🎉 We threw out all our rules – Our first full-swap swinger experience

Welcome to Swinger University. I’m Ed.

And I’m Phoebe.

And this episode’s a little different.

We’re gonna go way back.

A little way back machine.

And talk about our first full swap.

It’s got all kinds of juicy details and some things that you weren’t proud of, but you know, stuff happens.

Yeah, some lessons learned.

Lessons for sure.

For sure.

And some things that we’ve figured out since then that we’ll let you in on.

And the dirty secret will come out.

We were part of a Facebook group called, do we want to name the Facebook group?

It’s defunct now. It’s all gone. It was the fun ones. It was called the fun ones. Who doesn’t want to be part of the fun ones? It sounded like a lot of fun. It was a private Swinger Facebook group. And we got invited because we had been on a meet and greet boat day. Started talking with a bunch of people. They said, oh, blah, blah, blah. Here’s this Facebook group. And we said, how do we get in the group? Right. So we got an invitation. Yeah.

One of the people who was on the boat was having a birthday party coming up. And this was going to be her birthday party. She was like, I want everybody to be there. It’s going to be super exciting. It’s an Alice in Wonderland theme, which was super cool. We were going to come in costume. I had bunny ears and I was the rabbit, the white rabbit.

And it was interesting because it was not just a house party. This was a sleepover. Yeah. It was way out in the boonies. Yes. Way out in the boonies. Way out.

Can we say way out again?

Way out.

And it was on a ranch. It was a very nice ranch with a very, it was an estate basically. Yeah.

were places for people to sleep in bedrooms or you just brought your kitchen bag and a mattress and you slept on the floor or. Or you had a camper and there were a number of people who had trucks, campers and parked those on the property. There were a lot of people there and a lot of people slept over. Yeah, they did. A couple of people just slept in the bed of their truck because it’s, it was summer. Then the temperature was nice. It was great. Yeah. And one of the, and this will come up later, but it’s not really a big surprise. It’s not a big surprise. It’s not a big surprise. It’s not one of the big surprises in the house besides having like the built in aquarium and horses and the big pool and the waterfall and all that kind of stuff.

They had a theater. Downstairs. Oh yeah. Like a big theater. Yes. Like surprisingly.

Large. Theater.

Professional. Full on.

And you were an actor and actress and you were previewing your own movies. Kind of theater. Probably the biggest one I’ve ever seen. We’ve been watching these million dollar house tours on YouTube.

And I think this was a bigger theater than. Yes. It was huge. So nice. Yeah.

I think that’s a big surprise. I think it’s a big surprise. Yeah. So the sleepover part of. The party was. Was a first for us. So the first was we didn’t, we didn’t know the host. We didn’t, we, we knew of them. We knew their part of the group. We knew maybe one or two or three couples.

And then we knew that. And then we knew. And then we knew that they were going to be like, Oh, I don’t know where. So there was all these unknowns, which was really.

Not.

Great for my comfort level because I. Yeah. Too many unknowns. And this is when we were still really nervous. About. Yes. Lifestyle. I don’t think we were. More than what? Two years in the lifestyle a year and a half in. Yeah.

So. Yes.

Correct. So there was a lot riding on this evening. Worth this weekend.

So. And if I remember, right, the conversation was.

If this particular couple is going to be there and we kind of knew that they were going to be there. What do you think? I mean, would. Would they be maybe the first full swap couple?

I think we had a lot of discussion. Leading up to that party about that particular couple. And yes. They’d become the chosen ones for us. Right. We were targeting them. Oh yeah. Big time.

Yes.

So this couple that we had found.

It was a very, very good. Yeah. Yeah. And we had a very good. The boat day. Actually our first introduction to them. They pulled up to the dock and the misses had kind of. Weaned over. Yeah. The front of the boat to kind of like grab the dock. She. She was very well. Endowed. Yes.

Which was very inviting. So we had to get on that boat. Yeah, we absolutely got on that boat and.

We were targeting. It was very, very handsome. Yeah. He was, he was, he was fit. He was a good looking guy. So

We walked in, we put our stuff down. And there was. Oh, and we brought food. Everyone. Brought food. So it was like a potluck. Yeah.

And we had a lot of food. We had a lot of food. A lot of food. And we had a lot of food. We had a lot of food. There’s a ton of food. A ton of mixers, a ton of food. Of course, when you go to these things, there’s just a ton of everything you can’t ever drink at all or eat at all. There’s usually way too much food. Yeah. So once again.

Our contribution probably went in the trash later that night, but that’s okay. Food was great. And there is music. There’s lots of conversation.

So let’s talk about the theater. And the theater. There’s a small spot where we could put our stuff upstairs, kind of on this landing area, which was nice and open. Almost like a sitting area. If you wanted to make it. We got a tour of the house. We already told you about the theater room and then let’s talk about outside first. Yeah. So.

Really large outdoor patio space, multiple levels.

with not just a fountain. This was like a rockscape cliff waterfall. With infinity edge. Yeah.

Hot tub, very large hot tub, probably a 10 person hot tub. Yes, built in with more rock structures, like something you’d see at a resort, honestly. Or hotel. It was fabulous.

The multicolored lights, shifting lights, the whole thing. Yeah, that’s right.

There was like a little mini stage at one end of the pool. Remember, there was a guy, a really attractive guy, the boyfriend. He was dancing up there. There was lights shining on him. It was almost like a stripper pole stage dance area.

And there was plenty of seating outdoors, some couches right along the back of the house. And people were just hanging out, having a good time, great conversation, like you said. And as the evening progressed, it started to get a little bit darker. And so the lights came up, and the tiki torches, and all the fun stuff started coming out. At some point during the evening, I remember people started playing in the small living room area right off the kitchen, like right there. Right. Like on the couches and stuff. And I remember being a little shocked, because it’s right there. Right, right next to the food. Right next to the food. So it was a very intimate–

it was– they were very intimate acts. There was more than one person having intercourse, or some sort of soft swap there. And it felt uncomfortable for me to just be snacking, or pouring a drink, because I didn’t want to distract them. So I was torn between sustenance, and drink, and watching live porn, and honoring one, and not having conversation. I didn’t know what to do. It was all very awkward. I felt very, very awkward. Yeah, I think in general, we felt pretty awkward that night. I did. It was an awkward night. So we kept running into this couple that we were targeting, and having the conversation, working on– just dropping hints, and trying our best to make it known that we were really interested in them for soft swap. So we made our preferences known.

And they had reciprocated and said, yeah, we’re pretty selective. We’re picky. We haven’t been with very many couples. It’s– we’re interested, too. And I think at that point, we kind of hit the right time in the evening, where everybody was comfortable enough. And we had the brilliant idea to go down to the theater– Yes. And have sex there. Yes, because I was like, who can say they’re had sex in a theater? And I got arrested. Right? So let’s go do it down there. Because the whole– I mean, the whole property was pretty much anywhere. You want to go and have sex. So I’m like, let’s go down there. It was also private. It was quiet. And there was porn playing on the theater screen. So there was plenty of sound and stimulation. If I remember, I too, weren’t there beanbags in the front, too, where I think people could hang out there? Anyway. Yeah.

So yeah, we made our way down. Yeah. And we paired off. And we picked seats right next to each other. Yes, we did. We started off with oral sex. Right. And there wasn’t a lot of conversation about preferences. We did say we were soft.

And that’s basically it. I mean, we didn’t know.

We didn’t know what we didn’t know. We didn’t have a lot of wishes, directions, yeses in our repertoire. So we couldn’t really say, this is what I want. It also wasn’t really great at asking for what I wanted and being confident just saying that. Yeah, that hadn’t really come out yet. Right. So I do remember scrunching so far down into that theater seat that my neck– oh my god, the next day my neck got so tweaked because I’m like this. And your neck is practically at your belly button, your chin. These weren’t reclining. No. These were kind of old school theater seats. Yeah. Nice and cushy, but not the reclining ones. Yeah, not super deluxe. So I don’t know how long we’d been going at it. A nice long time. It was good oral. I got to look over at you and watch you. And there was a boob grab.

And at some point, we decided to have the conversation about trying full swap.

And so we said, hey, you want to try it? And everybody said, yeah, let’s do it.

So where were our condoms?

You know, that’s a really good question.

I’m not sure where they were. I don’t know where they were because we didn’t use one. No. Oh! That was really weird for us because we’re big on safer sex practices and using condoms all the time. But I think in the back of our heads, we kind of figured, quote, they were safe because they were– Selective and said they hadn’t played much. Right. If at all. Well, OK, they’re married. They’re together. They haven’t played very much with other people. So really, it’s just– Their risk level is low.

Yes. That was what we were thinking. That was what they had told us.

Yeah.

The sex was fun. I had a good time.

Got to sit down. She climbed up in my lap. She did a little girl on top. Oh, yeah. The ride thing. In the seat of the theater chair. That was really sexy. Really sexy, having the theater lights, the lights from the screen kind of light everybody up and all their parts. And she was a lot of fun. She was a lot of fun. I like touching her. She’s so soft. She was very soft and squeezy. Squeezy, yeah.

So yeah, so that happened. And I think also part of that was just us being awkward, right, that transition of let’s get the condom. We were in the mood. It was sexy. We felt like breaking that would ruin the mood. And we didn’t want to ruin the opportunity. And now, years later, it wouldn’t have been a thing.

But we did it. We did it. And I think the other component to this– and this is important. I think this is another key takeaway from this was this was our first time. So we were super excited to do it. Yes. Like really excited to do it. This is a first. This is like losing your virginity. Oh, gosh, yeah. And I don’t think we were thinking clearly. No. No, because I didn’t ever experience all these emotions and the hormones and all that stimulation all at once. It’s very overwhelming. Oh, yeah. Very overwhelming. And there you have it. That kind of went down like that. Yes.

And so we finished down there. And then we went upstairs to continue the party.

And we had discovered pretty much everyone left the house. And they were all down at the hot tub. Right.

So we decided to join everybody else. Yeah. We’d gotten some water. We’d rehydrated, right? Because we had just– you know, we were hot. Yep.

And we ended up in the hot tub with a bunch of other couples and this couple again. And we ended up having sex again with them. In the hot tub. In the hot tub.

Bad. Really bad idea. Bad for the vagina. But it was a lot of fun. There were blow jobs on the side of the pool. There’s a photo of me giving a blow job. It might be you, but I think there’s a photo of me. So yes, photos happened, which was also another rule. No, no. No photos. We were not out. So now that’s out there. And I didn’t know. It was too late. Someone snapped a shot. I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah. We found them later on Facebook in the group. This was before Facebook was policing.

By the way, you can’t do that anymore. You absolutely get caught. So yeah, right. So now two things, two rules already broken. Right out the window. All the rules gone.

So did that for a little bit. Got some more food. Got some more water. Now rehydrated. We’ve recharged. We’re ready to go again. We’re still horny. So we go to the lounge chairs.

Yeah, well, we were in the pool first for a little bit. For a little bit, yeah. Flirting with a single female. Single female. Also very new for us.

And we end up on one of the lounge chairs with this lady. So it’s the three of us kind of– Soft swapping and all this. Doing some fun stuff. That was great.

Except if you’ve ever had sex on one of those folding chase lounges for the pool, you’ll know that they’re really wide. And I ended up with the worst rug burns on the insides of my legs from straddling that.

It was terrible. Like, I think it was actually bleeding. It was bad. It was bad. But high five to you for not giving up. Nope. It got to pull through.

So yes, I was the recipient of all that sacrifice that you made, which was a lot of fun. So here we are having sex in front of people. They’re cheering on us on at the hot tub. And we had never done that before either. Another first. Right. Right. We let it all out that night. We did. We were just all in.

So we probably hydrated it some more. We probably had some more food. I may have drank a little bit more at that point. But things were winding down. People were starting to kind of peel off and find their little bed places. Yes. So we said, OK, let’s–

you’re sore at this point. I was really sore. I’m tired. I’m not needing– Yeah, your legs are bleeding. My vagina’s got all kinds of chlorine in it. Micro tears. Micro tears. All of that. Yeah.

And you want to have sex with me. Right, because I’m still horny. So we make our little bed up on this landing. And we’re laying there. And you’re reaching over, groping and touching. So we start to have sex, I think. Yeah, and I think it was partially because we could hear someone in the next room having sex. Oh, yeah. So there’s sounds of sex all over this house. Everywhere.

So great. And so I’m getting in the mood again. And you’re going–

Oh, no, if I could do this. I don’t know if we could do it. But we’ll try. We’ve got Lou. And we’re doing the whole thing. And then we finally– I think we go– This is a prime opportunity. The sounds kept going and going and going. And we’re like, oh, my gosh. Here’s another great opportunity. Let’s go for it. We’re all in. Let’s knock on the door. When in Rome– Yes. Do the Roman orgy. Yes. Let’s just keep going. We very gently tapped on the door. And the door opened. And we noticed that they were in the shower. Yes. And this fabulous red-headed man with a beard opens it. I wish I could find him again. He was very attractive. Yeah, he was a funny guy, too. And charming and funny. Hilarious. Great personality. Yes. And so then he poofed, disappeared, and then went into the shower. Right. And we’re like–

Where did they go? Where did they go? So we’re like, do we follow them? I don’t know. So we did. So we’re now standing in the bathroom, watching them shower. Right.

Soaping themselves, rubbing themselves. Which was fabulous. Super great. Who gets to watch that? They towel off. They come out of the bathroom. Yeah. They jump in bed. And they start going at it. Right. And– Right there. Right. I think there was three people in that room. There may have been. Unless another person came. But I know there was two girls and a guy, for sure. So they’re going at it. I think they invited us to the bed. We were on the bed, but it was still kind of separate play, same bedroom. Yes. That’s very traditionally what we had done. So there was all of us on the bed going at it, having a great time, laughing, just the great noises, the great visuals. Everything’s going on all at once. Meanwhile, Phoebe’s pussy is on fire. Right. Fire. It’s so painful now. Everything hurts. But you know how pain kind of turns to pleasure? It’s painful, but it’s pleasurable. So there is this weird combo of pain, pleasure, pain, pleasure. So yeah, I wanted to stop, but I wanted to keep going. And then eventually, I tapped out because–

Because we were going to break something. I was broken. For sure. So broken.

And I was probably not doing much better after that either. I’m pretty sure I was raw. I think all the skin came off your penis. Exfoliation in the best possible method, but still, you’d be painful. Oh my god.

OK, so yes, next morning. We did get some good sleep-ish, I think. Yeah, we did. I think we passed out. I think we did. Just slept through. We wake up in the morning, had breakfast, cleaned everything. Everybody was still really on speaking terms, nothing weird. Right? I was really nervous about the morning after.

And because people are different in the morning. And people were nice. People were cordial, friendly. Yep, everybody hugged.

We helped clean up. Helped clean up a little bit. And had our coffee. And off we went. Off we went. Drove home. Had probably the most intense conversation ever. Oh, yeah. And it was, like I said, out in the boonies. So we had a good couple hours to talk about it all the way home. Yeah.

Yeah, what a night. What a night. It was a night. And we were good about not beating ourselves up, about not using condoms. But we had decided that can never happen again. And what we discovered years later. And this is where it comes up. Here’s the lesson, everyone. Here’s the lesson.

No matter what people tell you, oh, I’ve been tested. Oh, I’m clean. Oh, we only play with others. Oh, we have a tribe or a quad that we only play with. We never– right?

Absolutes are never absolutes. Right.

People have selective memories. Or in the case of this particular couple, they were unaware of each other’s behavior, and one of them had been stepping out of the relationship and having sex on the side. And that came out later. A year or two years later, we found out. Then– That explained it so much.

And then I was pissed because now I’m thinking, oh my gosh. What if I– What did we get? What did we get?

So I don’t know if we had gone and got ourselves tested right after that party. It would– I don’t remember, but it wouldn’t surprise me if we did. Because we were pretty risky. I mean, very risky. And we weren’t prepared for that break in our rule. So– Yeah, I think we waited probably a month or two to get tested to make sure that we were outside of the window. Yeah, right. And then we got tested. And then, of course, as everyone knows, well, if you don’t, you really have to wait three to six months before you test again, before you’re actually clear. So taking your test a week before your local adult resort trip and it comes back clear doesn’t really mean you’re clear. Right.

that was our first full swap. A lot of rules broken, a lot of lessons learned. But it was a really epic time. Yeah. I mean, we walked away with it.

Just an amazing experience, a great story, and memories. Like yesterday. Oh, yeah. Still vivid memories. And wondering where some of those lovely people went. But as we know, people come and go pretty frequently. It’s difficult to find people that stay in the lifestyle. Yeah, yeah. And it’s unfortunate that group did finally just kind of dissolve and everybody went their own way. Yeah, and Facebook kind of ruined it, too, when they started locking down They did. Yeah, yeah. We created a second group from there. It just wasn’t the same. It wasn’t the same. Yeah.

Anything else you want to add to that sexy story? Any other lessons? No. I mean, I think the valuable lesson in that was just don’t go by what people say because they’re either forgetting or they’re not being truthful or who knows. You just don’t know. Yeah. Yeah, you do. You stick to what you’re comfortable with. And honestly, if they don’t like it, then they’re not for you. And I get it. It’s frustrating because there you are, the perfect moment, the perfect time. And we had been in so many places where the opportunity was right there. But we just didn’t pull the trigger. We didn’t make the move. And this time we– And they got away. And they got away. Yeah. The new change or whatever. So yeah, absolutely. But you know what I was thinking?

Even with condoms, that still would have been an epic night. Sure. Yeah. Although you probably would have been even more torn up, but that’s a whole other– I know. But yeah, the condoms wouldn’t have ruined the experience at all. It still would have been a first. It still would have been exciting. Yes. There’s still all of that fun stuff going on. Yes. So you don’t have to take that risk– In order to have a good time. In order to have a good time. Yeah. And the lifestyle is risky enough as it is. Yeah. So take the extra precaution. Take the extra five minutes. And if you know that you’re going down to the theater room, bring your go bag.

Because you know what you’re going to do there. So get the go bag.

Yay. Can we go back to that party and use condoms again? I know. I wish. I wish.

Well, thanks for tuning in and listening to our way back story of our first full swap experience.

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