Hedonism 2 Review: First Impressions on Day 1 in Jamaica

[00:00] [Ed] We are in Jamaica, we’ve got, oh wait, hold on, red striped beer, because…

[00:07] [Unknown] Hi everyone, welcome to Jamaica.

[00:14] [Phoebe] We are at Heatonism 2.
This is our first time here, and our first time at any resort,
we reviewed many of them through hundreds of interviews,
and we were dying to come to this one,

[00:30] [Unknown] because we finally pulled the trigger.

[00:37] [Phoebe] We are going to give you our first impression right now.

[00:42] [Ed] We debated whether we went to Desire or Heato,
and through conversations with a lot of different people,
we were basically steered towards coming down to Heato
because of the type of crowd,
because of the type of activities that are here,
and really people tend to be a little bit more sexually active here at Heato.

[01:06] [Unknown] We’d even heard this morning, Desire and some of those other resorts,
being a little bit more rule-based,

[01:14] [Ed] and that Heato has less rules, especially for playtime around the pool,
and we saw a lot of playing around the hot tub pool area at the bar.

[01:23] [Phoebe] Yeah, and it was quite exciting.

[01:26] [Unknown] It was.

[01:27] [Ed] Obviously you have to fly to get here, unless you live in Jamaica,
and we actually heard last night, there were a fair number of people
who are from the island of Jamaica
that come here on their vacations and enjoy the wonderful experience
that they can have here at Heato.

[01:40] [Unknown] But for those of us who live in more vanilla places, less tropical,
if you’re West Coast, you probably want to fly to Miami

[01:56] [Ed] or to Dallas, spend the night, and then fly in,
or fly to the islands the day before,
because you’re not going to be here for a full day.
So don’t waste your money, fly in the day before,
stay someplace else, and then drive in.
I mean, there’s five minutes from here.
You can take a taxi in super fast to get here.
We were here right in the morning, and a way we went.

[02:19] [Unknown] Now, if you’re East Coast, then you can fly here in a single day,

[02:24] [Ed] consider doing it in one day.

[02:27] [Unknown] But I’ll say, the way airlines are going these days,

[02:30] [Ed] even getting an early morning flight,
a lot of times those flights get bumped,
and weather or other things, depending on when you’re flying,
you still may not get here until two o’clock in the afternoon,
and you have blown an entire half a day.

[02:44] [Phoebe] Another pro tip that you want to consider is get here that day early,
and check in is at round two or three.
So you’re here at nine or eleven.
Make sure you pack a beach bag with your sunscreen,
your bathing suit, your sun hat, glasses, whatever.
You need for your time here while you’re waiting for your room to be open.
And because you can’t easily crack into your suitcases,

[03:09] [Unknown] get all that stuff, and then you just hit the resort, the beach, and go for it.

[03:15] [Ed] Yeah, and you start drinking right away, or partying right away,
or whatever in white or right away.
You suitcases are basically stacked up in the lobby,
so like, pawing through them in the middle of the lobby,
it’s not really easy to do, so skip that, bring yourself.

[03:32] [Phoebe] First impression, it’s an older resort if you are used to the Houghton Horror.

[03:38] [Ed] I’ll make the big leap and go four seasons, right?
If you’re expecting luxury gold-plated toilets,
you’re not going to get that here,
but to put it into realistic perspectives,
it’s as good as any four-star hotel that we’ve stayed at,
in Sacramento, or actually better than some of the places we stayed in in Miami
and Fort Lauderdale before the cruise,
they were pretty rundown there.
So here, older resort, they do their best to maintain it.
I mean, there’s guys out here breaking the leaves right now as we sit here,
so they maintain the property.
But it’s a jungle island, it’s humid, things rust,

[04:23] [Unknown] everything’s not perfect.

[04:26] [Phoebe] I wouldn’t say things are rusty here.

[04:28] [Ed] No, I can see spots of rust on the ceiling fan here and there.
We’re nitpicking at that point.
It’s really nice, the AC works, the rooms are really nice.

[04:41] [Phoebe] Room service every day, things are very clean.

[04:44] [Ed] Which kind of brings us to the rest of the service,
which is food and alcohol.

[04:53] [Phoebe] Food is top notch, it’s pretty darn good.
I would say it’s better than the cruise food,
but even then that’s hard to compare.
It depends on which cruise line you’re eating food on.
The cruise line has different food, which chef they brought on.

[05:12] [Ed] What day of buffet is rotating through?

[05:15] [Phoebe] What’s in season and here you’re going to have food that is
based on the culture, to make the culture still a lot of chicken,

[05:28] [Unknown] things like that, and I find it fabulous.

[05:32] [Phoebe] I’m a big food lover, so I’m absolutely loving all clams and fish.

[05:39] [Unknown] I don’t even know what else I ate last night.

[05:42] [Phoebe] There’s a bunch of stuff that I didn’t know the names of,
and I just looked tasty and so I was just chowing it down.
So food, really, really good, and that’s just the buffet.
There are three other restaurants, flame, sushi restaurant,
and another one I can’t remember the name of.
So you have that option.

[05:59] [Ed] We’re going to explore and find those other restaurants
and be able to give you more information on them.
There’s plenty of good food choices.
Lots of fruit, lots of…
If you’re into pastries and desserts,
tons of different choices for desserts.

[06:13] [Phoebe] We also heard there’s a lobster,
baked, fried, broil, something,
every Friday night on the beach, so I can’t wait for that.

[06:22] [Ed] Yeah, that’ll be nice.

[06:23] [Phoebe] What are you going to do?
Are you going to like lobster?

[06:25] [Ed] Oh, I love lobster.
Okay, so we’re going to do that.
I love lobster.

[06:28] [Phoebe] Entertainment?
Oh, wait.
What were you going to do?

[06:31] [Ed] I can’t skip the alcohol.

[06:32] [Phoebe] We cannot skip the alcohol.

[06:34] [Ed] A little bit of a personal background with this.
We’ve been on the cruises before.
We never buy the drink package.
We don’t recommend the drink package.
I know the cruise lines are going to hate us for saying that,
but if you are a heavy drinker,

[06:46] [Unknown] like you are borderline alcoholic, alcoholic?

[06:49] [Ed] Yeah, then get the drink package.
I’m making a little bit of a joke,
but we’ve done the math,
and it’s a lot of drinks.

[06:58] [Phoebe] Right, but I will say,
in favor of the cruise line,
if you do buy the drink package,
it is kind of nice to just flash your badge.
It’s one and done, and you forget about it.
And a lot of people like the ease of that,
and they’re okay with spending the extra money
even if they don’t actually bring those dollars.
Right.
You’re paying for the convenience,
and I think that’s what it is.

[07:21] [Ed] Yeah, and there’s specialty drinks too.
You can get your Starbucks coffees.
Those are all included.
I think they’re all included.
There’s sodas, there’s all that.
That’s the cruise.

[07:30] [Phoebe] But that’s the cruise.

[07:31] [Ed] Yeah.
Here, everything’s included.
You don’t have to show any ID.
You don’t have to whip out your cruise pass.
Nope.
You basically walk up to the bar and say,
fill her up.
Fill her up.

[07:44] [Unknown] You can get water refills regularly.

[07:46] [Ed] They give you a water bottle when you check in,
which is really good.
They don’t want a bunch of drunk people here
who are passing out and dying of each other.
Yeah, it’s flitting their hood up

[07:56] [Phoebe] and like somebody did on day one.
We will mention many things.

[07:59] [Unknown] Thank you.
And you can get anything that you want.

[08:04] [Ed] And it’s good, top shelf liquor.
And you can tell them how you want it next.

[08:08] [Phoebe] So say you want it in an tonic,
with two shots of flying juice.
They’ll do it.
Yeah.
So yeah, it’s pretty nice.
And you also can bring your own cup.

[08:17] [Unknown] Yep.

[08:18] [Phoebe] We recommend the Yeti-like cups.

[08:22] [Unknown] Keep them insulated.

[08:23] [Ed] Keep your ice cold.

[08:24] [Phoebe] You can fill out full of water to hydrate.
And then you can fill it full of alcohol
when you’re done drinking your water.
And it’s great.
And they fill them up.
It’s awesome.
So you spend less time going back and forth to the bar.

[08:35] [Unknown] Right.

[08:36] [Ed] And Yeti, if you’re watching this
and you’d like to sponsor us,
we’d be happy to.
We drink out of your mugs all the time.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
We got the custom engraving for our mugs this time.
We got our logo on them.
We got our names on them.

[08:47] [Phoebe] We got them with the handles,
because it’s just so easy to have.
That’s incredible.

[08:51] [Ed] The one warning that I will give you,
it’s really nice and convenient to be able to walk up
and get any drink you want any time of day,
pretty much anywhere on the resort.
But it’s also bad that you can walk up any time of day,

[09:04] [Unknown] get anything you want,

[09:05] [Ed] and drink as much as you want.
The one of the first stories we heard
was centering around that water bottle
and being sure to hydrate was,
yeah, our first trip to Hito,
we drank a lot,
and we pretty much passed out that night.
We don’t remember much of what happened.
So I wouldn’t recommend going that route,
but to each their own,
and if you hydrate regularly,
then you should be pretty good.

[09:31] [Phoebe] Entertainment was pretty good.
It is nightly.
When you’re done eating,
then the entertainment begins,
and then they have a disco
and a piano bar
that starts up once the entertainment is done.
How would you describe the entertainment?

[09:49] [Ed] We’ve been to a few shows.
We’ve been to concerts,
and we’ve watched kind of like that level of performance.

[09:55] [Phoebe] So we’ve been, as we’ve said earlier,

[09:57] [Ed] to the list performances.
If you’re looking for that level of entertainment,
these are amateur performers.
They choreograph their own stuff.
The band was actually really good.

[10:07] [Phoebe] There was a band.

[10:09] [Ed] During dinner, they were playing.
There was a three-piece band playing.

[10:13] [Phoebe] They’re actually really good.

[10:15] [Ed] The musicians are great.
Afterwards, there’s a little bit of a dance routine.
Oh, it’s good.
Like I said, it’s fun and it’s sexy.
And you’re mostly there for kind of being inspired
to go do other fun things afterwards.

[10:29] [Phoebe] Right.
So that’s it.
Thank you for watching.
And we will do another follow-up
as we progress.
So keep coming back to see what we say.

[10:43] [Unknown] Oh, one last thing before you go.

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[11:08] [Unknown] forward slash review.
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