🎉 We threw out all our rules – Our first full-swap swinger experience

[00:00] [Unknown] Welcome to Swinger University. I’m Ed and I’m Phoebe and this episode is a little different. We’re going to go

[00:08] [Ed] way back, little way back machine and talk about our first full swap.

[00:18] [Phoebe] It’s got all kinds of juicy details and some things that weren’t proud of but you know

[00:26] [Ed] stuff happens. Yeah, some lessons learned. Lessons for sure. For sure. And some things that we’ve figured
out since then that will let you in on and the dirty secret will come out.

[00:45] [Unknown] We were part of a Facebook group called, do we want to name the Facebook group?

[00:52] [Ed] It’s sure. It’s all gone. It was the fun ones. It was called the fun ones. Who doesn’t want to
be part of the fun ones? It sounded like a lot of fun. It was a private Swinger Facebook group and

[01:05] [Phoebe] we got invited because we had been on a meet and greet boat day. Right. Started talking with a
bunch of people. They said, oh blah blah blah. Here’s this Facebook group and we said, how do we get

[01:23] [Unknown] in the group? Right. So we got an invitation. Yeah. One of the people who was on the boat was

[01:30] [Ed] having a birthday party coming up and this was going to be her birthday party and she was like,
I want everybody to be there. It’s going to be super exciting. It’s an Alice and Wonderland theme
which was super cool. We were going to come and costume. I had you know, funny years and I was

[01:47] [Unknown] the rabbit, white rabbit and it was interesting because it was not just a house party. This was

[01:57] [Ed] a sleepover. Yeah. It was way out in the boonies. Yes. Way out in the boonies. Way out.

[02:06] [Phoebe] Can we say way out again? Way out. And as on a ranch, it was a very nice ranch with a very,
it was in a state basically. Yeah. There were places for people to sleep in bedrooms or you just
brought your sleeping bag in a mattress and you slept on the floor or you had a camper and there

[02:26] [Ed] were a number of people who had trucks, campers and parked those on the property. There were a lot
of people there and a lot of people slept over. Yeah. They did. A couple people just slept in the

[02:38] [Phoebe] bed of their truck because it was summer. The temperature was nice. Yeah. It was great. Yeah.

[02:44] [Ed] And one of the, and this will come up later, one of the big surprises in the house besides having
like built in aquarium and the horses and the big pool and the waterfall and all that kind of
stuff, they had a theater downstairs. Oh yeah. Like a big theater. Yes. Like surprisingly large

[03:08] [Phoebe] theater. Professional, full on, yeah, theater. Like you would have if you were an actor and actress

[03:17] [Unknown] and you were previewing your own movies. Yeah, but probably the biggest one I’ve ever seen,

[03:24] [Ed] we’ve been watching these million dollar house tours on YouTube. And I think this was a bigger

[03:30] [Unknown] theater than those. It was huge. That’s so nice. So the sleepover part of the party was, was a first

[03:46] [Phoebe] for us. So the first was we didn’t we didn’t know the host. We didn’t we knew of them. We knew
they’re part of the group. We knew maybe one or two or three couples. Right. We had never slipped
over before. It’s in the middle of nowhere. So there was all these unknowns, which was really
not great for my comfort level because I, yeah. And too many unknowns. And this is when we were

[04:16] [Ed] still really nervous about a lot of stuff in the lifestyle. I don’t think we were more than what,
two years in the lifestyle, a year and a half in, we were late bloomers. And we’d only soft swapped

[04:32] [Phoebe] up to this point. Yes, correct. So there was a lot riding on this evening or this weekend.

[04:40] [Ed] So. And if I remember right, the conversation was, if this particular couple’s going to be there,

[04:47] [Unknown] and we kind of knew that they were going to be there, what do you think? I mean, would they, would
they be maybe the first full swap couple? Like, should we shouldn’t we? Right. I think we had a

[05:01] [Ed] lot of discussion leading up to that party about that particular couple and that they’d become

[05:09] [Phoebe] the chosen ones for us. Right. We were targeting them that night. Oh, yeah. Big time.

[05:15] [Ed] Big time. Yes. So this couple that we had found through the boat day, actually our first
introduction to them, they pulled up to the dock. And the misses had kind of leaned over

[05:33] [Unknown] the front of the boat to kind of like grab the dock. She, she was very well endowed. Yes.

[05:42] [Phoebe] Which was very inviting. So we had to get on that boat. Yeah, we absolutely got on that

[05:47] [Ed] boat. And it was great. And and and the mister was was very, very handsome. Yeah. He was, he was fit.

[05:54] [Phoebe] He was a good looking guy. So we walked in. We put our stuff down. And there was, oh, and we brought
food. Everyone brought food. So it was like a potluck. Yeah. So there was a ton of alcohol, a ton of
mixers, a ton of food. Of course, when you go to these things, there’s just a ton of everything.

[06:11] [Ed] You can’t ever drink it all or eat it all. Right. There’s usually way too much food. Yeah.

[06:16] [Phoebe] So once again, our contribution probably went in the trash later that night, but that’s okay.
Food was great. And there is music. There’s lots of conversation. We didn’t have a room,
but we did have a spot where we could put our stuff upstairs kind of on this landing area,
which was nice and open, almost like a sitting area if you wanted to make it. We got a tour
of the house. We already told you about the theater room. And then let’s talk about outside first.

[06:49] [Ed] Yeah. So really large outdoor patio space, multiple levels. There was a large pool with not
just a fountain like this was like a rock scape cliff waterfall with infinity edge. Yeah. Yeah.

[07:10] [Phoebe] Hot tub. Very large hot tub. Probably a 10 person hot tub built in with more rock structures.
Like something you’d see at a resort, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. It was kind of crazy. It was fabulous.

[07:25] [Ed] You know, the multicolored lights, shifting lights, the whole thing. Oh, yeah. That’s right.

[07:31] [Phoebe] Yeah. There was like a little mini stage at one end of the pool. Remember, there was a guy,
a really attractive guy, the boyfriend. He was dancing up there. There was lights shining on him.
Yeah. Yeah. It was almost like a stripper pole stage dance area.

[07:48] [Ed] Yeah. And there was plenty of seating outdoors, some couches right along the back of the house.
And people were just hanging out having a good time. Great conversation. Like you said.
And as the evening progresses, started to get a little bit darker. And so the lights came up
and the teaky torches and all the fun stuff started coming out. Yeah. At some point during the evening,

[08:13] [Phoebe] I remember people started playing in the small living room area right off the kitchen.
Like right there. Right. Like on the couches and stuff. And I remember being a little

[08:27] [Unknown] shocked because it’s right there. Right right next to the food. Right next to the food. So it was a

[08:36] [Phoebe] very intimate, it was, they were very intimate acts. There was more than one person having
having intercourse or some sort of soft swap there. And it felt uncomfortable for me to just be
snacking or pouring a drink because I didn’t want to distract them. So I was torn between
sustenance and drink and watching live porn and the honoring one and not having conversation.
I didn’t know what to do. It was all very awkward. I felt very, very awkward. Yeah, I think in general,
we felt pretty awkward that night. I did. It was an awkward night. So we kept running into this
couple that we were targeting and having the conversation, working on, you know, just, you know,
dropping hints and trying our best to make it known that we were really interested in them.

[09:35] [Ed] Right. So we made our preferences known. And they had reciprocated and said, yeah, we’re pretty
selective. We’re picky. We haven’t been with very many couples. Yeah. We’re interested too.

[09:51] [Unknown] And I think at that point, we’d kind of hit up at the right time in the evening where everybody

[09:59] [Ed] was comfortable enough. And we had the brilliant idea to go down to the theater. Yes.

[10:06] [Phoebe] And have sex there. Yes, because I was like, who can say their head sex in a theater?

[10:17] [Ed] Right. And I got arrested. Right. Right. So let’s go do it down there. Because the whole,

[10:21] [Phoebe] I mean, the whole property was pretty much anywhere you want to go and have sex. So I’m like,
let’s go down there. It was also private. It was quiet. And there was porn playing on the theater

[10:33] [Ed] screen. So there was plenty of sound and stimulation for our memory, too. There weren’t there like
bean bags in the front, too, where I think people could hang out there anyway. Yeah.
So yeah, we made our way down and we paired off and we picked seats right next to each other.

[10:55] [Phoebe] Yes, we did. We started off with oral sex. Right. And there wasn’t a lot of conversation
about preferences. We did say we were soft. And that’s basically it. I mean, we didn’t know
we didn’t know what we didn’t know. We didn’t we didn’t have a lot of wishes,
directions, yeses in our repertoire. So we couldn’t really say, this is what I want to do.
Right. I also wasn’t really great at asking for what I wanted and being confident just saying that.

[11:34] [Unknown] Yeah, that hadn’t hadn’t really come out yet. Right. So I do remember scrunching so far down into that

[11:44] [Phoebe] that theater seat that my neck, oh my god, the next day my neck got so tweaked because,
you know, I’m like this and your neck is practically, you know, at your belly button,

[11:54] [Ed] yeah, chin. These weren’t reclining theater seats. These were these were kind of old school theater

[12:00] [Phoebe] seats. Yeah, but nice and cushy, but not the reclining ones. Yeah, not super deluxe.
So I don’t know how long we’ve been going at it. A nice long time. It was good oral. I got

[12:11] [Unknown] to look over at you and watch you and there was a boob grab and yeah. And at some point we decided
to have the conversation about trying full swap. Right. And so he said, hey, you want to try it?

[12:31] [Phoebe] And everybody said, yeah, let’s let’s do it. Right. So where were our condoms?

[12:38] [Unknown] You know, that’s a really good question. I’m not sure where they were. I don’t know where they were
because we didn’t use one. No. And that was that was really weird for us because we’re big on

[13:00] [Ed] safer sex practices and using condoms all the time. But I think in the back of our heads,
we’d kind of figured, quote, they were safe because they were selective and said they hadn’t
played much. Right. Which made us think, well, okay, they’re they’re married. They’re together.
They haven’t played very much with other people. So really, it’s just their risk level as well.

[13:25] [Unknown] Yes. That was what we were thinking. That was what they had told us.

[13:29] [Ed] Yeah. The sex was fun. I had a good time. Got to sit down. She climbed up in my lap. She did a
little girl on top riding ride thing in the seat of the theater chair. That was really sexy.
It was really sexy. Having that the theater lights the lights from the screen kind of
light everybody up and all their parts. And she was a lot of fun. She was a lot of fun. I like
touching her. She’s so soft. She was very soft and squeezy. Squeezy. Yeah. Very squeezy.

[14:12] [Phoebe] So yeah. So that happened. And I think I think also part of that was just us being awkward,
right? That transition of let’s get the condom. We were in the mood. It was sexy. We felt like
breaking that would would ruin the mood. And we didn’t want to ruin the opportunity. And now

[14:39] [Ed] years later, yeah, it was it wouldn’t have been a big deal. Yeah. But we did it. We did it. And
we I think the other component to this, and this is this is important. I think this is another
key takeaway from this was this was our first time. So we were super excited to do it. Yes.

[15:02] [Unknown] Like really excited to do it. Like this is a first. This is like losing your virginity. Oh,

[15:08] [Ed] gosh, yeah. And I don’t think we were thinking clearly. No, no, because I didn’t ever experience

[15:18] [Phoebe] all these emotions and the hormones and all that stimulation all at once. It’s very overwhelming.

[15:24] [Ed] Oh, yeah. Very overwhelming. And there you have it. That that kind of went down like that. Yes.

[15:33] [Phoebe] And so we we finished down there. And then we went upstairs to continue the party. And we had
discovered pretty much everyone left the house. And they were all down at the hot tub. Right.
Right. So we decided to to join everybody else. Yeah. We got in some water. We’d rehydrated. Right.

[15:56] [Ed] Because we just, you know, we were we were hot. Yep. And we ended up in the hot tub with a bunch

[16:04] [Unknown] of other couples and this couple again. And we ended up having sex again with them in the hot

[16:12] [Ed] tub. In the hot tub. Bad. Really bad idea. Bad for the the China, but it was a lot of fun. Yeah.

[16:21] [Phoebe] There were blow jobs on the side of the pool. I remember there’s a photo of me giving a
blow job. It might be you. But I think there’s a photo of me. So and then so yes, photos happened.
Right. Which was also another rule. No, no, no photos. We were not out. So now that’s out there.
And I I didn’t know it was too late. Someone snapped a shot. I was like, oh my gosh.

[16:49] [Ed] Yeah, we got we found them later on Facebook in the group. This is before Facebook was
policing. By the way, you can’t do that anymore. You would absolutely get caught. So yeah, right.

[17:01] [Phoebe] So now two two things two rules already broken right out the window. All the rules gone.

[17:07] [Ed] We did so did that for a little bit. Got some more food. Got some more water. We’ve now
rehydrated. We’ve recharged. We’re ready to go again. And we’re still horny. So we go to the

[17:23] [Phoebe] lounge chairs. Yeah. Well, we were in the we were in the pool first for a little bit for a

[17:29] [Ed] little bit. Yeah, flirting with flirting with a single female. Single female. Also very new.
Yes for us. And we end up on one of the lounge chairs with this lady. So it’s the three of us
kind of soft swapping and all this doing some fun stuff. That was great. Except if you’ve ever
had sex on one of those folding chase lounges for the pool, you’ll know that they’re really wide.
And I ended up with the worst rug burns on the insides on my legs from straddling that thing.
It was terrible. Like I think it was actually bleeding. It was it was bad. It was bad. But it was

[18:13] [Phoebe] fun. High five to you for not giving up. No, got to stick with it. Got to get a pull through.
So yes, I was the the the recipient of all that sacrifice that you made, which was a lot of fun.
Right. So here we are having sex in front of people. They’re cheering on us on at the hot tub.
Yeah. And we’d never done that before either another first. Right. Right. We just we’d let it

[18:45] [Unknown] all out that night. We did. We were just all in. So yes, we probably hydrated this

[18:54] [Ed] some more. We probably had some more food. I may have drank a little bit more at that point.
But we things were winding down. People were starting to kind of like peel off and find

[19:06] [Unknown] their little bed places. And so we said, okay, let’s your sore at this point. I was really
surprised. I’m tired. I’m not needing out of commission. Yeah. Your legs are bleeding. My vaginas

[19:21] [Phoebe] got all kinds of chlorine in it. Micro tears. The whole deal. Yeah. All of that. Yeah.
So you want to have sex with me. Right. Because I’m still
born. So we make our little bed up on this landing. Right. And we’re we’re laying there. And
you’re like reaching over, you know, groping and touching. And so we start to have sex, I think.

[19:48] [Ed] Yeah. And I think it was partially because we could hear someone in the next room having sex.
Oh yeah. So there’s sounds of sex all over this house, like everywhere.

[20:00] [Unknown] Okay. And so I’m getting in the mood again. And you’re gone.

[20:08] [Ed] Oh, no, if I could do this, I don’t know if we could do it, but we’ll we’ll try and we’ve got
Louvre and we’re doing the whole thing. And then we we finally, I think we go.
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[21:07] [Unknown] It only cares about ratings and reviews. We’d appreciate it. And your community will really
appreciate it. Thanks for listening. We wish this is a prime opportunity that the sounds keep

[21:26] [Phoebe] going and going and going and we’re like, oh my gosh, here’s another great opportunity. Let’s
let’s go for it. Like we’re like all in. Let’s let’s knock on the door. I mean, when in Rome,

[21:37] [Ed] yes, do the Roman orgy. Yes. So let’s just we do. So we’d like very gently tapped on the door. Yeah.
And the door opened. And we noticed that they were in the shower. Yes. And this fabulous red-headed

[21:54] [Phoebe] man with a beard and opens it. I wish I could find him again. He was very attractive. He was a
funny guy too. And charming and funny. Yeah. Hilarious. Great personality. Yes. And so,
yes. So then he poof disappeared and then went into the shower. Right. And we’re like,
where did they go? Where did they go? So we’re like, do we follow them? I don’t know. So we did.
So we’re now standing in the bathroom watching them shower. Right. Soaping themselves, rubbing
themselves, which was fabulous. Super great. Who gets to watch that? They towel off. They come out of

[22:36] [Ed] the bathroom. They jump in bed and they start going at it. Right. And right there. Right. Now,
I think there was three people in that room. There may there may have been. Unless another person

[22:50] [Phoebe] came, but I know there was there was there was two girls in a guy for sure. So they’re going at it.

[22:56] [Ed] And they invited us to the bed. We were on the bed, but it was still kind of separate play
same bedroom, which is that’s very traditionally what we had done. And so there was all of us on the
bed going at it. Yes. Having a great time laughing just the great noises, the great visuals,

[23:19] [Phoebe] like everything’s going on all at once. Meanwhile, Phoebe’s pussy is on fire. Right.
Fire. It’s like so painful now. Everything hurts. But you know how pain kind of turns to
pleasure. It’s painful, but it’s pleasurable. So there was this weird combo of pain, pleasure,
pain, pleasure. So yeah, I wanted to stop, but I wanted to keep going. And then eventually,

[23:48] [Ed] I tapped out because we were going to break something. I was broken for sure.
Oh, for sure. And I was probably not doing much better after that either. I’m pretty sure I was

[24:01] [Phoebe] raw. I think this all the skin came off your penis. Exfoliation in the best possible method,

[24:09] [Unknown] but still really painful. Oh, my God. Okay. So yes. Next morning, we did get some good sleep.

[24:19] [Ed] Yes, I think. Yeah, we remember. I think we passed out at that point and just

[24:24] [Unknown] slept through. We wake up in the morning, had breakfast, greeted everybody. Everybody was still

[24:29] [Ed] really like on speaking terms. Nothing weird. Right. I was really nervous about the morning

[24:36] [Phoebe] after. Yeah. And you know, because people are different in the morning. And you know, people,

[24:41] [Ed] yeah, people were nice. People were cordial friendly. Yep. Everybody hugged. And we helped clean up.

[24:47] [Unknown] Helped clean up a little bit and had had our coffee and off we went off we went drove home had

[24:57] [Ed] probably the most intense conversation ever on the way home. Yeah. And it was like I said,
out in the boonies. So we had a good couple hours to talk about it all the way home. Yeah.

[25:10] [Phoebe] Yeah. What a night. What what a night. It was a night. And we were we were good about not
beating ourselves up about not using condoms, but we had decided that can can never happen.

[25:25] [Unknown] Right. Again. Right. And what we discovered years later. And this is where it comes up.

[25:36] [Phoebe] Here’s the lesson. Here’s the lesson. No matter what people tell you. Oh, I’ve been tested.
Oh, I’m clean. Oh, we only play with others. Oh, we have a we have a tribe or a quad that we only
play with. We never write absolutes are never absolutely right. So people have selective memories

[26:02] [Unknown] or in the case of this particular couple, then we’re unaware of each other’s behavior. And one of

[26:11] [Ed] them had been stepping out of the relationship and having sex on the side. And that came out
later like a year or two years later. Yeah. And we found out. And that explained so much.

[26:29] [Phoebe] And then I was pissed because now I’m thinking, oh my gosh, you know, what if I what did we get?
What did we get? Yeah. So we I don’t I don’t know if we had gone and got ourselves tested
right after that that party. It would I don’t remember, but it wouldn’t surprise me if we did
because we did. Yeah. We were pretty risky. I mean, very risky. And we weren’t prepared for that.

[27:02] [Ed] That that break in our rules. So yeah, I think we waited probably a month or two to get tested to

[27:09] [Phoebe] make sure that we were outside of the the window. Yeah, the right. And then we got tested. And then
of course, you know, as everyone knows, well, if you don’t, you really have to wait three to six
months before you test again before you’re actually clear. So taking your test a week before
your local adult resort trip. And it comes back clear. Doesn’t really mean you’re clear. Right. Right.

[27:35] [Unknown] Yeah. That was our first full swap. Yeah. A lot of rules broken, a lot of lessons learned,

[27:43] [Ed] but you know, it was a really epic time. Yeah. I mean, we walked away with it. Just an amazing

[27:51] [Unknown] experience, a great story and memories like like yesterday, still vivid memories. And when

[28:00] [Phoebe] wondering where some of those lovely people went, but as as we know, people come and go pretty
frequently, it’s difficult to find people that stay in the lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. And it’s

[28:12] [Ed] unfortunate that group did finally just kind of dissolve and everybody went their own way. Yeah.

[28:17] [Phoebe] Facebook kind of ruined it too when they started leaking down or they did. Yeah. Yeah. We’d created

[28:23] [Ed] a second group from there. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same. Yeah. Anything else you

[28:31] [Phoebe] want to add to that sexy story? Any other lessons? No. I mean, I think the valuable lesson in that

[28:37] [Ed] was just, you know, don’t go by what people say because they they’re either forgetting or they’re
not being truthful or right. Who knows? You just don’t know. Yeah. And you do you, you stick to

[28:53] [Phoebe] what you’re comfortable with. And honestly, if they don’t like it, then they’re not for you. And
it I get it. It’s frustrating because there you are. The perfect moment, the perfect time. And
we’d we’d been in so many places where the opportunity was right there, but we just didn’t

[29:14] [Unknown] pull the trigger or we didn’t make the move. And they got away or they got away. Yeah.

[29:20] [Ed] The mood change or whatever. So yeah, absolutely, but you know what I was thinking, even with condoms,
that still would have been an epic night. Sure. Yeah. Although you probably would have been even more
torn up, but that’s a whole other topic. But yeah, the condoms wouldn’t have ruined the experience
at all. Like it still would have been a first. It still would have been exciting. There’s still all

[29:47] [Unknown] that fun stuff going on. Yes. So, you know, you don’t you don’t have to take that that risk

[29:56] [Ed] in order to have a good time in order to have a good time. And the lifestyle’s risky enough
as it is. Yeah. So take the extra precaution. Take the extra five minutes. And if you know that
you’re going down to the theater room, bring your go back because you know what you’re going to do

[30:13] [Phoebe] there. So get the go back. Yeah. Can we go back to that party? I wish. I wish. Well, thanks for

[30:26] [Ed] tuning in and listening to our way back story of our first full swap experience. Don’t forget your
homework. Tell a friend about our show. The more people you tell, the more people listen,
and the more people we can help and pass on these great stories and life lessons and examples and

[30:49] [Phoebe] help more people. We love helping people. Yes. You can also, if you’ve got a great story,

[30:56] [Ed] leave us a voicemail at 916-538-0482 or contact us at SwingerUniversity.com.

[31:09] [Unknown] Keep learning, keep growing, and keep it sexy. Oh, one last thing before you go.

[31:39] [Ed] If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is
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[32:05] [Unknown] We’ll see you again soon.