How to Give Great Cunnilingus: The Ultimate Guide to Going Down

[Guest] Welcome to Swinger University.[Guest] Your horizontal enrichment program.[Guest] Bringing you sexy lessons for sexy fun.[Guest] Here are your hosts.[Guest] Ed and Phoebe.[Ed] This is Ed.[Ed] Today, we're talking about Conalingus.[Ed] Oh my.[Ed] Pleasuring your lady friends with your mouth.[Ed] Lady friends.[Ed] Much like our Folatio episode, it's more than your mouth,[Ed] but it's mostly about the tongue and lips,[Ed] and what you can do with them to make her feel good.[Ed] Many women love Conalingus because it focuses heavily[Ed] on stimulating the clitoris,[Ed] and therefore is more likely to make her orgasm.[Unknown] Statistics.[Ed] Between 70 and 80% of women need[Ed] literal stimulation to climax,[Ed] yet many women feel self-conscious about receiving it.[Ed] It's a very intimate act.[Ed] His face is down in your parts.[Unknown] Well, why do you do it?[Ed] Oh, golly, I have no idea.[Ed] For her, there's this vulnerability.[Unknown] It's a little intimidating.[Ed] You are self-conscious about it,[Ed] and I'm not going to relay this story.[Ed] Phoebe's going to tell her story about it,[Ed] but I empathize with her.[Ed] I understand what she's talking about.[Unknown] Growing up going to school,[Phoebe] a parochial school wearing the uniform,[Phoebe] a little plaid skirt,[Phoebe] knee-high socks, all that stuff.[Phoebe] Tell me more.[Unknown] White shirt, classic Catholic girls outfit.[Ed] Phoebe's a Catholic girl in many respects.[Phoebe] My brain was pretty well washed[Phoebe] with do's and don'ts[Phoebe] and what's right and wrong and all that stuff.[Phoebe] Apparently, according to that mindset,[Phoebe] I didn't know a whole lot about my body,[Phoebe] and I knew what felt good[Phoebe] by makeshift dildos[Phoebe] and writing the couch kitchen[Phoebe] down in my basement,[Unknown] the little ribbing.[Phoebe] What do they call that?[Phoebe] The cordage.[Phoebe] Yeah, oh god, that felt good.[Phoebe] Of course, I covered it with a towel or pillowcase.[Phoebe] But I never really touched myself,[Phoebe] so I wasn't familiar with my parts.[Phoebe] I never looked down there,[Phoebe] and so I graduate,[Phoebe] I'm out of my own.[Phoebe] I meet up with this man,[Phoebe] who's about 10 years my senior,[Phoebe] and we get intimate,[Phoebe] and he decides he wants to go down on me,[Phoebe] and I'm like, wait, what?[Phoebe] What are you talking about?[Phoebe] Why? That's weird.[Phoebe] It was weird.[Phoebe] It was like a foreign to me.[Phoebe] Had no idea.[Phoebe] This was a thing.[Phoebe] Had no clue what oral sex was.[Phoebe] None.[Phoebe] Tragic.[Phoebe] Absolutely none.[Phoebe] Tragic.[Phoebe] I thought it was the weirdest thing ever,[Phoebe] and giving oral sex.[Phoebe] I thought was the weirdest thing ever.[Phoebe] I had to really work[Phoebe] at training my brain[Phoebe] to think that it wasn't disgusting.[Ed] Now you just work it.[Phoebe] Oh yeah, all those thoughts are gone now.[Phoebe] So I had been thoroughly programmed[Phoebe] for something completely different[Phoebe] than where I am today.[Unknown] So the oral sex aspect of it also,[Unknown] while I overcame my brain thinking[Phoebe] this is disgusting,[Phoebe] and now this is pleasurable,[Phoebe] it was still a very vulnerable act for me,[Phoebe] and uncomfortable for me to express pleasure,[Phoebe] just to lay back and express pleasure and be vulnerable,[Phoebe] and not have to be active[Phoebe] in that role of sexual interaction.[Unknown] Right.[Phoebe] So I mean, I was,[Phoebe] maybe that was also part of programming,[Phoebe] whether you please the man,[Phoebe] or it's your job to be a caretaker,[Unknown] or you're the one to be the person[Phoebe] to do everything, right?[Phoebe] So to be vulnerable,[Phoebe] lay back, and just accept.[Ed] Just take it, baby.[Phoebe] That.[Phoebe] Just take it, right?[Unknown] So yeah, it's been a process.[Phoebe] It has been a process.[Phoebe] No.[Ed] Now, there's also some self-consciousness[Ed] in terms of vaginal health,[Ed] odor, there's this preconceived notion[Ed] that I think a lot of women have that, like, am I fresh?[Ed] I mean, there's a whole market for products.[Ed] Right.[Unknown] You see the commercials all the time[Ed] if you see commercials anymore about douching[Phoebe] and vaginal sprays.[Phoebe] So you've been in the car all day,[Phoebe] you've been at the amusement park[Phoebe] or something, or you're on a bike ride,[Phoebe] and all of a sudden your guy wants[Phoebe] to whip your pants down in the cornfield,[Phoebe] after you've been on a bike for two hours sweating[Phoebe] and, like, go down on you,[Phoebe] you're like,[Phoebe] what are you crazy?[Phoebe] I probably smell.[Phoebe] But no, he loved it.[Ed] Uh-huh.[Unknown] No, it's good that way.[Guest] It's a self-consciousness.[Ed] It's a what?[Ed] It's a self-cleaning process.[Guest] But still, it's like,[Guest] you're like, wait, I've been sweating for two hours down.[Ed] I get it.[Ed] Everybody's heard of ball sweat.[Ed] I mean, it's a thing.[Ed] So yeah, I get the self-consciousness of it.[Ed] Right.[Ed] But you can't be self-conscious.[Ed] I get the two-hour bike ride.[Unknown] Right.[Ed] And then sex, although, you know,[Ed] if that's your thing and you're,[Ed] and it's not bad, then go for it.[Ed] Right.[Ed] But I understand.[Unknown] Right.[Ed] So there's another aspect to this,[Ed] besides the whole vulnerability and the self-consciousness.[Ed] There's trust, right?[Ed] Mm-hmm.[Ed] This guy has teeth and lips.[Ed] Mm-hmm.[Ed] In one of your most sensitive and intimate places.[Guest] Peep and lips.[Ed] I can imagine it's a lot like[Ed] when a woman starts to go to town on your balls.[Ed] Mm.[Ed] Yes.[Unknown] It's a little nerve-wracking.[Ed] I know.[Phoebe] I think you're still nervous about that.[Ed] Oh, I'm very nervous about that.[Ed] I know.[Phoebe] You're still having gotten comfort.[Unknown] You like it.[Unknown] I had to shift.[Guest] You just bounced it as chair.[Ed] I had to adjust myself.[Ed] It is.[Ed] So I get it.[Guest] You're so funny.[Ed] And for, in my experience,[Ed] especially with you,[Unknown] that just attacking the clit,[Ed] I mean, going straight towards it.[Phoebe] Mm-hmm.[Ed] It's not comfortable.[Phoebe] For me, no.[Ed] It's like pins and needles.[Phoebe] Yes.[Phoebe] It's extremely sensitive for me.[Unknown] You got to warm it up a little bit.[Phoebe] Yes.[Phoebe] Mm-hmm.[Phoebe] It's almost…[Phoebe] I think of it as desensitizing it gently.[Ed] Yeah, in the most delicate and…[Phoebe] Right.[Ed] …sexual way of desensitizing it.[Ed] But yeah, you're right.[Ed] You kind of warm up to it.[Unknown] Mm-hmm.[Ed] You expect probably what it is[Ed] is you're bringing more blood flow to it,[Ed] and so the nerves are buffered a little bit[Ed] by the inflamed tissue.[Ed] But we're getting early.[Phoebe] Science.[Unknown] Inflamed.[Ed] What's that?[Ed] Inflamed tissue.[Unknown] It's intimate.[Guest] Mm-hmm.[Ed] The woman is being pleasureed.[Ed] The man is giving pleasure with no stimulation on his part.[Ed] It's a very giving intimate act.[Unknown] You were like up in it.[Ed] With your face.[Ed] I mean, that's pretty intimate.[Phoebe] So, this is…[Phoebe] We're still in the way.[Phoebe] Do it.[Phoebe] Vulnerability.[Phoebe] Trust.[Phoebe] Intimacy.[Phoebe] And then number four is power.[Ed] Yes.[Unknown] And this is one of the aspects that I really like.[Ed] And that's this sense of control over her body.[Ed] It gets off on this.[Ed] And pleasuring her.[Ed] It's kind of hot.[Ed] To make a woman squirm around on your face.[Unknown] Mm-hmm.[Ed] It's very sexy.[Phoebe] It gets very competitive during 69.[Ed] Uh-huh.[Ed] It's a little bit of a tug of war.[Phoebe] Uh-huh.[Phoebe] But Ed always wins.[Phoebe] I always…[Phoebe] I can't…[Unknown] I can't keep up with that tug of war.[Ed] Mm.[Phoebe] Ed whips out like some special technique[Phoebe] and I'm like, oh god, I can't focus right now.[Phoebe] Oh.[Ed] Magic.[Ed] Magic mouth tricks.[Ed] The other thing that's really good about it is[Ed] there's less focus on penetration.[Ed] There's more focus on the clitoris.[Ed] So really, you're concentrating on what is making her feel good.[Ed] Penetration is a little bit of a reciprocal act, right?[Ed] Mm-hmm.[Ed] You're feeling good, she's feeling good, maybe.[Ed] You don't know.[Ed] You hope she is.[Ed] But it starts to feel really good[Ed] and sometimes you kind of forget about what she's feeling[Ed] and that's not so good.[Ed] But with oral sex,[Ed] it's all about her with a focus on the clitoris.[Ed] And there's a secret about the clitoris[Ed] that we're going to get into if you don't know.[Ed] And as we've read,[Ed] and as we said in the statistics,[Ed] focusing on the clitoris is more likely to make her orgasm,[Ed] which is great.[Unknown] Risks.[Unknown] I call sexual activity.[Phoebe] There are risks of oral transmission,[Phoebe] of STIs, and HIV.[Phoebe] So if you get an STI from oral sex,[Phoebe] it's probably because you also had vaginal or anal sex[Phoebe] and it would be because of factors like very poor oral health.[Phoebe] Maybe you have some sores in your mouth.[Phoebe] You pre-ajaculate or ejaculate from an infected partner.[Phoebe] You've got contact with menstrual blood[Phoebe] or the presence of other STIs.[Ed] So is your dentist likes to tell you[Ed] brush and floss regularly[Ed] so that you don't get an STI when you're giving oral sex?[Phoebe] Yes.[Phoebe] So if your gums are healthy,[Phoebe] they can protect you from an STI.[Phoebe] I'm not kidding you.[Unknown] As well as gingivitis and halitosis.[Ed] That's all good.[Phoebe] In addition, your risk of getting HIV[Phoebe] from anal or vaginal sex is much higher.[Phoebe] So oral sex is a little bit safer.[Ed] And that's why we found that most swingers[Ed] don't resort to dental dams and condoms for oral sex.[Ed] Besides the fact that latex tastes terrible.[Unknown] Oh yeah.[Ed] It's a lower risk.[Ed] And from what I understand from the statistics,[Ed] please check with your doctor.[Ed] Not medical professionals, but significantly lower risks.[Ed] Right.[Phoebe] And you can find those statistics on the CDC.[Phoebe] They have great information.[Ed] Numbers, science.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] It's beautiful.[Unknown] Yes.[Phoebe] The basics.[Phoebe] Every vagina is different.[Ed] Yes, they are.[Phoebe] And this is one of the best parts.[Unknown] Yeah.[Unknown] Looks so much variety.[Phoebe] Lips, hair, clitoris,[Phoebe] all beautiful and interesting to look at.[Phoebe] Never used to think that until you showed me that book[Phoebe] of the front top, huh?[Ed] Yes.[Phoebe] The book, the guy who photographed all those people[Phoebe] and took molds.[Ed] Yes.[Phoebe] Of their impressions.[Ed] Of all their flowers.[Phoebe] Their vulva.[Ed] Yeah, I think the book was actually called vulva[Ed] or something like that.[Phoebe] Oh, yeah.[Phoebe] I was saying, yeah.[Ed] What's great about it.[Ed] And so a lot of women are self-conscious about[Ed] what their vagina looks like.[Ed] A lot.[Phoebe] Why is that ed?[Ed] Well, because porn has these neatly trimmed little[Ed] labia.[Unknown] Now, what the dirty truth is,[Ed] they were either born that way,[Ed] or they paid a surgeon to crop them.[Ed] Yeah.[Ed] Into what they thought was the ideal.[Unknown] And I got to tell you,[Ed] it really disturbs me that women are chopping up[Ed] their vaginas to appeal to some aesthetic someplace[Ed] because I can tell you,[Ed] at least from my perspective,[Ed] I've never met an ugly vagina.[Ed] They're all beautiful.[Phoebe] Vulva.[Ed] Small lips, big lips,[Ed] whatever.[Phoebe] Raggedy lips.[Unknown] Nice juicy puffy lips.[Unknown] I know.[Phoebe] It's all good.[Phoebe] It's fascinating.[Ed] It's fascinating.[Ed] And they all feel good.[Unknown] So what the hell is your problem?[Ed] I know.[Ed] I know.[Phoebe] I know.[Phoebe] It's weird how media[Phoebe] and porn will show you[Phoebe] the perfect, or what we think is perfect or normal.[Phoebe] And in the real world, honestly,[Phoebe] it's not.[Phoebe] In fact, I have seen[Phoebe] the largest variety of cock[Phoebe] in my life[Phoebe] by being a swinger.[Phoebe] Yeah.[Phoebe] Had no clue.[Ed] The whole range.[Phoebe] I've been blessed[Phoebe] with men that have had very similar size,[Phoebe] girth, and length penises.[Phoebe] I don't know how.[Phoebe] Maybe I'm the,[Unknown] I don't know.[Ed] You're just a cock magnate, huh?[Ed] I got lucky.[Phoebe] Or something.[Phoebe] I don't know what it is.[Phoebe] So,[Unknown] I mean, I was never with a,[Phoebe] with a porn star penis[Phoebe] like 11 inches.[Phoebe] I mean, I am, but not like.[Ed] Well, no, I'm saying you actually had sex[Ed] with a porn star.[Phoebe] Oh, I did.[Unknown] I did.[Phoebe] Oh, and you know what?[Phoebe] I did have sex with a guy[Phoebe] who was so long that he couldn't[Phoebe] get at all in me.[Unknown] Only if it was anal,[Unknown] which we did try.[Phoebe] And we did.[Phoebe] We did it.[Phoebe] We just try it.[Ed] Where there's a will.[Ed] There's a way.[Ed] There's a way.[Ed] You can't get the whole thing.[Unknown] Oh, you know what?[Phoebe] It was two people.[Unknown] I was,[Unknown] I was a little bit.[Ed] Not two at the same time.[Phoebe] No, no, no, no, no, no.[Ed] Okay, because I was going to say that's[Unknown] happened recently, but.[Phoebe] Uh, yeah, there's two people.[Phoebe] Yes.[Phoebe] But he wasn't the longest.[Ed] Phoebe's had so much cock[Ed] that she can't remember[Ed] all of the cocks that she's had.[Phoebe] It was interesting when Ed and I[Phoebe] got together and we're like,[Phoebe] okay, how many partners have you had?[Unknown] Four.[Phoebe] Crickets, crickets, crickets.[Phoebe] Ed's like,[Phoebe] are you still counting?[Phoebe] Hold on.[Phoebe] Crickets, crickets, crickets.[Phoebe] Ed's like, I can count on one hand,[Phoebe] like, really.[Ed] Yeah, you know, see those clicker[Ed] things when you go into the auditorium?[Unknown] She was like, I'm like,[Ed] I'll come back when you're done,[Ed] because.[Unknown] All right.[Ed] We need your help so that your community,[Ed] the very one you love and have so much fun[Ed] with can also find our show.[Ed] Here's a really easy way to do that.[Ed] If you're listening on Apple[Ed] podcasts or Spotify,[Ed] hit that follow button[Ed] and leave us a rating.[Ed] If you're watching on YouTube,[Ed] subscribe and turn on notifications.[Ed] We can't emphasize enough how much[Ed] this helps the swinger community[Ed] and it truly is up to you[Ed] to make that happen.[Ed] It makes a massive difference[Ed] in whether new listeners can even[Ed] find us.[Ed] And here's the thing.[Ed] When someone searches[Ed] a swinger podcast,[Ed] the algorithm doesn't care[Ed] how good our content is[Ed] or how long we've been around.[Ed] It only cares about ratings[Unknown] and reviews.[Ed] We'd appreciate it.[Ed] And your community[Unknown] will really appreciate it.[Unknown] Thanks for listening.[Phoebe] I don't…[Phoebe] I didn't ever…[Phoebe] I don't know.[Phoebe] I just thought I was normal.[Phoebe] Maybe…[Phoebe] Maybe it was…[Phoebe] You were extra special.[Phoebe] It was a side-effective thing.[Phoebe] Catholic girl for so long.[Phoebe] I don't know.[Phoebe] I had to make up her last time.[Unknown] I said, I thought all the girls[Ed] had this much cock.[Phoebe] Okay.[Ed] Smells.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] This is what women are…[Ed] I think most self-conscious about[Ed] when they've got a guy[Ed] with his face[Ed] down there.[Ed] Yes.[Ed] There's…[Ed] I'll tell you right now.[Ed] There's always a scent.[Ed] Not a smell.[Ed] Not a stink.[Ed] A scent.[Guest] Ooh, I like the way you say it.[Unknown] This is okay.[Ed] Every woman has[Ed] a particular bouquet[Ed] to her.[Guest] It's…[Unknown] It's a strong,[Unknown] delicious smell.[Unknown] Now,[Ed] yes, there can be[Ed] bad smells.[Ed] If it smells fishy[Ed] or off,[Ed] and you'll smell it,[Unknown] because it's very strong,[Ed] it only happens sometimes,[Ed] and that's usually[Ed] only when there's[Ed] an infection, right?[Ed] Yeah.[Ed] You've got a yeast infection[Ed] or you've got a UTI.[Unknown] Right.[Ed] Other than that,[Ed] yeah, there's always[Ed] kind of a smell[Ed] that you're going to smell,[Ed] a scent.[Ed] Or a BV.[Ed] Yeah, BV is the other one.[Ed] But that…[Ed] We're talking about the exception.[Ed] Those are infections.[Ed] Right.[Ed] There's a colony of bacteria[Ed] that have decided to invade[Ed] and conquer.[Phoebe] And it makes sense[Phoebe] because any infection[Phoebe] in the body does have an odor.[Ed] Right.[Ed] I mean, you've cut yourself before,[Ed] or, you know, you've[Ed] had something go on[Ed] where there's an infection.[Ed] It has an oral fresh, right?[Phoebe] It has an oral fresh, right?[Phoebe] That's the byproduct[Ed] of an infection.[Ed] Yeah.[Ed] Yeah.[Unknown] So the bacteria eat things[Ed] and their gas that they give off[Ed] has an odor to it.[Ed] So it's not pleasant.[Ed] Okay.[Ed] That is not what we're talking about.[Ed] Let's get out of the bad odor.[Phoebe] I know.[Unknown] Totally.[Ed] I think a lot of women[Ed] feel like that's what any smell is,[Ed] right?[Ed] Like it shouldn't smell like[Ed] something.[Ed] It shouldn't smell like anything.[Ed] It should be like…[Unknown] Because there's an oasis[Ed] long, free detergent.[Ed] That fresh scent[Ed] that comes with the dry[Ed] of the pot.[Ed] It should.[Unknown] No.[Ed] It should.[Ed] Why?[Ed] Because.[Ed] Girl.[Unknown] Women[Ed] smell.[Ed] And flick your arm[Ed] before you put, you know,[Ed] bodies spray on it[Ed] or something right now.[Ed] Skin[Ed] has a taste to it.[Ed] There's[Ed] something yummy[Ed] about nibbling[Ed] on somebody's lips[Unknown] lips, or their neck, or their earlobes, right? And if you start spraying a bunch of ax-body[Ed] spray on it, it doesn't taste very good, does it, ladies? So don't spray whatever the strippers[Ed] put on that's like peaches and glitter. Yeah, that's nuts. It smells good when the strippers[Unknown] are doing it, but not when you're eating it. Yeah. So don't try and cover it up. It's not[Ed] a bad thing. There's always a little bit of this like moist, lovely, luscious, earthy,[Unknown] yum smell. Okay. Now that we're on the, the smell, we're going to go through the rest of[Unknown] the senses. The other one is taste. Oh, my. So diet, hydration, medications, these can[Ed] all affect your taste, right? Your flavor. Yeah. So if you eat things that are strong,[Ed] you're going to taste strong. This happens with semen too. So, you know, the whole story[Ed] about eating pineapple to sweeten semen, think about what you eat. If you drink four cups[Ed] of coffee a day, you're probably going to taste a little strong. So think about hydrating,[Ed] which is good for you anyway. And eating good, cleansing things that help with your hydration[Ed] and your taste. Right. And just as a note, I love the taste of vagina. Just saying, you're[Unknown] sticking your tongue in there. Every chance I can. All right, vulva anatomy. You may have[Phoebe] heard me mention the vulva earlier. It is the outer part of the female genitals. This includes[Phoebe] the opening of a vagina or vestibule, the labia, majoria, majora, your outer lips, the labia,[Phoebe] majora, the inner lips, and the clitoris, the monospoobis, pubis. I never say that right. It's Latin.[Unknown] I know you and your language. Maybe you ought to talk about this because this is all I like. This is[Unknown] your like your part. So here's the thing, right? You don't just jump straight to the clit. No,[Ed] I kind of got to work up to it. Just like we said before, it's sensitive. You've, you've got to[Ed] coax the kitty out, right? You can't just jump on the cat and start petting it. You got to[Guest] let coax it out. Gentle. Offer it enticements. So spend time kissing down her body,[Ed] start at her neck, her ears, her lips work down between her breasts, across her belly, down her thighs,[Ed] then come back up and start working on the mound right above the vagina. So don't go straight to[Unknown] the pussy. Work around the pussy. You got it. You can't just go straight for the belly. You got[Ed] to work around it. Yes. This warms her up. It gets her ready for more direct contact.[Ed] Yes. This is the blood flow thing that I was talking about earlier. As a woman gets more excited,[Ed] blood flows to her vagina, her whole thing. Clitoris, the inner, the outer lips, they all start[Ed] to fill up with blood. Why? Because they're getting ready for sex. So you gotta excite her and get her[Ed] primed. Plus it's a tease. If you go straight to the vagina, you're not hinting to her that there's[Ed] more to come. You've gone straight to the meal. Slow down and nibble around the edges before[Unknown] you get the meat in the middle. Here's why we sail on Virgin. It's adults only. No kids screaming[Guest] at breakfast. No family buffet lines. Just champagne at noon. Late night pool parties and people[Unknown] who actually want to be there. The vibe? Think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors,[Guest] drag brunch, restaurants you'd actually pay for on land. Plus when you're looking to connect with[Unknown] other couples who know how to have fun, let's just say Virgin attracts a very specific type of[Unknown] adventurous. No wonder bread cruisers here. Just your people. It's kind of like that dessert you[Phoebe] get at a really fancy restaurant. I always that that drizzles the desserts in the center and then[Phoebe] they drizzle all the chocolate or the raspberry stuff all over the plate in this nice decoration.[Phoebe] What do I always do? Take my finger and I swipe the drizzle and I lick it. Why? Because it's[Phoebe] freaking good. Right. And it's kind of like sticking your hand in the cookie dough or sticking[Phoebe] your hand in the frosting. You want I always want to taste what that tastes like first before I dig[Phoebe] it to the dessert. Exactly. For some reason I don't know how it's like an appetizer. Yeah it's like[Phoebe] a precursor to what the dessert is going to taste like with everything all together. This way I get[Ed] to taste a few little bits before I taste the whole thing. Oh and just guys like all of the parts[Unknown] of a woman are delicious so you just want to nibble on all of them. So don't start with the first[Ed] thing that you're thinking of. Work around it. Slow down. Look out there. Yeah. Let's talk about the[Ed] labia majora, the outer lips. Start by licking and nibbling on her outer lips. We're not talking about[Ed] biting although some women are into that. Little nibbles. Little licks. Outside. What you're doing now[Ed] is you are pulling more blood into the vulva into that surrounding tissue and priming her even more.[Ed] It starts to lubricate her. Builds her excitement. Primes her for more.[Ed] Some women even enjoy a little pulling by sucking their lips into your mouth gently.[Ed] Everything is gentle. Women are delicate flowers. Treat them as such. Don't go hard.[Ed] This isn't rubby. This is a ballet. You're going gently. Yes. Although they may want the leader[Ed] when you're smacking them with the… But don't give it to them up front. Right because I have seen[Phoebe] it hard. Women want their vulva like whipped or smacked with a paddle. There are women who are[Ed] into that. Yes. And even those women probably appreciate a little bit of fork. I could imagine[Ed] it's a little bit like… Yeah. Good morning. Wack. Right. Somebody hitting you in the face with[Ed] the two by four. Yeah. All right. We've gone outer. Let's go inner. So we've worked the outside[Ed] a little bit. We're going to move into the labia menorah. Deep inner lips. You're getting closer.[Ed] Getting warmer. She's getting wetter. You're getting warmer. She's getting warmer.[Ed] Spend some time licking up and down. So you're doing circuits around. This isn't like round and[Ed] round and round and round. Don't get crazy. Don't be silly. It's just slow up and down strokes.[Ed] Don't do what you see in the cheap porn. Or the high school movies where they're like up,[Unknown] up, down, down, left, right, left, right. Yeah. Don't do that. Stick to being gentle and kind of[Ed] painting it like your tongue is a paintbrush. Oh, that's nice. More like cruddy kid where it's wax on,[Ed] wax off. Good one. Here's the trick. Use the flat part of your tongue. So not the tip,[Unknown] not the pointy part. So if you stick your tongue out, not the tip flicky part,[Ed] but the top part, the part where you would lick an ice cream cone.[Ed] You don't lick with the tip of your tongue on an ice cream cone. You do this like a dog lick,[Ed] right? Like a flat, broad, you know, I never flat tongue. Thought of that. Why do we think we[Phoebe] have to lick with the point of our tongue on a clitoris or both lemons? You lick lemons like that.[Phoebe] Do it? Yeah, I guess you kind of do. You kind of like dip your tongue in. You're like,[Ed] oh, that's terrible. Right. But we already know vagina tastes good. So why not ice cream cone it?[Ed] Just the whole tongue. Okay, so don't kiss her like this, but lick her like this. Because if you,[Ed] if you go up to your partner and you go, and you lick her full on, she's going to hopefully punch[Unknown] you in the face. But if not, she's at least going to give you a funny look. Slow flat part of your[Unknown] tongue. Not the tip. No tip. Not just the tip. The whole tongue. As much tongue as you can get[Ed] the ice cream cone lick. Part of this is it's tickly. It's like a finger tip. Yeah, the tip.[Ed] Yeah. Don't poke it something with a fingertip. You don't scratch at it. It's more like the[Ed] palm of your hand, right? Like if you want to pet a cat, use the palm of your hand. You don't[Ed] use your fingertip and pet a cat. Your tongue is like your hand. You're going to use the whole[Phoebe] top of your tongue. I can't just see myself type. That analogy is great. Because it's like,[Phoebe] oh, who in the right mind would like pet a cat with their fingertip. But apparently we lick[Ed] clits with our tongue tips all the time. And that's a thing. So don't do it. Use the whole top of[Phoebe] your tongue. Oh my gosh. That's great. That image is not going to leave my mind now petting a cat[Ed] with your fingertip. Right. You never do it. Clitoris. Let's talk about the clitoris a little bit.[Phoebe] This is an interesting thing. It never ages. Yeah. Even as you age, it doesn't age. It's like one of[Phoebe] the, it's either the only place or one of the only places that doesn't age. The tissue doesn't age.[Unknown] It's the fountain of youth. Yes, we found it. So get your face in there and drink from the fountain[Unknown] of youth because it's never aging. Heck, it's like, it's like an 18 year old right there. Yes.[Ed] In your mouth. And what's, okay, this is a little weird. And this is going to totally turn off[Ed] some guys. But with enough hormones, it can actually start to turn into a penis. So the erectile[Ed] tissue in your penis and in a clitoris are actually the same biological thing. But most women[Ed] are not taking that much testosterone to turn into men. And so this isn't really a thing.[Ed] But just to know, biologically, we all start out the same in the womb as we develop,[Ed] depending on whether you get more, which chromosomes you have and those just thrown in.[Unknown] I have a question. I have something to say. Yeah, go for it. I was raising my hand just so that[Phoebe] everybody knew to get it's attention. Like I, yes, feed the work that hard to get it. Yeah,[Ed] she doesn't have to do anything to get my attention. She has my attention all the time.[Phoebe] So I read that the tissue even inside your nose is very similar to the tissue on your[Phoebe] clitoris and penis. In the sense that or or maybe it's that they're all I know is that they're[Phoebe] connected somehow. So pay attention. Next time you're having sex. If you feel like one nostril[Phoebe] gets stuffy or closed off, it has to do with sex. That tissue starts to respond to what's going[Phoebe] down between your legs. And it will switch. And once I read that, I started to pay attention to it[Phoebe] and it's true. It happens to me and it happens to end. Well, what's interesting is that the[Ed] the neural pathways that run through your nose are connected to your pleasure sensors. So often,[Ed] when I'm thinking really dirty thoughts, I will sneeze. What? Yeah, it's a weird thing. Oh,[Ed] but there's something about the way that the nerves move. So, my all every time I'm sneezing,[Phoebe] I'm thinking dirty thoughts. Oh, my. So that whole thing about, oh, it's the sun making me sneeze.[Ed] That's just bullshit. Yeah, no, no, that's true too, but that's a totally different thing. That's[Ed] because the optical nerves and the olfactory nerves are close enough where they misfire. Yes.[Ed] That's a that's a thing that does happen. There's actually a condition. Yeah, name for that[Ed] condition. I don't remember what it is. But we are getting way off track. But but nerves are[Ed] funny things. Yes. The clitoris can grow as much as two and a half times bigger as you age. So,[Unknown] as you get older, it continues to grow. Here's another fun fact. The sole purpose of the clitoris[Ed] is pleasure. There's nothing else like it on the body. That's pretty cool, which is why[Ed] all these horrible people do mutalations. Yeah, because it's terrible because[Ed] control. Oh, yeah. So even the head of the penis has kind of like two purposes when it directs[Phoebe] things, right? Like it's it's the downspout for things to leave. Repopulating, right? So it's[Ed] it's got a hole in it that does something, but the clitoris doesn't have a hole. Women do not pee[Ed] out of it. If you don't know that, you do now. He does not come out of the clitoris because that[Ed] of the urethro, which is below the clitoris and above the vaginal opening. All right.[Phoebe] Wait, what's the second thing for the penis? Let's see if you know it. You said the penis has two[Ed] functions. The head. The head? Oh, well, peeing in a jacket. Oh, I was just wasn't going to go to[Phoebe] the pee thing. Oh, okay. I was I was going to go to the to the coronal ring and the[Phoebe] friend you love. Friendly. It's designed to do that thing with your hand again. Oh, what are you[Ed] doing? It did look like I was uh-huh. You were masturbating you, huh? Uh-huh. I felt it.[Phoebe] From way over here, I felt it. But the shape of your head is designed to pull out competing sperm.[Ed] Yes. We learned that at the sex museum in New York. Yes. Very fun. Great. You should have a chance.[Ed] Go there. When you're outside in the real world again and you can go to New York and travel and[Unknown] anyway, clitoris is very sensitive. For most women, there are 8,000 nerve endings[Ed] double that of a penis. So you know how sensitive your penis is, guys,[Unknown] women's clitoris is twice as sensitive. Good god. And it's too sensitive at first,[Unknown] which is why you don't go poking it with your fingertip. Don't pet the cat with your fingertip. Use[Ed] the palm. Other women like their clits really worked over. But yeah, so slow. Listen to what she[Ed] wants. Yep. And even a woman who wants it hard and fast isn't going to turn down a nice slow[Ed] warm-up. Right. And if she wants it faster, she's going to tell you. She's like beat that shit.[Ed] Right. Work it. Work it. Work it. But going slow, always a good first move.[Ed] Yes. Okay. Here's the mind-blowing part. Now we're going to go deep[Ed] into the clitoris. Oh my goodness. Deep into the vulva.[Ed] Newsflash. It's not just that little tip-pointy thing. So that little bump that sticks out,[Unknown] that's not the only part of the clitoris. Okay. Go Google this. After you Google your partner,[Ed] Google this. After you Google your partner. It always sounds dirty when you say go Google this.[Guest] Oh, you Googled me. Oh, right? Like that sounds dirty. Does it? Oh, it does. You can Google me later.[Ed] So look up as I bust Phoebe up. Do a search for clitoris legs on the internet. This is a podcast.[Ed] This is an auditory thing. So it's going to be hard for me to describe it to you. But I'm going to[Ed] do my best. The clitoris actually has bulbs or legs that travel down along behind the labia[Ed] menorah and Majora. So I did it. I broke Phoebe. Oh God. You and you have it. I had a really stressful[Phoebe] day or week or month or year because of COVID. And somebody just says something or they look at you[Phoebe] just off and you just lose it. You get the giggles and you can never come back. That's what happened.[Unknown] Okay. I think I'm fine now. So the best way to describe it is think of the clitoris[Ed] as your penis and that your legs kind of come down from your hips, right? Well, a woman's[Ed] clitoris kind of works the same way. They call them legs because they travel down. So think of[Ed] these things as these meaty bundles of nerves that run around the opening of the vagina.[Ed] So penetrative sex does stimulate the opening that outer rim, right? And in a sense, it is[Ed] stimulating the clit because those legs are being stimulated as you rub over them as you penetrate.[Ed] That's why some women orgasm with vaginal sex, penetrative sex because their clitoral legs are[Ed] more sensitive than the clit, well, it could be just as sensitive as the clitoral tip ahead.[Ed] But the point is that they're more sensitive to that kind of stimulation, right? So your mileage[Ed] will vary. Different women are stimulated in different ways. And so don't just focus on the top.[Ed] That's why licking around kind of warms things up. So think of it as a nice protected[Ed] clitoris. It's buried inside of some of her labial flesh as well as the underlying skin and tissue.[Ed] So it's not quite as sensitive. But when you lick up and down, you're still stimulating all of those[Ed] nerves, goodness, which is why you need to spend time exploring around the vulva, not just attacking[Ed] the clit. So this is a tiny target. Turns out it's a big target. It's a big target. You can't lose[Phoebe] communication. This is the one time where you should ask for directions.[Phoebe] Right. Your guy, your girl, whoever you are.[Unknown] How do you like it? How wanting to enjoy some oral pleasure? Ask subtle clues or outright[Phoebe] instructions are great. Her reactions to what you're doing is key. If your partner is pushing[Phoebe] into you, thrusting her hips, grabbing your arm, wiggling around, it probably feels good.[Ed] Although some wiggling could be not good, but typically it's good. Typically it's the pelvis[Unknown] trying to tip down and pull away versus tip up and push into your face. Yeah, but I don't like[Unknown] something I'm tipping down and trying to get away. Get away, get away, get away, get away, right away.[Phoebe] Too much. Too intense. Yes. So I pulling away is too intense. You should probably slow down,[Phoebe] ease off a bit. And it's part of the challenge to listen and to learn what your partner wants and[Ed] needs. All of those life coaches talking about being a good listener. This is part of being a good[Ed] listener, verbal and nonverbal communication. Listen, and women feel okay with telling him more[Unknown] of that less of this right there. Do it. Hey there podcast listeners, you've been tuning into[Ed] our episodes. But if you ever wondered about the steamy details of our adventures or maybe hungry[Phoebe] for some sultry erotic stories. Well, guess what? We've got something special just for you. Our[Phoebe] exclusive Patreon page. It's like a VIP pass to the saucy side of our world. So if you're ready[Guest] for an exclusive behind the mic experience, head over to our Patreon page now. Trust us. This is[Unknown] where the magic happens. See you there, patrons. Yes. You're enthusiasm. Also,[Phoebe] is a communicating factor tool to her. Also, him, her, her him. If you like it, she'll like it.[Ed] If you're excited, we talk about this all the time. Enthusiasm is sexy. If you really like eating[Ed] pussy, that's pretty hot and she's gonna like that. Right. Positions. What do we got? We got[Ed] some fun positions. Yeah. So there's the traditional missionary, right? Lying backwards. You're[Ed] down there between her legs, hands on her thighs, hand on her belly, underneath her butt.[Ed] There's a variety of hand positions at this point. But can I get a foot rub in there? Some[Unknown] I think that's one of them, but it'll be nice. Bottoms up pillow under hips,[Phoebe] head in the back, Phoebe as a toy, or hand or nothing again. You can kind of grind against[Ed] the pillow or towel. Yeah. So this is kind of the the doggy style oral sex. So if she can get her[Ed] hips tipped up, you can kind of crack her open like a peach. Oh my gosh. Yes. And just[Phoebe] get all of the juice. Oh my goodness. Sidewinder. Phoebe's favorite. I was gonna talk about that[Phoebe] earlier when you're talking about nibbling on the one labia menorah. It's where your partner is[Phoebe] perpendicular with one leg bent over the other partner and the other leg is straight. And so your[Phoebe] lips and lips face your lips and her lips match, mash up or match up. Kind of like mash up.[Unknown] Right. This is kind of the side by side 69. Right. But she has no access to your parts. Right. Yeah.[Ed] Face sitting. One of my favorites. Yes. So particular favorite. You lay straight on the bed.[Ed] Have a good headboard. Something with hand holds. R says hand holds and it's bolted.[Ed] Very securely bolted. Just talking like grade eight bolts. Yes.[Unknown] Because once she starts rocking and she can control the pressure. She can control the direction[Ed] and in a sense she's using your face as a toy. Yeah. And it's great. Yeah. Put your tongue out[Ed] there. Nice and flat. Sometimes you can get a finger in there as well. But she's riding and rocking[Ed] her hips. I love it because it's it's very impassioned. Yes. And as a side note, our headboard[Phoebe] is not attached to the bed. So if you remove the bed, the headboard is just stuck to the wall.[Unknown] I had to make sure that thing was bolted down because you know. And it has little finger holds.[Phoebe] Like so I can get my fingers behind it so that we've got multiple handles. Well, that's true.[Phoebe] All over it. Yes. It's like it's like jungle gym. Yes. But and cleverly disguised. Like it doesn't[Ed] looks like a normal headboard. Yes. You wouldn't know. No. It's a sex toy. No. You wouldn't know.[Ed] Except for maybe the glowing lights behind it. That's a whole other thing. Yes.[Phoebe] 60 times. Commanding another position that I love where it is on his knees with his face[Ed] between my legs. Yeah. So she's standing in front of me and I've got my hands[Ed] on her buttocks squeezing and pressing her vagina into my mouth. And it's fabulous. Now Phoebe[Phoebe] likes it because she likes coming while standing up. Yeah. I just like eating pussy so I'll take it[Phoebe] anyway. I love it because I can move more freely and I really like being able to look down. It's[Phoebe] easier to look down when you're standing then to pull your head up. You don't have the weight.[Phoebe] Yeah. And you know as strong as your abs and your core are it's like you're you're also trying[Phoebe] to relax and but now you're doing a crunch. So it's like it's this battle so you don't run.[Unknown] So planks are not good for sex? No. Yeah. All right. Well I mean they are but[Phoebe] but not while you're doing since. No. Okay. Although you are pretty much in a plank every time you're[Unknown] on top. Yeah. That's like I said I'll take it anyway I can get it. Stacked flapjack. Front to back.[Phoebe] Phoebe's back. I'm what? What is this said? Yeah. So this is a fun position. If you haven't tried[Unknown] this try this. So guy lay down on the bed and have your woman kind of like an inverted 69.[Ed] So if it would be 69 if she flipped over onto her belly, flip her onto her back and then[Ed] it's it's basically she's riding your face but she's laying back across your chest, stomach,[Ed] and legs. It's kind of fun because she's laying there and she can grab your ankles and hold on to[Ed] and you get to like lean forward and eat her out. And for those who are into it you could also[Unknown] eat ass that way at the same time. So there is that. Oh my. Let's talk about some techniques,[Unknown] some specific techniques. First, everyone should be relaxed and comfortable. As Phoebe said,[Ed] trying to do a crunch or a plank while you're doing all this stuff, it's not comfortable. You're[Ed] not relaxed. Being tense will not work. You cannot orgasm if you are under stress. No, not[Phoebe] under stress, but sometimes tensing your body. Well, a lot of times tensing my body helps me orgasm.[Ed] Well, muscular tension is different than psychological tension or discomfort. So squeezing[Unknown] those kegel exercises, et cetera, those are good. We're not talking about that kind of[Ed] tense. Gotcha. About like being tense, teetering on a thing. I mean, what if you're like[Unknown] tense and you just need a release? Well, yeah, but you still got to kind of.[Phoebe] If you're anxious, like, relax about it before an interview, I'm anxious, I'm nervous,[Phoebe] I guess you could kind of say it's tense and I would always. You got to relax at some point to[Phoebe] orgasm. Well, yeah, but it kind of helps me relax. So I don't know. Well, try it. Maybe you'll[Ed] have to experiment. Write us and tell us about your tense orgasm experiences. Intense. Well,[Ed] there's that too. We'd love to hear about intense orgasms as well. Oh, yes. Start slow and gentle[Ed] and way above the vagina, kissing, touching, squeezing her body. With ladies, there's four[Unknown] play to the four play. Get her excited, then work your way down, down, pace. There's something[Ed] kind of like the previous one where we were talking about an intensity and a building.[Ed] It's a crescendo. This is kind of like your back and band and you got to build up to the crescendo.[Unknown] You have to keep up a pace that you can maintain for a while. Fun fact, it can take 20 to 45 minutes[Ed] for some ladies. So that 15 minute orgasm that you have will take her 20 to 45 minutes.[Ed] And these are a little slower. You got to work through them. So pick a position,[Ed] pick a technique that you can maintain for a while because you're going to be there for a while.[Unknown] We like to take our time. It's good. Build up speed and pressure when she asks for it or when you[Ed] can sense her excitement rising. She grabs your head. She's grabbing the bed sheets. She's making[Ed] noises, whatever those are. I really like when they grab my head and pull on me.[Phoebe] That's very nice. I do it, but I didn't know you really liked it. Oh, I like it. Oh,[Ed] make me eat you. Flat, slow strokes with the tongue. Remember, don't be a poker.[Ed] We're like licking an ice cream cone. Don't focus on the clit too much at first.[Ed] Like around her pussy. Nibble her lips. Slowly enter her vagina with your tongue. Don't jab it[Ed] in there. Just like don't jam your dick in there. Go slow. Got to rub it around a little bit.[Unknown] Make sure the juices are going. Oh, I like when you do that.[Ed] Then start outside first. Then inside and clit. Yeah. You can bring in backup, folks.[Ed] Oh, use your fingers. Use your fingers gently in a calm hither motion as this stimulates herchee spot.[Unknown] This is my favorite. You can use toys as well. Her favorite toy. And then you can focus on[Ed] licking around the toy, licking around her vagina and her clitoris. Play, experiment,[Unknown] try new things after you're both comfortable. Ask her what she likes. She may already have her[Unknown] favorite flavor of ice cream. So have her tell you. My goodness.[Ed] I know. Give me all kinds of ideas. Oh, why? You might as well continue because this is your[Ed] episode. I think someone's thinking about dessert later. In closing, remember, this is all[Ed] supposed to be fun for everyone. So have a good time. Relax. Enjoy. She should be ready to[Ed] relax and let you pleasure her. So go have some fun. I'm so relaxed. I haven't even touched you[Unknown] yet. I know. Yet. Before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling[Phoebe] you away, please reach out and give us a review. I am the first to admit that it's much easier[Phoebe] to give up five star rating, which we appreciate. But if you could take 43 seconds to type a review,[Phoebe] we would love it. If you want to share a personal story, ask us questions or share your comments.[Phoebe] You can contact us at Swinger University at gmail.com. Check us out at SwingerUniversity.com,[Phoebe] where you can find links to our Twitter and Instagram feeds. Thank you so much for listening[Unknown] to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment podcast. Oh, one last thing before you go.[Ed] If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is[Ed] leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're[Ed] searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy. Visit SwingerUniversity.com,[Ed] forward slash review. All the instructions are there. Thank you for being part of this community.[Unknown] We'll see you again soon.