without moving
While pressing your lips
Passionately into your lover’s lips
And breathe through your nose. So this is kind of a tantric kiss. Uh-huh very little movement right just
closeness and pressing

[26:09] [Phoebe] We kind of do that when we’re having sex
It’s like this
mouth connection
Yeah, well really almost a kiss but

[26:20] [Unknown] Everything’s tiny

[26:21] [Ed] Can it did kind of
penetrative

[26:26] [Unknown] kissing and

[26:29] [Ed] Other things yes

[26:33] [Phoebe] sweet spot the space between your upper lips and teeth
It’s very sensitive. It’s basically like the frenulum of the penis
Slide your tongue inside and twirl it
Teasing around shallow space
Between your upper lips and teeth
Then move onto some deep french kissing

[27:02] [Ed] This this is the
Running your hands up under the bra style of kissing right this is this is
Feeling around before you get to the real thing. I love your
Your visual over there. Oh, I’m picture in the whole thing like I

[27:27] [Phoebe] Okay, this this next one

[27:30] [Unknown] This isn’t it oh

[27:33] [Ed] Sorry, this is a commentary on me right now and this whole
COVID
not
Doing enough like personal grooming thing. I see
Why
Phoebe threw this in here. This is
This is her
This is passive aggressive. I’m telling you right now
No, it’s not
Naked lips naked. I do I do love my naked
Try kissing with no facial hair now. I go between
shaving and and growing a bit of a a moustache
Go to you kind of a thing
But and and I feel this too and that’s kissing with having a moustache
It’s it’s not as good
I can’t get in there. I feel like there’s something in the way
There’s like a caterpillar stuck between us. Yeah

[28:39] [Unknown] and I

[28:42] [Ed] In a couple different ways I prefer to be shaved because I can get
Into it more and I’m not talking about kissing
I am kissing
I’m just not talking about lips. I mean I am talking about lips. Wait a second. What
It’s better if it’s trimmed close to the skin away from the lip. However
Even with that little bit of a layer
You don’t get that like skin on skin contact like there’s always something kind of in the way

[29:19] [Phoebe] Right unless you shave your moustache like Hitler or
Who is it with a super who wears a super tiny little thin stripe above

[29:32] [Ed] The bad guy
Yeah, the villain the villain
Except for the handlebar moustache guy and then you know right
We I mean, I like facial hair. I like the look of it. I do I do too, but
It kind of gets in the way and if you’re gonna have facial hair
Trim it. Yes, you can actually trim it above the lip so that it’s

[29:58] [Phoebe] Without looking too strange. Yeah, right, but even though it’s above the lip without looking strange
It’s still in the way, but it’s better

[30:10] [Ed] That’s because we use our entire faces when we’re kissing honey. It’s not just lips. I mean we’re like
Deep into it
Yeah, that yeah, that that was true the other day. Yeah, if you had I was I rubbed my whole face in it
I think you’re head up. Yeah, but we’re talking about kissing so I think we straight on to pick again

[30:38] [Guest] Sorry
Um

[30:42] [Ed] But yes, still kissing yes

[30:47] [Phoebe] Yes, yes, yes, so I I mean I I like a little higher. I do like a little hair too, but I

[30:57] [Unknown] I

[31:02] [Phoebe] Do prefer a naked lip

[31:05] [Ed] Just like the ladies a little trimmed
Yeah, well manicured. Yeah, it’s all good. It’s so good
But try shaving it too
At least in the the active areas

[31:20] [Phoebe] But what’s fun about going from a mustache to no mustache or beard to no beard
It’s kind of like
Ladies when you’ve got long nails and you
You can’t have nails anymore because of COVID and you’re and you’re like oh my god
I can feel my the tips of my fingers holy crap
So there’s all those sensory nerves on that skin that
You couldn’t feel before white because your nails were to you’ve got more skin in contact exactly
So it’s fun. I will periodically before even before I had big nails
Um, I’d grow up my natural nails and then I cut them back and I always loved that because I was like oh
New sensation
Yeah, it’s it’s kind of fun. I like it
Okay, well Ed. Oh my goodness
We’ve got some great a great reference for you. So I was doing the research and I came across this guy
William Kane, which I talked about earlier. He wrote a book called The Art of Kissing
Apparently his life changed over night what and he wrote this in

[32:39] [Ed] 91 and I was like it was a long time ago, right? I was like for me

[32:44] [Phoebe] Yeah, and and so what’s fascinating to me is I’m like oh, yeah, of course kissing everyone knows how to kiss
Oh, apparently not apparently not he writes his book. He’s an English professor. Yeah, yeah, yeah
He decides to write this book
He had no idea life changes overnight. He’s speaking overnight success
Yeah, speaking across
Country at all the colleges then he moves on to TV radio around the world
To help people kiss more than a hundred radio and TV programs and a spokesperson for Nivea Listerine crest others
You can listen to his interview on NPR. It’s a little five-minute snippet
It’ll be worth your time. He also
What’s his other name? He goes by
William Kane
The art of kissing is by William Kane, but he’s
That’s his pen name, but he’s Michael Christian

[33:48] [Unknown] So

[33:50] [Phoebe] It’s fascinating. It’s fascinating to me to learn about him and the fact that his book took off because so many people were so
interested in learning in learning how to kiss and I

[34:05] [Ed] It floored me. I had I had no idea. I take it for granted. I do too. Apparently
I was either
Practicing for a long time or was a natural or whatever, but
It’s I’ve never had any complaints. Of course every guy that ever utters those words. It’s probably not that good in bed
But I’ve gotten compliments about my ability to kiss

[34:34] [Unknown] But yeah, we’ve experienced enough

[34:39] [Ed] Misapps. I’ll use that word to know

[34:43] [Unknown] This book is

[34:47] [Ed] Needed by a lot of people

[34:51] [Phoebe] Just carry a few around with this and pass them out for me

[34:55] [Ed] Well, we’ll carry it in our go-back

[34:58] [Phoebe] Tonight is a no

[35:00] [Unknown] But here you go

[35:04] [Ed] Study up

[35:07] [Phoebe] Give us a call after you’ve read the book and practiced and with this jalo said what’s what’s there sick on the world of dance when they they’re like
They don’t get it. Yes, but they get a callback. Oh

[35:19] [Unknown] It’s a callback. Here’s a book. It’s not a hard. No, it’s a callback

[35:26] [Ed] Some homework little research little field study. Yeah, yeah, it’s fine practical hands-on

[35:36] [Phoebe] Oh my goodness. So fun. This episode was fun
So it’s a fun thing. Yeah, I’ll put his information in the references and you can it’ll be in the show notes for sure. Yes
Fascinating guy. I actually should get his book. I haven’t read it

[35:56] [Unknown] I have not either. I know. I need to I think I will all right. All right
So do what feels good

[36:08] [Phoebe] enjoy it
Pick up techniques from others
Maybe use it as a gauge for how good your interaction will be with your new play partner

[36:20] [Ed] the important thing is to
Feel and listen and learn from the cues that your partner is giving you this goes way beyond kissing

[36:33] [Unknown] Yeah

[36:34] [Ed] Look at what they’re doing giving you non-verbal signals right if you’re kissing right
They’re going to respond respond in a really good way if they’re pulling back
Well then we’re winsing and crying in pain

[36:54] [Phoebe] Try something else just
Do it gentle. Be observant ask questions
It’s not offensive to say
Do you like this
How about that? You know most people are honest
And if they’re and if they can’t say a woman will always go like if a woman doesn’t want to say that she doesn’t like it
To protect the man’s feelings and if he asks her and she goes
Then you know that’s probably not the best
But most likely she will verbalize if she really likes it

[37:39] [Ed] It’s if she can verbalize
True. Yeah, true. There’s been a lot of that in the last couple days too. Yeah, true
Sounds hope good sounds. I’ve been demanding that you tell me. I know. I know. I love that

[37:55] [Phoebe] I just never know exactly what you want to hear. Oh, you know exactly what I want to hear

[38:03] [Unknown] And on that note go out and kiss some people. Yes

[38:08] [Ed] Can’t get good at kissing. Yes do some practice
You’re isolated. You’re at home. You got nothing better to do, but
Kiss each other absolutely well at other things, but hey, it’s practice time

[38:25] [Unknown] Ding ding

[38:27] [Ed] Thanks for listening

[38:28] [Phoebe] Before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away
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[39:24] [Unknown] Oh one last thing before you go if this episode helped you in any way

[39:28] [Ed] The single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review
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