5 Tips for Better Swinger Event Experiences

Want to know a few tips for swinging the fun into your favor? Stay tuned for our top five tips for making swinging events more fun for both you and your partner.

Hi, I’m Ed. I’m Phoebe. And this is Swinger University where we’re going to talk today about five tips for better experiences at events. As you can tell, we’re not in the studio. We are

high above Stoney Lake in desolation wilderness. Yeah, we like to get out for a different experience. So let’s keep on that thread. We’ll talk about having better experiences at events. One of our favorite tips and one we use all the time is to have a game plan before every event. Because your moods change based on what you want. I mean, we, sometimes we wake up happy. Sometimes we wake up grumpy. Sometimes we want a threesome. Sometimes we want an orgy. I don’t know. So what we’ll usually do is we’ll look through the guest list and figure out if there’s any people who we are really interested in getting to know a little bit better or even having some fun with. And it just depends. Or who we haven’t seen in a while. And then we make sure that we make a point of trying to reconnect with them. What we’ll usually do is the day of the event, we kind of decide what our game plan is. What is it that we want to accomplish at that event? So we’ll get together and we’ll go, I’m kind of in the mood for this. Or what are you open to? And half the time, at least lately, we’ve been like, well, I’m open to everything. But let’s just see how it plays out. Yeah. And even that, even the let’s wait and see is still a plan. Yes. And without a conversation, you’re going in blind. You have no idea what your partner’s in the mood for. They may be having a terrible week and you walk in there going, all right, game on, let’s go. And they’re like, what the hell are you doing? I’m not, no. Not today. Not today. Knowing what you’re up for and each together and where your partner’s mental state and physical state is, what they’re up for is very, very important. Right. And worst case scenario, as everyone said, which is not the worst case scenario, is that you end up just connecting with your partner a little bit at an event. And maybe that’s the game plan. We’re just going to go there and at the end of the night, probably about two hours in, we’re just going to hit one of the playrooms and we’re going to do our thing. Right. That could be the game plan too, but it’s still a plan. I also know a lot of couples will have sex before they go to the event. They reconnect so they feel really bonded before they go. Sometimes they do it as a standard all the time. Sometimes they do it when they haven’t connected all week. They had a busy, stressful week. They didn’t have time for sex, but they decide that that is their game plan before the night to ensure that they are connected before they go play with others. Yeah. There’s another positive to that too. And that’s that you’ve kind of got your juices revved up before you get to the party. So you’re like extra ready for something to happen at the party. So I like that plan. We might have to start introducing that plan a little bit more. It’s a good plan. We’ve done that occasionally. We reconnected after a busy, stressful week. Yeah. More is better. Part two, be prepared for anything. And this is kind of a multi-factor thing, but the most important one is whether you’re in the mood or not, have your go bag packed and ready. Yep. Because you never know once you get to the event, you may change your mind. You may decide, you know what? Seeing this crowd, I’m down for some shenanigans. This might be good. But if you didn’t pack your bag, you’re not ready for anything. You can’t go.

Oh, and another thing that you could be prepared for is to have an outfit change. So maybe you’re not feeling sexy when you get there and you see what other people are wearing. You may want to change your outfit. A lot of times the ladies will do a lingerie change partway through the night, depending on your area and depending on what the mood is for the party. You may just want to be prepared for that. But if you didn’t bring any, then it’s hard to change. I’ve even talked about bringing different dresses based on the theme of the night. If you wear something, but then you’re worried that it might not actually fit the theme or you’re worried that somebody else might have your same costume and you know that that’s just going to throw you off, bring an extra outfit.

You’re leaving the house and you’re like, “God, it’s pinching a little here on the side. I’m probably not going to be comfortable with this all night long, but for the first hour, it’ll be okay. And then I’m going to change into this other thing because I know that’s really comfortable.”

Right. I have done this before because having your mental, physical, all comfy is very important. Otherwise, it just throws you off. Absolutely. Part three, huddle at halftime. Oh, yeah. We’re not big sports fans, but it’s a good metaphor for what we’re going through. If someone catches your eye at the event, that’s also a good place to rehuddle. So you look through the guest list before nobody caught your eye, but you get there and you’re like, “Oh,

I’ve changed my mind or my mood just changed.” And either one of you can have that happen. Maybe both of you did. That happened at our last house party. We both looked at each other and like them and yes. Okay, let’s go talk to them. Get together partway through the evening. As you’re wandering that party, reassess your feelings. Things change depending on the mood, the atmosphere, what the food’s like. Yeah. And we have the game plan going in, but then that changes. You have a conversation with them and all of a sudden things just changed. Maybe you felt like they were dissing you for the last three parties and you’re like, “Well, I guess we’re off their list now.” And you feel a little butt hurt. And then they come up to you and talk to you and you’re like, “Oh, well, I guess we’re back on.” You just never know. You just never know. And this is key. So having a good time doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to score that night or that you’re going to have a sexual encounter. It could also mean to have a good event means that you decide not to play. So let’s say at the beginning you said, “We’re all on. This is the couple. This is what we’re going to do. I’ve got my outfit ready. We have our go bag. Let’s go.” You get to the party and then you go, “Oh, hell no.” That is still a good… This method still works for having a good positive event. At the end of the night, you go home and you’re not mad at each other and you left intact. And that’s what’s important to have a good event. I’ve said to Ed, “I’m just not feeling it tonight. Nobody is interesting to me. I’m kind of feeling meh right now. I don’t know if it’s me. I don’t know if it’s the vibe. I don’t know if it’s the venue. I don’t know what it is.” But then that could change. It could change in 20 minutes. Having these little side huddles are really important. Right. It could also change when the hot couple that didn’t show up at the beginning of the party shows up late in the party and then you both look at each other and go, “Oh, yeah. That. We’re in for that.” Keeping in mind that you’re there with your partner, assuming you’re not a single showing up, seduce your partner in order to score with others. So as long as you keep each other in the mood, you’re going to have a good time. You’re going to flirt with each other. You’re going to have a good conversation. It releases the serotonin and the dopamine and all the things that we talk about all the time in terms of chemicals in our brain that sex does for us. And if you guys are keeping that chemistry going, it, one, makes you look sexier to other couples, but you feel sexier with each other. And it kind of turns the night positive. Even if it’s maybe a ho-hum party, you’re having a good time, which is what’s really important. And here’s the important thing. At the end of the night or halfway through the night or within the first 20 minutes of the night, I don’t know, you decide that you guys are revved up. Maybe you had your four sex and you’re now going to have a during sex. That may actually inspire other couples to join you, which can kick the whole party off. So it’s always a good thing to be into your partner and have a good time with your partner and to keep them excited about the whole thing. – 100%. – Last one. This is the hard one, I think, for a lot of people. And that’s closing the deal. We were at hedonism and there was a couple who’d come up to us and they said, “We’re great with having conversations. We’re great with meeting people. We have no problem. We figured out those hurdles to kind of break the ice and get to that point, but we can never close the deal. We talked to so many couples and it just doesn’t happen. Have an agreement with each other and then go up to that couple and just make the offer.” Yes, you’re putting yourself out there. Yes, you may be rejected, but if you don’t ask, you’re never going to know. We went through this at the last party. We were like, “Hey, would you guys be interested in going back and playing in one of the playrooms?” And they said, “Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun.” If we hadn’t asked, we could have just continued carrying on the great conversation, smile, laugh, hee hee hee, flirt a lot, a little, and nothing would have happened if we hadn’t made that approach. I can’t tell you how many times this happens at events where two people really want to get together and no one can close the deal and so it just doesn’t happen. It’s a very small push and then you’re there. Right. It’s amazing how just that little ask creates so much fear. Right. Well, and I’ll give another example. This actually happened at the last party too. There was a woman there and she and I have been having this sexual chemistry for a couple of years now. Neither one of us have approached the other. It just didn’t seem like it was going to happen. And this time, she made the approach. She came up to me and I was like, “Oh, she’s into this. Okay. Yes, absolutely. This would be fun. I’m down.” And it’s having the courage to go up to somebody and make that offer for it to actually happen. As a matter of fact, you’re probably not going to get anywhere if you don’t make the offer. Yes. Don’t usually just fall into your lap. Although that can’t happen. It can happen. All right. Ready for the bonus tip? We said five. We’ve got six. Here’s the sixth tip. Pull the rip cord when you need to. Yeah. So it’s not just at the end of the night. At any point, if either one of you is feeling like, “I don’t feel right about this. This is not going well. The music is too loud. I can’t carry on a conversation. The food made my stomach upset.” Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s okay to call it a night and head home. It’s a bit of a bummer, but it’s okay because we know the effort that went into getting ready, and we know the money that you paid to be at the event. But guaranteed, you learned something from that interaction, right? And or we just don’t like that venue. Maybe the layout of the house just doesn’t fit well with what we’re doing. There have been house party layouts that just do not work well for me. Right. That’s how it goes. One of the really important things when you do pull the rip cord and you decide to leave an event is to have a conversation about why you did it. Was it just a mood thing or was it something someone maybe specifically said to you, “Who knows what it is,” but it’s important to be able to talk about it afterwards because if you talk about it, you might be able to mitigate that for the next event. And that’s the important thing. In order to have a long-term happy event experience, sometimes it means closing an event early so that the next one is even better. And if you learn from your mistakes potentially, or what happened, or what went wrong, then your next experience is going to be even better because you’re learning as you go. And because we’ve had these discussions, it has helped me a lot because when I pulled the rip cord, I felt guilty for robbing him of a good time. Right. So I was willing to sacrifice some of my preferences or desires in order for him to have a good time, but that

doesn’t work. Yeah, it isn’t working out very well. This isn’t us thing, and it’s an experience we want to have together. That took a little bit for me to get over feeling guilty, that I was robbing him of a good time because the woman is the gas and the woman is the brakes. Learning to own that power and being comfortable in that was also a growing experience. And I think that the more you have those conversations with your partner, the game plan before, the game plan during, and the potential… And I would say talk about it even if it was a positive experience. What did you like about it? What went really well for you? Relive those feelings and those memories. When we have a really good party, the after talk is great and super sexy, and we feed off of that for a week or a month, depending on how good the experience is. Years later, you make a podcast about it, and then you can just talk about it over and over and over again. So it’s important to reconnect with your partner and connect with your partner on a regular basis and have those conversations, and you’re going to have a better event because you’re having

these types of conversations. Every party isn’t going to end in an orgy of delights, but with a little planning and preparation and conversation with your partner, you can maximize your chances for fun at all of your events. Thanks for tuning in. We appreciate you checking out our podcast, listening in, and hopefully you learned something. Don’t forget your homework. Tell a friend about our podcast, and if you want, leave a review or a comment. At the very least, leave a little emoji, you know, interaction and that feedback. We love it. You can also, if you have a fun story or maybe you had a positive experience because of some of the advice that we’ve given you, or you had a good time at a party because you had a game plan, call us at 916-538-0482. You can leave a voicemail with as detailed and dirty as you want, or the only ones who listen to it, we love to hear it. And if it’s really good and you give us permission, we might even use you on the show. So there’s incentive. You could be famous.

You can also contact us at SwingerUniversity.com. And as always, keep learning, keep growing, and keep it sexy.

Want to know a true, want to know a few tips for…