Breaking Free from the Pink Box: Challenging Society’s Beauty Standards

[00:00] [Phoebe] Volvos are in our face more now than ever.
Just open your Twitter feed and you know what I mean.
As a Volvo owner, how do you stop comparing dark labia to the pink ones?
Is the pale, the gold or pink standard?

[00:25] [Ed] Welcome to Swinger University, I’m Ed.

[00:28] [Phoebe] And I’m Phoebe.

[00:30] [Ed] Join us as we explore the exciting world
of the ethical non-monogamy, sexual health, and sex education,
with an intellectual and sexy twist.

[00:40] [Phoebe] Why is pink a thing?
The pink vulva area, everything’s pink.
The blood is pink, but the anus is pink, right?
All of that, pink, pink, pink all the way up.
The whole Brazilian area.

[00:55] [Ed] Well, that’s a standard that has come about,
but I don’t know where it came from
because I don’t have that particular standard in my mind

[01:05] [Unknown] when I think of vulva.

[01:09] [Phoebe] Right, but it’s true that most of the porn,
at least years ago, was depicting that,
as well as guys with big penises,
and also magazines, so magazines and porn.
We’re both depicting that.
And I think it’s because of the age women were young,

[01:34] [Unknown] which is a big factor in the color of your mouth.

[01:38] [Ed] That could be it.
So these are all just turned 18,
tried to make their way to Hollywood,
or fan eyes, or wherever it is.
They’re filming most of the porn now.

[01:49] [Phoebe] You have NERS picked them up and all of them off.

[01:53] [Ed] They go.

[01:53] [Phoebe] In the last few years, though, it is interesting
to see more mature content,
especially with the rise of only fans

[02:02] [Unknown] and content creators, obviously.
Sure.

[02:06] [Phoebe] There are different colors to the vulva.
Yes.
So that’s nice and refreshing to see.
And as a swinger, I do notice that,
but I will still say, I don’t notice a dark vulva as often.
To me, maybe I’m just not noticing.

[02:29] [Ed] I just think you’re not noticing.

[02:31] [Phoebe] Maybe I’m just distracted by other things in the room.

[02:34] [Ed] Quite possibly.

[02:36] [Phoebe] Maybe I ought to make a point.

[02:38] [Ed] I haven’t found a lot of, like, really pink,
just peachy-colored ones.
Okay, so you’re a little bit of color.

[02:46] [Phoebe] So you’re the person to ask then,
so another swinger.
How many dark vulvas have you seen?

[02:51] [Unknown] Most of them.
Okay, really.
Varying shades of color.

[02:57] [Ed] Right.
I mean, it varies from ethnicity.
It varies with age.

[03:03] [Unknown] It varies with how much there is there,

[03:08] [Ed] how little there is there.

[03:11] [Phoebe] Meaning, labia.

[03:13] [Ed] Vars.
Volume of parts, yeah.

[03:14] [Phoebe] Volume of parts.

[03:16] [Ed] Length and width and all the sizes that are available.

[03:21] [Unknown] Right.

[03:22] [Phoebe] Five sizes and shapes.
If you’re a vulva owner and you have dark labia,
and you think that your labia and vulva area needs to be pink,
because that’s all you’ve seen,
and you see that as the standard.
I certainly thought that my vulva and labia were completely different

[03:48] [Unknown] from the rest of the world, because I never saw dark labia or vulva ever.

[03:54] [Phoebe] In fact, when we were swinging,
when we first started swinging 10 years ago,
I don’t really remember.
I really haven’t noticed.
And maybe that’s just because it doesn’t matter, and I’m distracted.
But maybe it’s not true.
So maybe it’s not true.

[04:09] [Unknown] But when I do see the Twitter feed flowing through,

[04:16] [Phoebe] I would say 98% of the women in there
do not have dark labia or vulvas.
Are these all just
young models?
Mostly, there’s not many true
content creators out there.
There are, but maybe they’re just not exposing it
for free.

[04:41] [Ed] Right.

[04:41] [Phoebe] Maybe I’m not following the right people.

[04:43] [Ed] Could be.

[04:44] [Unknown] You’re not exposing the right vulvas.

[04:48] [Phoebe] I guess not.
So if you are having some insecurities,
part of this is related to the social media influence.
It erodes your confidence.
It can be mentally distressing.
Right.
Having to do all this comparison.
It can lead to seeking some harmful procedures,
like the lightning creams that they have.
They’re a temporary solution.
They’re usually irritating and they’re dangerous.
A lot of them have the chemical hydroquinone in it.
And it is known to cause cancer.
You should use it very sparingly.
I know a lot of dermatologists will sell it.
My own dermatologist sells it.
But it’s not the safest thing to be using,
especially on those sensitive parts.

[05:44] [Ed] I would be surprised that that was not very harmful
because you’re not even supposed to wash your panes
in laundry detergent with scent.
Let alone use a chemical burning lightning cream.

[06:00] [Phoebe] Right.
And so I guess there’s chemical peels also for this area.
Oh my god.
I haven’t seen it.
I did a little research on it.
It’s very harsh.
It’s irritating also and can be dangerous.

[06:14] [Ed] Yeah, I can imagine burning your clip off.
Yeah.
That doesn’t sound good.

[06:20] [Unknown] No.
And then, yeah.

[06:23] [Ed] I’ve burned my hands in the garage with chemicals
and I wouldn’t want to put that anywhere near my junk.
Right.
Right.

[06:29] [Unknown] And there is surgery,

[06:31] [Phoebe] but the surgery is for a different type of…
Right.

[06:35] [Ed] That’s labial plastic,
which is reducing the size of the lips.

[06:40] [Phoebe] Which is, you know, a thing for a lot of people.

[06:44] [Ed] And it’s also got a lot of risks with it.

[06:48] [Phoebe] Yeah.
And some recovery time.

[06:51] [Ed] So yeah.

[06:52] [Phoebe] Although it probably does heal pretty quick
because there’s a lot of blood flow to the area.
But I’m getting off track.
That area, the vulva area, has its own happy bacteria
just like inside your vagina, right?
So you have your own biome down there,
which is why you don’t want to be putting any kind of perfumes.

[07:13] [Unknown] So on anything, right?

[07:16] [Phoebe] Right.
Where you’re in a lot of tight clothing.
You want things to breathe.
You want things to air out.
So keep in mind, there are some risks
if you’re trying to…

[07:26] [Ed] So spreading Dreno across your vagina is probably not a good idea.

[07:31] [Phoebe] Stop it.
Stop it.

[07:33] [Unknown] Why is your labia dark?

[07:37] [Phoebe] That is a very good question.
Why is the labia dark?
Genetics is part of it.
Infections like BV or a yeast infection.
I had no idea until I researched this.

[07:50] [Unknown] It can change the color of your vulva area.

[07:54] [Phoebe] Repeated friction, which I had heard about
irritation and trauma to that area.
So what happens is
you’re the cells,
there’s this characterization
that’s going on and it matures the cells
towards that outer most layer of the skin.
So it causes darkening.
Interesting.
Right?
The increase of blood flow to that area
also increases melanin,
which you think would be good
because if you’re having sex,
blood flow is increasing and there’s friction.
So you’re kind of just…

[08:41] [Ed] It’s inevitable.

[08:42] [Phoebe] Crude.
Right?

[08:43] [Ed] It’s inept well, literally, yeah.
So all those ladies that really light horseback riding
when they were growing up
because of all of the extra stimulation
may have actually increased
the onset of the coloration in their labia.

[09:02] [Phoebe] Or if you’re a cyclist

[09:03] [Unknown] and there’s a lot of irritation

[09:05] [Phoebe] going on there, right?
You take the cycling class at your gym
or you are an actual cyclist
and you’re cycling back and forth to work
like we were doing for…

[09:15] [Ed] Right.

[09:16] [Phoebe] Every day for years.
For years.
Yeah.
Which is great.
I so missed that.
The other thing that will affect that skin
is shaving,

[09:27] [Ed] which makes sense.
It’s irritating the skin.
It’s a…
It’s like a razor burn.

[09:32] [Phoebe] So here we are all shaving.
If you’re not waxing,
you’re shaving.
If you haven’t got it lasered
and you’re actually creating
this cartonization of the skin.
Right.
Which is making your labia dark.
So you’re better off waxing.
You might be okay with the laser,
but if you don’t want to spend for that,
waxing’s better.

[09:59] [Ed] Assuming you’re actually concerned about the color.

[10:03] [Phoebe] Right.
Right.
Age has something to do with it.
We touched on that a little bit.

[10:10] [Ed] Which kind of makes sense,
especially if you’re doing all of these processes
and procedures and bicycle riding
over the years as you age,
you’ve done it more and more and more.
So…

[10:22] [Phoebe] And you’ve gotten more use down there.

[10:25] [Ed] Hopefully you’ve had more…

[10:26] [Phoebe] Hopefully you’ve had some usage of the equipment.
Yeah.
A lot more sex.
And hormones affect it.
So as your estrogen increases,
that will make it darker.
The progesterone will actually decrease the color.
Oh, interesting.
So for those ladies who are
parimenopause or in menopause,
if you happen to be on progesterone,
if your doctors subscribe that for you,
then that might help decrease that.
I have no idea how long it takes for that to happen.

[10:59] [Ed] Or to what degree?

[11:00] [Phoebe] Right.
Exactly.

[11:02] [Unknown] And pregnancy can fluctuate your hormones,

[11:06] [Phoebe] obviously, as we all know.
Yes.
And that can also cause the darkening.

[11:10] [Ed] Yeah, pregnancy does darkening
on a whole bunch of different things.
So your nipples will darken,
your labia darken.

[11:18] [Phoebe] The aerial is as well.
Yep.
And I think your nipples get bigger too.

[11:24] [Ed] They can.

[11:25] [Phoebe] Because I have really small ones
compared to everybody else my age
in the orgy room.

[11:30] [Ed] Part of that is just random, but yes.
I don’t know.

[11:34] [Phoebe] I would say 90% of the women have gumball nipples.
And I do not.
I have a number two.
It does happen.
And I thought mine were big.
Mine are tiny, tiny compared.
Which is fabulous because I get to play with gumball nipples.

[11:51] [Ed] There you go.

[11:53] [Phoebe] All right.
How to fix it if you are really concerned.

[11:56] [Unknown] And you do want to do something about it.

[11:59] [Phoebe] I can’t deal with it.
I want to try something.
There is no guarantee.
But you can change your daily habits.
Avoid using harsh soaps.
Wear the loose clothing that I talked about earlier.

[12:12] [Ed] So sun dresses with no panties?

[12:15] [Phoebe] Exactly.

[12:15] [Ed] Okay.
Perfect.

[12:16] [Phoebe] Exactly.

[12:17] [Ed] Perfect.

[12:18] [Phoebe] Natural remedies are we’re
talked about, but
eating certain kinds of foods,
which I think is BS.
And then applying aloe and coconut oil.
That’s a really bad idea.

[12:31] [Unknown] I also think that’s BS.

[12:33] [Phoebe] I call BS on that time.
And that’ll mess you up.

[12:37] [Unknown] So don’t please don’t do that.

[12:40] [Ed] Yeah.
The coconut oil will absolutely mess with your
pH and all the natural bacteria.
Bacteria down there.

[12:48] [Phoebe] Yep.
Your natural biome.
Now the laser, the pico laser I did read is
pretty effective.
According to
the little bit of research that I did on that,
you should do your own for sure.
It does target the melanin and we’ll break it down.

[13:06] [Ed] Interesting.

[13:07] [Phoebe] I will say I have gotten
multiple laser treatments on
for hair in that area.
And it is.
Oh my god.
Really, really painful.
Really, really painful.
It is not pleasant.

[13:25] [Ed] It’s it’s a hot kind of burning sensation, right?

[13:29] [Phoebe] Oh gosh.
Yeah.
It stings and it’s like sharp.
It’s really shocking.

[13:34] [Ed] It’s very because that sounds fantastic, right?

[13:40] [Phoebe] I almost think the waxing would be better.
I only had it waxed down just the
there was some part.
I think just the top the mound.
I had that waxed once.
That was pretty painful.
Since it was so long ago,
I’m not sure I can compare the two.
They might be similar.

[13:57] [Ed] If you know or you’ve had both procedures,
right?
Be sure to let us know, right?

[14:03] [Phoebe] You know, the last thing is just maybe try loving your body
and accepting it the way it is, right?
And all of it’s beautiful.

[14:12] [Ed] You mean we don’t have to live up
to the artificial stereotypical
social media projected image of ourselves.
We could actually just be happy in our own bodies.
That’s shocking.

[14:27] [Phoebe] Yep.
And embrace our uniqueness.

[14:30] [Ed] And I will tell you from the non-volva owner
but vulva appreciator position,
I don’t care what it looks like.
Why?
They’re all amazing and wonderful.
And if I have the privilege of being able to see one,
I’m happy.
I don’t care what it looks like.
I’m happy.
It’s amazing.
It’s wonderful.

[14:56] [Phoebe] But it is amazing how deep that programming goes
because I
decades old now.
And I have seen really nothing but

[15:09] [Unknown] tiny little tight packages all neat.

[15:12] [Phoebe] Now I will say they’re not as neat and tiny now.
And a lot of books have come out
and you’re seeing a lot of differences now, right?

[15:20] [Ed] Yes.

[15:20] [Phoebe] And that’s lovely.
But I still have not seen many color differences.
Maybe we’ll get some pictures in an email.
Oh.
Can people send us these pictures?
Absolutely.

[15:31] [Ed] Swinganduniversity.com.

[15:33] [Phoebe] That’d be lovely.
You know what?
It would actually be nice to post those in Patreon
for people to see differences.
Yeah.
So if you’re a vulva owner
and you have

[15:46] [Ed] and you’re proud of your
not stereotypical vulva
and you want to share it?

[15:53] [Phoebe] Yeah.

[15:53] [Ed] Let us know.

[15:54] [Phoebe] In all of its glory,
whatever the color, whatever the shape,
that would be fabulous.

[15:59] [Ed] Because we’re all different.

[16:02] [Phoebe] And perfect.
And complete.
And if you choose,
oh and tasty.
If you choose to make changes to your body,
do your research since not all the solutions are safe
cost-effective or a long lasting.
And with that,
go give your labias some love.

[16:22] [Ed] Yeah. Hugs and kisses.
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[16:37] [Phoebe] Absolutely.

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